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Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

Snafu of the Forest

Moderator: NMI, NSADD
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May 27, 2020
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11,190
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I live in a giant bucket
I'm at a place in my life where the only person who can stop or start me is myself

that is not really a good thing

what are you doing? what. are. you. doing..... I think I just stole all the plants out the local farmers market... all god's critters?

pigs... two trap brainiac... asshole pigs... pot belly pigs... punch drunk pigs...

let's make a deal?

Just give me a consolation prize blue ribbon because I gave my effort for sure
 
Last edited:

on.my.way🌿

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2020
Messages
484
Hi blue guys, im alive, barely. Got addicted to bensos and pregabalin since the trial. I’ve made so much stupid things and ended up in bad situations. Now in trying to taper but it’s hard when you dont want to.
My grandpa is dying from cancer I visited him today. He will probably not survive the night.
over and out
 

Snafu of the Forest

Moderator: NMI, NSADD
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Messages
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I live in a giant bucket
Hi blue guys, im alive, barely. Got addicted to bensos and pregabalin since the trial. I’ve made so much stupid things and ended up in bad situations. Now in trying to taper but it’s hard when you dont want to.
My grandpa is dying from cancer I visited him today. He will probably not survive the night.
over and out
Take care friend. I'm sorry for your loss :(

I'm glad you were able to see him today.
 

Ghost fart

Bluelighter
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Jun 5, 2021
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Finland
Hi blue guys, im alive, barely. Got addicted to bensos and pregabalin since the trial. I’ve made so much stupid things and ended up in bad situations. Now in trying to taper but it’s hard when you dont want to.
My grandpa is dying from cancer I visited him today. He will probably not survive the night.
over and out
I am sorry that you have to go through all this. If you want to talk, i am here. I lost my grandma to cancer when i was maybe 15 years old. I spent a lot of time with her (every other weekend Friday -> Sunday) and i loved her and grandpa too. I was supposed to be with my violent drunk cop dad every other weekend but he did not care.

That was the most traumatizing weekend i have ever had. I won't go into details, because you are in the middle of it all right now. But i am here if you want to talk about how you feel. Or if you don't feel anything at all.
 

Boku_

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Nov 4, 2008
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831
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Melbourne AU
They certainly NEVER consider planning to take you off the drugs at some stage as part of the decision to prescribe them
My doc tried to reduce my meds after 6 months, no joy.

Apparently some patients on zyprexa/Seroquel etc can stop them sometime between age 40 and 50 due to their life just makes sense to them all of a sudden.

A couple of older ex alcoholics told me that
 

Perforated

Moderator: SLR, DC
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Sep 28, 2019
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My doc tried to reduce my meds after 6 months, no joy.

Apparently some patients on zyprexa/Seroquel etc can stop them sometime between age 40 and 50 due to their life just makes sense to them all of a sudden.

A couple of older ex alcoholics told me that
I desperately needed anti-psychotics at age 40 but by age 50 didn’t seem to need them at all. Apparently, anti-psychotics (especially Abilify) make physical changes to your brain with extensed use thanks to neuro-plasticity. Making some of their benefits permanent.
 

ashwolf22101

Moderator: MH
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Dec 30, 2017
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Running with the wild horses in ketamine land
Felt pretty decent today, had a good bit of anxiety due to a social situation but it was well managed. Last night was a different story.

Last night I had suicidal ideation and a panic attack for the first time in awhile due to a trigger. I hate suicidal ideation and panic attacks. They seem to always come in a combination for me.

OH! And I found more Vraylar! So I have four more months worth of my antipsychotic that I can no longer afford. I rue the day I have to come off of it though and WD ):
 

on.my.way🌿

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2020
Messages
484
Grandpa died a few days ago.
I feel trapped. Im too dependent on another person regarding bensos and lyrica. Hes so jealous too now all of a sudden. Hes on my phone when im not in the room.
Im barely keeping up with cleaning and doing dishes and stuff my back hurts from sitting in a bed. Too scared of people to go outside. Too poor to substain my addiction on my own.
Im barely getting by. Fucking lyrica it destroys me. Have to go now hes cominc back from work.
Cya later blue friends
 

AlphaMethylPhenyl

Moderator: MH
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Liminal
Grandpa died a few days ago.
I feel trapped. Im too dependent on another person regarding bensos and lyrica. Hes so jealous too now all of a sudden. Hes on my phone when im not in the room.
Im barely keeping up with cleaning and doing dishes and stuff my back hurts from sitting in a bed. Too scared of people to go outside. Too poor to substain my addiction on my own.
Im barely getting by. Fucking lyrica it destroys me. Have to go now hes cominc back from work.
Cya later blue friends

Thanks for reaching out. We are always here for you<3
 

n3ophy7e

Moderator: TDS, H&R, MH
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Dex's room
Grandpa died a few days ago.
I feel trapped. Im too dependent on another person regarding bensos and lyrica. Hes so jealous too now all of a sudden. Hes on my phone when im not in the room.
Im barely keeping up with cleaning and doing dishes and stuff my back hurts from sitting in a bed. Too scared of people to go outside. Too poor to substain my addiction on my own.
Im barely getting by. Fucking lyrica it destroys me. Have to go now hes cominc back from work.
Cya later blue friends
I am sorry to hear about your grandpa :( And I am so sad to hear you're in this situation with your partner. I have been in a couple of abusive relationships so I know how much of an emotional prison it is. Do you think you could find the strength to leave him?? It's not healthy for you to be with him.
 

on.my.way🌿

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2020
Messages
484
I thought he was "normal" but things are coming up to the surface. Cant end this now, relying on him for bensos and lyrica. Plus i like him and he's nice its just the jelaousy thing that bothers me. Afraid he will be like all the other guys i met (Narcissistic). I dont know. Almost hooked on subutex now also fucking shit.
Not doing good. I dont want to be "normal" yet I want to go to raves and festivals, he says he dont like that kind of stuff and that hes too old for that
T h i s wasnt really coheasive (?) at all sorry
 

on.my.way🌿

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2020
Messages
484
Im not doing good. Either he is getting worse or im just paranoid. Still reliant on him for drugs. Had a fight yesterday and this morning. Usually we dont fight. He is unreasonable when we discuss things. Or maybe im in the wrong here. Idk.
Ptsd has been worse the last week. Mostly from people calling that i dont want to think about at all. I hate who i was a few months ago and its still coming back to haunt me i have to change my number and social media accounts
 

Buzz Lightbeer

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Dec 1, 2018
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where I roam
Hypomanic. Gotta up my Seroquel XR dose, but it's such a dirty drug so I don't want to. I'd like to add Lamictal as it's apparently quite the common combo, maybe it would help with the depressive episodes.

I'm doing nothing really, waiting until I can go to a more specialized hospital, they classified me as an emergency but it still takes a while :S.
 

Hippy Flower Fairy

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Aug 8, 2021
Messages
350
Crying, depressed, tired and sick from not eating properly in weeks due to withdrawal and need to act normal as in about an hour when my dad's visiting as he has no idea

How do you pretend to be happy when you're legit crying every few minutes, valium kick in before my dad arrives please as I can't fucking cope, can't fucking stand up I'm so weak from hunger, I'm a mess so thin, I'm just going to worry him if he sees me like this
 

n3ophy7e

Moderator: TDS, H&R, MH
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Dex's room
Crying, depressed, tired and sick from not eating properly in weeks due to withdrawal and need to act normal as in about an hour when my dad's visiting as he has no idea

How do you pretend to be happy when you're legit crying every few minutes, valium kick in before my dad arrives please as I can't fucking cope, can't fucking stand up I'm so weak from hunger, I'm a mess so thin, I'm just going to worry him if he sees me like this
Can you just say you're coming down with a head cold??
 
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