What if jesus was acutally the antichrist and satan in human form made to detrack everybody from the teachings of moses and telling people you can repent for your sins if they are truly unforgivable to god thus making people sin more.
This is wholly (no pun intended) incorrect.
Moses was sent by Satan to draw the Israelites away from the true God, El, by forcing worship of the wicked and deceitful Yahweh. By the time of Jesus, the Jews were finally figuring out that Moses deceived them, so Satan came up to Earth from caves deep below. Satan posed as Jesus the Messiah of the Jews in order draw Jews and Gentiles away from God, and lure them to his caves full of fallen angels, she-devil's, and gnomes (and they're not the garden variety either, folks). When believers die they float upwards to heaven towards Jesus and as they get closer to Jesus, he fades into nothing and is replaced by the words "Work Will Set You Free" in whatever language the dead understand. The believer is then caught up in a torrent of newly dead souls all being herded and lashed by naked giant devils with enormous erect penises, into an underground earth cauldron of wailing and gnashing souls being enternally torn into bits and devoured by Magog himself. This continues until a devil, she-devil, whore of Babylon, or gnome kills Magog and itself is transformed into Magog.
And that freinds is all we have to look forward to in this life.
P.S. this used to be a running nightmare of mine for years, the characters, time and place, and plot points would change but the ending was always the same. I think it was related to sleep apnea because they stopped after I got that under control.
