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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

lostarchipelago

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 22, 2019
Messages
5
We are at very similar points… my last time taking mdma was November 2017. My lifetime usage was fairly tame - 18 uses over about 6 years. Nothing that should really cause any serious permanent issues.

My symptoms are almost entirely cognitive (brain fog, difficulty focusing, memory impairments) or sexual (0 libido, PE, reduced pleasure from orgasm) - I’ve never had issues with floaters, visuals, panic attacks, etc.

I just completed a 5 session course of ketamine assisted psychotherapy with my psychiatrist. First 2 sessions I took ketamine lozenges (200mg then 400mg), then 3 sessions of intramuscular injections (130mg, 175mg, 200mg).

I haven’t noticed any significant cognitive improvement but my anxiety is way down and my mental state is definitely better. It’s helping me stick with a variety of additional lifestyle improvements (sleep, socializing, exercise) that I’m hopeful could result in overall improvement.

I’m happy to answer any questions.

How bad was your anxiety prior? And how was the experience while taking ketamine?
 

Samoz

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 6, 2019
Messages
106
Who have vivid dreams after more than 2.5 years
Its killing me
If there is any issue let me now please
 

Samoz

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 6, 2019
Messages
106
Im seeing the world differently its fla grey its strange . Deos enybody have this
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
366
A random pop from me!

Many of you take supplements, especially zinc and magnesium which are proven essential for proper biological functions, some especially crucial for us...

The thing is this type of supplements proved useless to purchase if you have basic dietary knowledge! So today I'll highlights...

Pumpkin seeds!

They include a lot of minerals, but most crucially magnesium and zinc! On top of that they have a lot tryptophan amino acid, which the body converts to 5HT(Serotonin) the buddy we need. :)

So in just a single good you get a lot of minerals responsible for cognitive function and synaptic plasticity, on top of Serotonin boosting amino acid, and *ba* *dum* *tsss* that's not all, it's rich in omega 3, unfortunately ALA which converts to a specific rate in EPA and DHA, but nevertheless provides great benefits.

There's pumpkin seeds you don't need to peel, so you can get adequate amounts of 100-150g daily. But it's a great example how you can strip multiple supplements for a single super food. And never forget LTC doesn't have single solution, but a combination of multiple ones. Hope someone will find it useful, good luck. :)
 

Shady's Fox

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 12, 2017
Messages
8,724
Location
Palm trees & sea, just walkin along the beach.
As for dreaming kinda depends, I am well nurtured in this, why you might ask. Me & wife we had nightmares and we went to see a therapist. Only I did opiates and shit, she only did mdma and psychedelics and the drugs were comsi comsa ( so and so, if you aren't used to these type of ghetto acronyms, anyhow this being said it didn't influence our brain that much but the use of MDMA for me kinda helpt me get rid of nightmares, say kinda because you also need to have some self'control. In the run time, I add both of us, 7 yrs we got rid of'em. It also didn't influence our personality that much as you might think, as I helpt both of us. I was always strong, i had this gift. All this being said, my wife also asked him this outta blue and he said that brain chemistry differs and if you don't suffer from racing thoughts you don't dream as often as you might think. They're heavily linked with the dream world.
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
366
Another quick update.

Exercise is probably one of the thing we should do, but unfortunately it's not universal
with ltc, because cortisol response is different for everyone making things worse or masking the benefits, on top of that motivation is often lacking when you're suicidal lmao, (I can make these jokes because I've been there)

Again an easy solution to all this is... micro exercises. In the recent years there's a lot of research done, and the benefits
are often on pair with regular exercising.


Wish I knew this hack when I had LTC, 1-3 minute of exercise randomly through the day can be as impactful.

Aerobic exercise like shadow fighting for 1-3 minutes.

Anaerobic exercise like squats and push-ups for 30-40 seconds.

That's all... Few times throughout the day and the health benefits staking long-term. :)
 

Rapidone

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 16, 2021
Messages
5
Hey LTC Friends,

I've been doing a lot of research into psychedelic therapies, namely Ketamine therapy and Psilocybin therapy (or more specifically microdosing psilocybin).

Seems a bit counter-intuitive to use recreational drugs to help treat an issue brought on by recreational drugs, but I have personally tried just about everything else aside from Benzodiazepines.

For context / My story:

I'm currently 3.5 years in to this mess, have definitely seen personal growth throughout the process, and have had better and worse times etc., but I don't feel as though I'm getting any closer to being free of this illness. Most of my symptoms would fall under GAD / Depression & DP/DR, cognitive slowing. As an A-Type naturally outgoing person, social anxiety is my least favourite symptom. If I could just cure one thing it would be that. I have tried most classes of antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications, CBD, Supplements of all kinds, meditation etc. For the last 2 years or so I've avoided alcohol with some small "relapses" if you will, do not consume caffeine, have a low sugar / high fat & protein diet, most of the past few years stress was low and exercise was frequent, although admittedly that hasn't been the case for a bit. I constantly challenging myself mentally, and am always learning new things - I essentially run two separate businesses which keeps me busy all the time. And no, just because I am "capable" of doing that doesn't mean I'm not terribly messed up in the head. Most days I feel rather incapable.​
Also relevant: I had a similar experience a few years prior to the MDMA experience. I had an anxiety / panic disorder which was brought on by smoking weed. The first time it only lasted 6 months or so, then went away on its own. So anxiety as a response to psychoactive drugs is a recurring theme for me.​

Now, back to the original topic which I'm more interested in debating: Psychedelic Therapies / Microdosing.

It seems as though this has not been discussed at all in this group, and perhaps that's because it seems unconventional. Again, personally feeling like I've exhausted most other options, I'm willing to try a Hail Mary.

The idea behind psychedelic therapies in general is that they create plasticity in your brain, and generally boosting positive neurochemicals at the same time. At higher doses they can obviously create space for more "spiritual awakening" if you will, or even just create a self awareness in the user towards suppressed emotions and topics.

Is there a reason this hasn't been widely discussed here? Or am I one of the first to consider it as an option?

I want to believe that if a recreational drug could have such a massively negative impact on my brain, surely another drug could have a massively positive impact as well. I also am very curious to know what you guys think about the idea, I'm treading carefully on the idea.

Cheers,
Lostarchipelago
Hey bro, I think if you previosly had similar issues that went away with time, you should keep waiting this time as well. Going all in might make this even far more worse. These are my thoughts.
 

Rapidone

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 16, 2021
Messages
5
Just a reminder that LTC is temporary and reversible.

Every time I log into Bluelight (which is not too often), I like to go through this thread and give some hope to those who are going through this shit. I do it because when I was in my LTC I didn't see positive stories, I only saw people suffering and sharing symptoms.

I recovered about 2 years ago, it took me 14 months, and today I can use all kinds of drugs without any problem because I'm 100% recovered (yes, including MDMA!!!)

It took me 14 months to recover...but please don't take 14 months as a rule. It could take 6 months, 14 months, 24 months, or even more, nobody knows...

My symptoms were:
-panic attacks
-chest pains (which led to cardiophobia)
-irregular heartbeats
-insomnia
-myoclonus (jerks when trying to sleep)
-severe hypochondria
-muscle spasms
-intolerance to caffeine, alcohol and all kinds of drugs
-generalized anxiety

Those are the ones I remember, but I think they were more ...

Good luck to you all. Be patient, time is your best friend :alien:(y)
Hey mate, how did you get these symptoms from the start? Did you overdose, or?
 

Rapidone

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 16, 2021
Messages
5
Hey all, sharing my story, maybe someone will find it of use.

I've been rolling MDMA for 2 years heavily from 2019 till January 2021. Sometimes every weekend, sometimes every months or so.
During this experience my only negative issues were depressed mood for a week or a couple of weeks after rolling.
After a year of rolling my depressed mood was lasting much longer, but I just got used to the idea that that's just my general state and it is not so related to MDMA, as I have been generally suffering from GAD since I was 10 y.o. or something. (I am 32 now).
Now I understand that MDMA with time was bringing my mood way down (giving depression for months), to a point when I would be crying when I wake up before going to work and not being able to relax most of the time.
I had a major crackdown after I went through COVID in December 2020. My COVID was really mild and lasted for two weeks after which I felt absolutely fine.
So I rolled on New Year, right after I recovered from COVID, and I have been drinking alcohol during most of New Year holidays (In Russia they last for about 10 days). I also took Nitrous Oxide gas occasionally.
And on the end of holidays I noticed visible pulse on inner part of my ancles as well as fasciculations on my acles and shins + minor twitches there.
At first I thought it was due to COVID only so I did not bother about substances. I did some Nitrous Oxide in a week or so and the symptoms got more intense.
A couple of Panic Attacks added up, occasional brain fog and trouble focusing.
Anxiety due to these visible symptoms and depressed mood got worse. I was crying a lot like a b1tch thinking that I would have this for the rest of my life and that I would die.
At some point the symptoms got a bit better and I rolled on MDMA a month later in February. My mood got even worse and in a couple of weeks after it I started twitching occasioanlly in any part of my body. Plus the visible pulse appeared on my palms. I have never had issues with sleep, but due to insane anxiety and changes in my brain chemistry I started waking up in middle of the night and not being able to fall asleep for some time thinking about the symptoms I have.
I am done with MDMA and Nitrous Oxide for good, as now I finally understand that none of those things are worth a healthy, positive long-term mental state.
After 6 months my symptoms are getting better and I am now feeling fasciculations much less, twitching has almost gone away. Things like coffee or nicotine or stress may raise the symptoms but only for a short time.
My general learning from this is that there is nothing much unique about LTC from MDMA that would differ from cocaine or other similar substances. It's just a general nerve/brain overload (which can be stacked up by other things, such as COVID in my case which is notorious for neurological damage). All physiological symptoms are also connected with emotional ones. Once my mood stabilized and my sleep got back to normal my physical symptoms also started to get better. I also stopped focusing on these physical symptoms less when my mood got better. By the way, focusing on them and raising my stress would also stimulate more twitches.
At some point I started taking 5HTP constantly before going to sleep and it helped me a lot with mood and sleep.

The good point is that I am confident that everyone is able t get back to normal, all you need is time, get your mental state better through healthy lifestyle and all physical symptoms will fade with time as well.
Wishing everyone to get over any shit they are facing and be careful with drugs. Fools like us have to learn it the hard way, every lesson costs something and means something.
 
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