Personally my addiction has changed drastically over the years. I got tired of the negative consequences from using without any restraint whatsoever. When the bad outweighs the good most of the time only a fool will try to keep it going. Of course many of us still do it far longer than logic would condone.
I have not allowed myself to become physically dependant on any substance for a very long time. Idk exactly how long because I have no need to keep track. But we'll over a year for sure.
I still use heroin/fent, meth, and alcohol but I dont use daily and I never hustle to get drugs if I dont have the means in place, I simply don't use. Basically, I am still an addict and I'm not in denial of the negative impact of hard drugs on my life. But, I'm not strung out and I no longer have the overwhelming drive to use no matter the cost.
At this very moment I have a stash of heroin, meth, and booze and I dont feel compelled to do a shot right now. I probably will later on though.
The truth is that I am feeling that its time to quit all the shit for good. The drugs no longer do what they once did for me. The desire to do something new and different with my life is becoming more powerful by the day and my desire to continue being a drug addict is becoming less.
Many addicts think I'm a bullshit when I speak about drugs as if they dont have huge powerful control over me, and that I'm in denial. Perhaps I am minimizing but I have nothing to prove to anyone, only myself.
The thing is this didn't come about over night, its changed over a decade of heavy drug addiction, many rehabs, ODs, deaths, and a shit ton of pain.
Not only do the drugs physically not effect me as before, my feeling about them have become more and more negative. They don't attract me like when I was younger. The illusions have faded the truth about what this shit actually is can no longer be hidden from my brains association with hard drugs.
The reality is that these drugs make me a worse version of myself, never better. The escape it used to provide has quit working, so even when I am high there is no relief.
Much love, you hamster baby mother fucks!