• Bluelight
    Shrine




    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

my amazing wife stargazer is gone

EPL1

Bluelighter
Joined
May 3, 2018
Messages
1,186
Thanks for your pm this morning John, I made a fitting post for her in the shrine of our forum. I hope it pleases you and you find some comfort in time. Your wife was very much loved and appreciated here and a friend of mine.

So sorry for your loss.

your friend,
Ash.




Hello everyone,



I am placing this here with the hope that staff will appropriately place the message.
My name is John. Stargazer aka 10yearsgone and then Stargazer once again was my wife Sherri. I took a while to announce to her friends and other family what happened because I am so devastated. It is with great sorrow that I am now announcing to you that Sher passed away suddenly and without any indication of a problem on 6/29. One day after her birthday. We had been together and happily married for nearly 20 years. I took quite while to figure out her passwords and only knew this one since she told me it and I stored it for some google drive issue a while ago. I know that she deeply touched all of the lives she came into contact with and I have seen several people that knew her only in passing that cried gutterly. She was an incredible soul that I know is doing big things in a better place. It is with some solace, albeit not much that I can confirm that her passing was in fact not drug related. I'm sorry that I don't have much further to add, please memorialize her account, I will not post with it, but I will answer any questions that some may have so long as I have access and the time. Thank you.

John
 
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Stargazer

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Apr 28, 2013
Messages
1,692
Thanks for your pm this morning John, I made a fitting post for her in the shrine of our forum. I hope it pleases you and you find some comfort in time. Ypur wife was very much loved and appreciated here and a friend of mine.

So sorry for your loss.

your friend,
Ash.

Thank you so much. I'll be sure to check it out when I have some time later on.
 

EPL1

Bluelighter
Joined
May 3, 2018
Messages
1,186
That's just terrible and I'm so sorry John. We are all here for you anytime. And I mean that. You're not alone in this.

your friend,
Ash.





I don't know if I quoted you correctly or made some rookie mistake there, I haven't posted here in like 15+ years or something



It was the worst experience of my life. Bear in mind I had slipped up for a few days with dope. And the day before Sher did too. But I never stopped taking my Subutex and neither did she. We just lowered the amount of it while we were fucking up. But this day we did nothing. But when I saw her like that I was worried it was somehow drugs but I knew at the same time it wasn't. I did her shots because she was bad at it. And we ran out overnight the night before. Now imagine this. I hear her hit the floor and I'm not taking any chances. I narcaned her. Nothing. Narcaned her again and dial 911. All withing like 10 seconds. Now I'm doing CPR on her and she's bleeding from her face. On top of that I've fucked up on dope for 3 days and just hit her with two nasal sprays of 4mg each and now I'm blowing into her mouth and pinching her nose. So I'm narcaning myself while I'm doing this. Gagging and feeling precipitated withdrawal doing this and still having hope because her eyes were still open. The whole fucking scene was like a page out of hell.
 

F.U.B.A.R.

Moderator: BDD, OD, LAVA
Staff member
Joined
May 12, 2010
Messages
14,901
Location
UK
Oh man, I don't know what to say other than please be assured that you did your best...
 

Xorkoth

Sr. Mod: PD, TR, TDS, P&S
Staff member
Joined
Feb 8, 2006
Messages
41,035
Location
Shadowmeister v0
I'm so sorry... reading of your account with trying to save her made me tear up and gave me chills. Worst nightmare situation. <3

I didn't really know her but I knew of her and saw some of her great and caring posts. She will be missed by us here. But I can't even imagine what you're feeling.
 

JackARoe

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 16, 2009
Messages
868
I can feel the emotion in this thread. I am sorry too. Stay strong, you already seem very strong. Times like this are times to keep your eyes and ears wide open. The deep Love is forever. That is the only reason we feel pain. And you two married for 20 years means you know each other well. If the situation were reversed you are doing what you would want your wife to do if it were you.

Your strength has that ripple effect and it touched all of us. I wish you and your family peace. Keep that Love in your heart. Thanks for stating that the good works continue. Nature shows us that in all its array of clues as well as all of our holidays that center around this topic. (most people are oblivious to the meanings)
Someday... keep the flame going while we have our cross to bear.
 
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lovemissile66

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 22, 2018
Messages
124
I am absolutely gutted right now. This unfortunate piece of news is not AT ALL what I was anticipating, when over the course of this Summer I tried in vain to reach Sherri. I knew she was heading to Florida
and we spoke before her trip (and what a trip!). And then it was like she vanished. I really can't handle this right now. John, I am sorry for your loss. We now have in common, a horrible thing. I also lost
my partner of 20 years, almost three years ago. Wish I could tell you it gets better. I'm still lost without him.
Sherri was fucking awesome. We really cheered each other on and she was genuine. She also loved you very very much. Dude, I am not able to process this. Its surreal. I don't want to believe it.
 

Iceman1216

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 27, 2019
Messages
309
Location
North East - Long Island
Just am amazing person all around ! Helped so many people with well placed kind words!
I know it sucks, but I hope you are doing ok?
Have family around to celebrate her life !! All is well
John - Ice
 

Asclepius

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Aug 30, 2010
Messages
6,346
Location
Europe
Stargazer was so beautiful inside, and out. Such a bright light on the recovery forums.
So sorry for your loss. :( <3
 

Iceman1216

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 27, 2019
Messages
309
Location
North East - Long Island
I hope you and your daughter had a pleasant thanksgivings, Sheri would have wanted that for sure .
God Receives us in to his Loving arms, and allows us into his magnificent kingdom😍
He does not take us, she is in heaven, and doing well
 
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