83.5 hours clean
no sleep last night. Exhausted today and called off work for at least this morning. My rls and anxiety still persists. I caved and took a 250 mg Phenibut hCl cap about 20 mins ago. Don’t feel any different but going to dump the rest just in case. Today is gonna be rough...
So it may just be that the days are variable as your body tips about like a seesaw re-establishing equilibrium.
That makes sense it's kind of like a building site with projects to be done from different angles in a certain order with specific materials and with only so much resource.
The body is cleverer than we think and it goes about Healing in its own manner and time often you will make progress and feel much better for it before being greeted with another hill to climb which is the next stage as a layer is peeled back.
So I would expect that your own body will take a little while getting back into balance after such a long time I'm being adjusted in a particular way but I'm sure things will gradually get easier before too long and I'm sure it will be worth it.
I feel for you with the anxiety because that is probably my biggest problem in life and that's saying something because I have the most severe physical obstacles and loads of other mental health problems and injuries etc.
I think you probably did the right thing to take the phenibut. I don't think it counts as substituting or means that you have weakened and have not achieved breaking to the same degree I think that actually it can be useful to help you you ease through certain stages and keep on track without losing anything but actually gaining in the long run and hopefully having a slightly easier time in the short run.
So all you can do is remain mentally strong and know that that things will settle down and you will be able to find means of coping better and hopefully managing and reducing anxiety. You never know how you might think and feel once you have gotten the kratom really out of your system after such a long time you are a different person now and the way you react to and cope with the world can be different as well.
Anyway holding their man, just a few words of support and a little philosophy.
One thing I am later scene and my crashing message is quite heavily because I am getting really high from it in combination with my cannabis which I have reduced but it's still very high strength organic outdoor, my short-term memory is absolutely useless like worse than it ever gets from cannabis alone and that's what I'm using much more heavily.
I have been using the kratom recreationally in combination with the cannabis and enjoying it thoroughly and I have been pretty off my head for the last few weeks.
But my short-term memory is worse than it ever gets and that's definitely related to the question whether it would be the crafting usage alone or the combination with the cannabis and the overall mindset and experience which makes sense actually.
Effectively it's like I'm using cannabis much more heavily and I have experienced this type of short-term memory impairment in such scenarios before.
There is no way I will ever become a long-term addict To kratom because I do suffer adverse respiratory effects which I live with with permanently and these symptoms really affects my ability to speak by interfering with my vocal cords with mucus and inflammation.
Currently my kratom usage is severely hampering my ability to speak fluently and this happens with with pretty much any herbal remedy or supplement out there which I can't tolerate I tolerate the kratom better than most in fact.
