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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

Can you describe your brain fog please?
I’ve read a few of your posts, and from what I’ve seen, our symptoms appear to be different.

My brain fog is there 24/7, could also be described as pressure, or a weight, I feel like I’m not fully there, my memory is affected, lights have halos around them etc...
 
I came back because I wanted to inform others like yourself that I recovered from my LTC, and the steps I took to recover. A sense of duty to reassure others, if you will.



You won't find a solution to your problems on here. I know I can't speak for everyone, but I used to be a regular haunt on this thread and it only served to keep me ruminating about my condition. One of the best things I did for my recovery was to stop coming on as for me it just served to keep me stuck in the same pattern of thought. I'm not the first to suggest this on bluelight either.



I emphasise with you completely. For me, the "brain fog" was the very last thing to go, and I only really got over it by opting to accept it and trying my best not to let it bother me. I'm sure you're already aware of this but DP/DR (ie "brain fog") is a common symptom across a range of anxiety disorders (ie PTSD, GAD), so by treating it as such and learning to 'accept' it, it will gradually fade over time.

If you click on my profile and check my postings from 2016/17, you will see I was suffering from the same symptoms as you. The best explanations and advice I got was from Cotcha Yankinov.
Yeah I read a few of your posts and the comments on there. The advice Cotcha gave you about mindfulness was quite eye opening as my brain fog cause me them problems with attention etc... I’m just in a cruise control state most of the time and my memory is terrible. I did notice though that in that post you said your only symptom to persist was poor memory, with no mention of brain fog so I’m a little confused by that ( not calling you a liar) before your brain fog went away, did it occur 24/7 or was it just in patches? I just am seriously worried the MDMA has done something bad to my brain (other than cause me anxiety ) I also noticed someone told you that once they got treatment for their anxiety that their brain fog went too. I always thought for ages that my brain fog was being caused by my anxiety but then most people said it only comes in patches when it’s down to a psychological problem as opposed to a physical problem (e.g damaged neurons) it’s a very intricate, confusing topic, yours went in a few months, mine is here 3 years later, everyone is different and it’s frustrating because it makes it harder to get definitive answers.
 
Yeah I read a few of your posts and the comments on there. The advice Cotcha gave you about mindfulness was quite eye opening as my brain fog cause me them problems with attention etc... I’m just in a cruise control state most of the time and my memory is terrible. I did notice though that in that post you said your only symptom to persist was poor memory, with no mention of brain fog so I’m a little confused by that ( not calling you a liar) before your brain fog went away, did it occur 24/7 or was it just in patches? I just am seriously worried the MDMA has done something bad to my brain (other than cause me anxiety ) I also noticed someone told you that once they got treatment for their anxiety that their brain fog went too. I always thought for ages that my brain fog was being caused by my anxiety but then most people said it only comes in patches when it’s down to a psychological problem as opposed to a physical problem (e.g damaged neurons) it’s a very intricate, confusing topic, yours went in a few months, mine is here 3 years later, everyone is different and it’s frustrating because it makes it harder to get definitive answers.
get enough sleep, a lot of omega 3, bananas (tryptophan have), add turmeric, play sports, come back to yourself and you'll be more than ever, I guarantee, you'll still thank mdma
 
get enough sleep, a lot of omega 3, bananas (tryptophan have), add turmeric, play sports, come back to yourself and you'll be more than ever, I guarantee, you'll still thank mdma
What will I thank mdma for?
 
I did notice though that in that post you said your only symptom to persist was poor memory, with no mention of brain fog so I’m a little confused by that ( not calling you a liar) before your brain fog went away, did it occur 24/7 or was it just in patches?

Honestly, I can't recall the time when I made that post, but I can say now that most of my symptoms lasted for a little over two years, with brain fog being the last to go. It definitely fluctuated in severity, with some days better than others. I even still had occasional bouts of panic and anxiety which would return, particularly when I had been stressed out at the time. In hindsight, it was only when I paid too much attention to the "brain fog" that it really got to me, and the best advice I got was to try and accept it being there, rather than try and wait for it to go. Easier said than done, but you can get yourself into a mindset of trying not to let it bother you. I also think my memory problems were in part because of the constant brain fog, due to the altered attention (as Cotcha explained).

I just am seriously worried the MDMA has done something bad to my brain (other than cause me anxiety ) I also noticed someone told you that once they got treatment for their anxiety that their brain fog went too. I always thought for ages that my brain fog was being caused by my anxiety but then most people said it only comes in patches when it’s down to a psychological problem as opposed to a physical problem (e.g damaged neurons)

You would have to abuse a colossal amount of MDMA over a long time to do any *significant* damage to your brain. I know many people who used (and still use) far more than I ever did with no problems whatsoever, as I'm sure you do too. What I had, and what you have still got, is psychosomatic. The very notion that you've permanently damage your brain is enough to create feelings of distress and unease.

it’s a very intricate, confusing topic, yours went in a few months, mine is here 3 years later, everyone is different and it’s frustrating because it makes it harder to get definitive answers.

As I've mentioned above, mine lasted a lot longer than a few months. I estimate that it lasted a little over two years, but its difficult for me to put an exact timeframe on it because its a very gradual process with lots of good and bad days. I certainly didn't wake up one morning feeling back to normal. You have to realise as well that mental illness is subjective, so there is no objective amount of time that will make you better. Time certainly is a factor in recovery, but you do have to adopt some positive attitudes as well. For me, trying my best to get on with life without letting my symptoms bother or hinder me, and not spending every waking second thinking about my symptoms, was what eventually worked. Just accept them, and they will go on their own.

Last but not least, I made the mistake early on of believing that after a certain amount of time my symptoms would go on their own, and become further distressed after each passing month, and eventually year, that they didn't. It doesn't matter how longs it been, and thinking about how its been three years will only serve to distress you. Accept the condition, and try to stop thinking thoughts such as "its been so long its never going to go", or "I must have damaged my brain", because they aren't true, and are only making you feel more spaced out (DP/DR or "brain fog").
 
Honestly, I can't recall the time when I made that post, but I can say now that most of my symptoms lasted for a little over two years, with brain fog being the last to go. It definitely fluctuated in severity, with some days better than others. I even still had occasional bouts of panic and anxiety which would return, particularly when I had been stressed out at the time. In hindsight, it was only when I paid too much attention to the "brain fog" that it really got to me, and the best advice I got was to try and accept it being there, rather than try and wait for it to go. Easier said than done, but you can get yourself into a mindset of trying not to let it bother you. I also think my memory problems were in part because of the constant brain fog, due to the altered attention (as Cotcha explained).



You would have to abuse a colossal amount of MDMA over a long time to do any *significant* damage to your brain. I know many people who used (and still use) far more than I ever did with no problems whatsoever, as I'm sure you do too. What I had, and what you have still got, is psychosomatic. The very notion that you've permanently damage your brain is enough to create feelings of distress and unease.



As I've mentioned above, mine lasted a lot longer than a few months. I estimate that it lasted a little over two years, but its difficult for me to put an exact timeframe on it because its a very gradual process with lots of good and bad days. I certainly didn't wake up one morning feeling back to normal. You have to realise as well that mental illness is subjective, so there is no objective amount of time that will make you better. Time certainly is a factor in recovery, but you do have to adopt some positive attitudes as well. For me, trying my best to get on with life without letting my symptoms bother or hinder me, and not spending every waking second thinking about my symptoms, was what eventually worked. Just accept them, and they will go on their own.

Last but not least, I made the mistake early on of believing that after a certain amount of time my symptoms would go on their own, and become further distressed after each passing month, and eventually year, that they didn't. It doesn't matter how longs it been, and thinking about how its been three years will only serve to distress you. Accept the condition, and try to stop thinking thoughts such as "its been so long its never going to go", or "I must have damaged my brain", because they aren't true, and are only making you feel more spaced out (DP/DR or "brain fog").

Did you notice any issues with your vision or your visual perception?
 
hey guys,

it´s been a long time and I´m very happy to say that I´ve recovered from my LTC which started in april 2017.
the first 4 months were hell on earth, I didnt feel like a human being. after half a year I felt significantly better, but there was still something off definitely.

since then the battle has been to get back into life, to forget about possible brain damage and let my mind rest. now I dont think about LTC anymore. my cognition is as good as before, emotions are back, vision is not blurry anymore. I´m living healthier than ever, quit smoking and try to move as much as possible which feels great.

So hang in there guys. Try not to ruminate and give your brain its much needed rest. think positive and live healthy, most of you will get over this, this is in most cases just a temporary problem and your healing depends a lot on you letting go of negative thoughts and focusing on the beauty of life, even if its hard for you to see at the moment.
 
hey guys,

it´s been a long time and I´m very happy to say that I´ve recovered from my LTC which started in april 2017.
the first 4 months were hell on earth, I didnt feel like a human being. after half a year I felt significantly better, but there was still something off definitely.

since then the battle has been to get back into life, to forget about possible brain damage and let my mind rest. now I dont think about LTC anymore. my cognition is as good as before, emotions are back, vision is not blurry anymore. I´m living healthier than ever, quit smoking and try to move as much as possible which feels great.

So hang in there guys. Try not to ruminate and give your brain its much needed rest. think positive and live healthy, most of you will get over this, this is in most cases just a temporary problem and your healing depends a lot on you letting go of negative thoughts and focusing on the beauty of life, even if its hard for you to see at the moment.
Are you on any antidepressants?
 
Oh right have you got any tips my panic and anxiety started in sept 2017 and haven't had much improvements since the first 6months
have you been to a doctor yet? if not I would definitely seek medical help. I didn´t and I regret that, because dealing with this stuff on my own definitely didnt help my condition.
 
I would advise to live as healthy as possible. things that can make you feel better:

Get up early and go outside, so the circadian rhythm is on track and the hormonal system is functioning nicely.
Try to get sunlight often (depending on location of course) - preferably naked.

plant based diet with lots of protein and healthy fats. try to avoid sugar. a chelated magnesium supplement could be beneficial for you.

no drugs, cigarettes or alcohol, limit caffeine,

break a sweat everyday with light exercise.

meditate or learn other methods to calm your nervous system. which is basically what cause all the issues for a lot of people. an overactive nervous system, amygdala etc.

these things will give your body the building blocks for life basically. they can significantly help your recovery. At least you will put yourself in the best possible place for healing. but for me especially relaxation and positive thinking have had the biggest effects on my wellbeing. and being outside a lot.

and most importantly - patience...this might take some time but me and most people eventually recovered.
 
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I would advise to live as healthy as possible. things that can make you feel better:

Get up early and go outside, so the circadian rhythm is on track and the hormonal system is functioning nicely.
Try to get sunlight often (depending on location of course) - preferably naked.

plant based diet with lots of protein and healthy fats. try to avoid sugar. a chelated magnesium supplement could be beneficial for you.

no drugs, cigarettes or alcohol, limit caffeine,

break a sweat everyday with light exercise.

meditate or learn other methods to calm your nervous system. which is basically what cause all the issues for a lot of people. an overactive nervous system, amygdala etc.

these things will give your body the building blocks for life basically. they could make a big difference in your recovery or no difference at all. but you will put yourself in the best possible place for healing. but for me especially relaxation and positive thinking have had the biggest effects on my wellbeing. and being outside a lot.

and most importantly - patience...this might take some time but me and most people eventually recovered.
Ok thanks I'm willing to try anything since my antidepressant have stopped working. Have you tried any vitamins and had any luck with them.
 
Did you notice any issues with your vision or your visual perception?
Yes and no, I had the symptom of feeling like I was watching life through a glass plane or cloud (as a result of DP/DD or "brain fog"), and I have floaters in my visual field which have remained to this day.

I haven't experienced any HPPD, which I recognise is a common symptom on this thread. Its my understanding that this is largely a symptom of anxiety as well, so I wouldn't be alarmed.
 
since then the battle has been to get back into life, to forget about possible brain damage and let my mind rest. now I dont think about LTC anymore. my cognition is as good as before, emotions are back, vision is not blurry anymore.

I can't stress this point enough. Most (if not all) the symptoms of an LTC are created by anxiety, the symptoms of anxiety (DP/DR, memory issues, brain fog, panic etc) reinforce the false belief that one has 'brain damage', which only serves to stoke anxiety and exacerbate symptoms even more.

Once you rid yourself of this belief, which isn't true, and get on with living your life and not ruminating about your condition, you will gradually find yourself not caring about your symptoms, and one day they will be gone completely. But only if and when you accept your condition and stop ruminating.

I did it, @rrandy did it, countless others on previous threads did it. So will all of you.
 
@PillsAndKills

What's your opinion over the fact that my memory is trash even when I have no anxiety. For an example last days I feel great, I laugh and being silly, .etc... However I don't remember anything from yesterday, even hardly remember what I did today... :(
 
@PillsAndKills

What's your opinion over the fact that my memory is trash even when I have no anxiety. For an example last days I feel great, I laugh and being silly, .etc... However I don't remember anything from yesterday, even hardly remember what I did today... :(
and how do you live, what kind of heart do you have, what are you doing in life, do you do any sport?
 
One year after my ltc I've stated having slight pain and burning in the heart area, went to 2 cardiologists and they said everything is fine.

I am having very sedentary lifestyle, no sports, and not eating particularly healthy.
 
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