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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

Blowmonkey

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 15, 2003
Messages
11,663
Location
No
Hey! Do any of you have tinnitus? I feel a loud ring in my right ear when everything is quiet. Kind of drives me crazy. Is it related to the comedown?
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP 🤣

yeah if you don't have it normally you're gonna likely get rid of it, mdma always made me have weird audio hallucinations even days after dropping, but it always went away.

Until one day it didn't, but this has nothing to do with the mdma. Fucking always wear earplugs and don't set your goddamn volume too high.

I hate panflutes.

edit: eat some magnesium, eat it. if you do have slight hearing damage, nmda antagonists (which magnesium is, most readily available one you can get your hands on) have neuroprotective qualities.
 

Dcoqo

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 9, 2019
Messages
13
Hi guys,

It's been two weeks since I last took MDMA at a rave and I haven't felt normal since. I don't think I took that big of a dosage and waited 10 weeks from the last time I took it, but I was sleep deprived, took an energy drink / alcohol and may have been possibly dehydrated.

For the first week I had brain fog and difficulty focusing my eyes, after a week my eyes seemed to get back to normal, but my brain fog was still there. I went to the ER because I was getting scared I possibly had a heat stroke at the time I took it. They did blood tests, did a chest x-ray (cause I was complaining about waking up to chest pain) and an ecg, but they all came up normal and they sent me off. The next day I had my first migraine (felt like my brain was throbbing) and went back to the ER to get it checked and the doctor again sent me off thinking I just had a tough 2 weeks and just needed to chill.

Here I am now concerned about triggering another migraine. How can I confirm that MDMA did this to me? Has anyone had migraines follow MDMA use? What are some general steps and timelines for recover? I know there is a lot of information on this thread, but honestly I'm terrified of reading it as I was already anxious hearing about the effects from others on Reddit. Thanks
Hey! Its been 10 days for me since my comedown started and I’m also having migrains. At least I think they are migrains: strong headache on the right part of my head, sometimes triggered by loud noises and strong lights.
 

2C-X

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
15
Nope, nothing of this will last forever.

A year ago I was in the same position as you guys (Dcoqo and manimessedup)
chest pains, extreme anxiety, nightmares, brain zaps, panic attacks, spasms, hypochondria, myoclonus, insomnia...a huge list of symptoms, I can't even remember them all. But now I'm fully recovered!!!

good news: recovering is possible!
bad news: recovery will take loooonger than you think, 1 year or even more, so be patient

The worst stage is the first 2 months because you don't know what's going on, and you don't even know what the "triggers" are.

well, the triggers are:
-alcohol
-drugs
-caffeine (coffee and especially soda)
-antibiotics
-stress

All these things make your symptoms worse for a couple of days, and then you return to a kind of baseline where things seem more stable.
What you have to do is stay away from the triggers! avoid them!
 
Last edited:

manimessedup

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
8
Hi, I deleted my previous reply because I'm scared of possible negative feedback. But my question I want to still ask is:

What are some general steps and timelines for recover? I know there is a lot of information on this thread, but honestly I'm terrified of reading it as I was already anxious hearing about the effects from others on Reddit. Thanks
 

manimessedup

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
8
Nope, nothing of this will last forever.

A year ago I was in the same position as you guys (Dcoqo and manimessedup)
chest pains, extreme anxiety, nightmares, brain zaps, panic attacks, spasms, hypochondria, myoclonus, insomnia...a huge list of symptoms, I can't even remember them all. But now I'm fully recovered!!!

good news: recovering is possible!
bad news: recovery will take loooonger than you think, 1 year or even more, so be patient

The worst stage is the first 2 months because you don't know what's going on, and you don't even know what the "triggers" are.

well, the triggers are:
-alcohol
-drugs
-caffeine (coffee and especially soda)
-antibiotics
-stress

All these things make your symptoms worse for a couple of days, and then you return to a kind of baseline where things seem more stable.
What you have to do is stay away from the triggers! avoid them!
Thanks, definitely cutting out alcohol, but stress is a hard one when it can't be so easily controlled. Congrats on recovery, what are some changes you had to make to be get there?
 

rinzzlerr

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 19, 2019
Messages
53
Alcohol definitely makes it worse. I remember I went to a Festival, got smashed on alcohol, and had really bad facial twitching for a few days during my recovery. Stay away from alcohol and any drug in general. You guys will recover, keep reinforcing that to yourself and you'll see drastic improvements. Light-moderate exercise daily helps, once you've been working out regularly for about a month, ramp it up a bit to heavy exercise a few times a week.
 

Dcoqo

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 9, 2019
Messages
13
Alcohol definitely makes it worse. I remember I went to a Festival, got smashed on alcohol, and had really bad facial twitching for a few days during my recovery. Stay away from alcohol and any drug in general. You guys will recover, keep reinforcing that to yourself and you'll see drastic improvements. Light-moderate exercise daily helps, once you've been working out regularly for about a month, ramp it up a bit to heavy exercise a few times a week.
I used to go the gym 3 to 4 times a week, but now I feel like exhausted all the time. And with the headaches... will I be able to hit it back?
 

manimessedup

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
8
I used to go the gym 3 to 4 times a week, but now I feel like exhausted all the time. And with the headaches... will I be able to hit it back?
Dude same. I went to the gym twice a couple days after rolling, but the brain fog was too much that I stopped. Here's to hoping we can soon.
 

rinzzlerr

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 19, 2019
Messages
53
@Dcoqo and @manimessedup

The brain fog is one of the first things to go, it seems that way in most people. You have to stay consistent with the good things, exercise is good for you. Do light to moderate exercise daily, and the symptoms will lessen. It's even been shown that exercise is key for brain health along with a healthy diet. If you try it for a few days and quit it WONT work, think of it as a suffer now, be rewarded later kind of thing. You wont see results immediately but with some time it will prove beneficial. Trust the advice being given here, it's all basically the same and mostly everyone is getting better or fully recovering, myself included.
 

SunriseChampion

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 7, 2018
Messages
152
Location
Toronto
Yeah, guys, listen to @rinzzlerr. Exercise, clean diet, proper sleep, abstinence = guaranteed fix.

It may not be a short term fix wither so don't give up after a few weeks.

For example, I quit smoking almost 4 weeks ago and I'm still coughing up rubbish, so I sometimes think to myself: what's the point, may as well be smoking. Nah, just keep it going.

Be a stubborn asshole, get er done.
 

G_Chem

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2015
Messages
1,153
With exercise, it doesn’t have to be intense or long.. Whatever you can manage. A lot of people get in this headspace where they feel they need to workout for a certain period of time or certain intensity for it to be worth it.

If all you can manage is a walk around the park or a set of 10 pushups, that’s ok. The important thing is that the next day you try to step it up a bit from the day before, maybe day 2 you try for 12-15 push-ups or add in 10 sit ups, etc.

Cardio exercise is shown to cause neurogenesis but HIIT and Lifting are majorly important too.

-GC
 

Femkevg

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
3
Hi all,

I've been reading this forum and after 4 months of crippling anxiety I think I finally found what's wrong with me...

4 months ago we went to a festival where we used xtc and I experienced a severe panic attack. As it was festival season, I used xtc a couple of times in two months (not smart) but I never did a lot and was always cautious. Prior to this, it had been a long time since doing xtc, and I only did like once or twice a year.

This severe panic never went away. It went on in ruminating and catastrophizing thoughts as where I couldn't go to work any more, being in a constant fight/flight mode. I tried neurofeedback for two months, which didn't help me and cost me a lot of money. Tried EMDR because the psychologist thought I had to process my trauma from the festival, didn't work either.
We went to a party a couple of weeks ago, when we came home I could still hear a sound from the party (which I often had when I went out, but it always went away after sleeping and it never bothered me before) but now, due to my anxiety, I immediately freaked out about having tinnitus. I kept hearing it from then on (a really high hissing sound coming out of my head), not being able to work again (I was working parttime at that moment). I'm sure I don't have hearing loss for my age (I'm 29) I can hear up to +16000hz, much more than my boyfriend who is younger. My GP described me Sertraline for my anxiety but I had such side effects (trembling, extremely agitated, diarrhea, not being able to sleep, and a night when I tried to sleep I heard an extreme loud noise coming out of my head so I had to take a Lorazepam to calm down and sleep), I stopped it after two days. My GP in my parents town described me Escitalopram (Lexapro) but I didn't have the guts to take this. He said I also had water in my ears so I have to use a nasal spray for 2-3 months.
I stayed at my parents from there on for two weeks. My tinnitus gradually subsided, as where I could only hear it (before I could hear it above the TV and everything) when it was completely silent if I went to sleep or woke up and this noise was something I always heard in silence (always thought it was my blood rushing) also my anxiety levels went down and I was more relaxed.

The next week I started working again (parttime), this went okay. That week we had to go to my boyfriend's family which stressed me out because they know nothing about my anxiety problems and I had to pretend everything was alright. The tinnitus came back in full force and I had a new vague ringing coming out of my left ear.
This monday I went drinking with a friend of mine, got wine drunk, went home, ate something and took melatonin for sleep. The alcohol combined with the melatonin must have caused some reaction because when I was falling asleep suddenly my head was screaming and I had to take a Xanax due to severe panic. I was really scared again to drink something, although normally I would drink some wine with dinner or in a restaurant and this had no effect at all on my T. I was with my parents this weekend, less anxiety, drank three glasses of wine without a problem.

I saw a psychiatrist yesterday, he described me Cymbalta but I'm way too afraid to take it, again. I went from being a really active female 29 year old with an amazing job, who loved to go out and dance every weekend, was planning on starting her own business, to a miserable girl not being able to do something except for take a walk and cry the rest of the day.

All my googling didn't help me. I've read the worst things about every antidepressant, about tinnitus, about frying my brain from the xtc.... by reading this I think I'm experiencing some sort of long term comedown.

What can I do to feel better?
 
Last edited:

Dcoqo

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 9, 2019
Messages
13
Im feeling super guilty and sad. I cannot stop thinking I have done this to myself and that I fucked everything up and it makes me feel awful.
 

Dcoqo

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 9, 2019
Messages
13
Also I feel super lonely. None of my friends understand what I’m going through. I just wanna stay at home and watch movies.
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
303
Im feeling super guilty and sad. I cannot stop thinking I have done this to myself and that I fucked everything up and it makes me feel awful.
Don't feel guilty, it's not your fault and I'll tell you why... We are the 1 in 10 000 to develop these symptoms. There's millions of people worldwide trying MDMA without the negative effects we experience. You didn't know about this risk, you were a young person looking for thrills. If you do extreme sports and you end up paralyzed? Again your fault? That's what it takes to live. At some point everyone could be very unlucky in different aspects.

Your symptoms are mostly anxiety and depression, so your brain will rebalance and bounce back if you provide the right environment and mindset. Back two years ago all the people I've seen were as desperate as you, but not most of them talk about overcoming a challenge, with proud tone in their writing. Just approach the situation with fighting spirit and determination. Easier said than done, but this with combination of being healthy and proactive are your best friends. You can try SSRIs and antidepressants as well. Some cases it helped.
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
303
Hi all,

I've been reading this forum and after 4 months of crippling anxiety I think I finally found what's wrong with me...

4 months ago we went to a festival where we used xtc and I experienced a severe panic attack. As it was festival season, I used xtc a couple of times in two months (not smart) but I never did a lot and was always cautious. Prior to this, it had been a long time since doing xtc, and I only did like once or twice a year.

This severe panic never went away. It went on in ruminating and catastrophizing thoughts as where I couldn't go to work any more, being in a constant fight/flight mode. I tried neurofeedback for two months, which didn't help me and cost me a lot of money. Tried EMDR because the psychologist thought I had to process my trauma from the festival, didn't work either.
We went to a party a couple of weeks ago, when we came home I could still hear a sound from the party (which I often had when I went out, but it always went away after sleeping and it never bothered me before) but now, due to my anxiety, I immediately freaked out about having tinnitus. I kept hearing it from then on (a really high hissing sound coming out of my head), not being able to work again (I was working parttime at that moment). I'm sure I don't have hearing loss for my age (I'm 29) I can hear up to +16000hz, much more than my boyfriend who is younger. My GP described me Sertraline for my anxiety but I had such side effects (trembling, extremely agitated, diarrhea, not being able to sleep, and a night when I tried to sleep I heard an extreme loud noise coming out of my head so I had to take a Lorazepam to calm down and sleep), I stopped it after two days. My GP in my parents town described me Escitalopram (Lexapro) but I didn't have the guts to take this. He said I also had water in my ears so I have to use a nasal spray for 2-3 months.
I stayed at my parents from there on for two weeks. My tinnitus gradually subsided, as where I could only hear it (before I could hear it above the TV and everything) when it was completely silent if I went to sleep or woke up and this noise was something I always heard in silence (always thought it was my blood rushing) also my anxiety levels went down and I was more relaxed.

The next week I started working again (parttime), this went okay. That week we had to go to my boyfriend's family which stressed me out because they know nothing about my anxiety problems and I had to pretend everything was alright. The tinnitus came back in full force and I had a new vague ringing coming out of my left ear.
This monday I went drinking with a friend of mine, got wine drunk, went home, ate something and took melatonin for sleep. The alcohol combined with the melatonin must have caused some reaction because when I was falling asleep suddenly my head was screaming and I had to take a Xanax due to severe panic. I was really scared again to drink something, although normally I would drink some wine with dinner or in a restaurant and this had no effect at all on my T. I was with my parents this weekend, less anxiety, drank three glasses of wine without a problem.

I saw a psychiatrist yesterday, he described me Cymbalta but I'm way too afraid to take it, again. I went from being a really active female 29 year old with an amazing job, who loved to go out and dance every weekend, was planning on starting her own business, to a miserable girl not being able to do something except for take a walk and cry the rest of the day.

All my googling didn't help me. I've read the worst things about every antidepressant, about tinnitus, about frying my brain from the xtc.... by reading this I think I'm experiencing some sort of long term comedown.

What can I do to feel better?
Often side effects of antidepressants subtle within few weeks to 2+ months. You have the choice to try to endure it for a chance that it will work. If it doesn't then you can cross the antidepressant from your list and try next one. Often takes 2 or 3+ tries before you get the right one.

So that's your first option. Second is to handle it with healthy lifestyle, therapies and alot of non-stressing distracting activities. I often imagined the silly picture of running out of happy fuel, and MDMA gave me a hole in the tank. So had to constantly fill with positive feedback til the hole is repaired.

It's dim, however I've made a discord server with few people in there. One of the channels has pinned 20+ recovery stories. I can easily make them 50+ but lazy. Oops.. tell me it you're interested.
 

Femkevg

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
3
Often side effects of antidepressants subtle within few weeks to 2+ months. You have the choice to try to endure it for a chance that it will work. If it doesn't then you can cross the antidepressant from your list and try next one. Often takes 2 or 3+ tries before you get the right one.

So that's your first option. Second is to handle it with healthy lifestyle, therapies and alot of non-stressing distracting activities. I often imagined the silly picture of running out of happy fuel, and MDMA gave me a hole in the tank. So had to constantly fill with positive feedback til the hole is repaired.

It's dim, however I've made a discord server with few people in there. One of the channels has pinned 20+ recovery stories. I can easily make them 50+ but lazy. Oops.. tell me it you're interested.
I'm really interested in reading success stories...
 

Dcoqo

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 9, 2019
Messages
13
Are you experiencing or did you experience any visual symptoms? If so, what do they consist in?
 
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