I am 198 day clean from opiates. I feel like I should be happy I am no longer using. I feel like I am mourning the person I used to be . I quit cold turkey only used buspar for anxiety. Went to therapy but I just felt like the pushing me to use vivitrol so I ended that . When I used I was happy out going had energy etc . Now I just feel like going through the motions. Does it get better ?will I feel better mentally? I guess I just really want to see how others feel or felt 6 months or so in their recovery .
-
The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines Bereavement Mindfulness Suicide Support Anger Management -
TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT
Feels like in mourning
- Thread starter Jennfer75
- Start date
mtu mwendawazimu
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2018
- Messages
- 17,258
Welcome to Bluelight Jennfer75 
I understand.. I am sober right now, for the most part, and part of me really misses the old days.
But it always starts out all good and fine, and never ends that way. Maybe at times we were "functional", but when the shit hits the fan IRL, none of it really registers.. because we are so fucked up and "happy", taking the easy way out of the pain in doing drugs. If it didn't for you, trust me when i say it will all fall apart eventually.
Nothing good in life comes easy. Drugs take a toll on our mental health, our physical health, our financial well being, and can ultimately alienate us from friends and family.
But that constant nagging.. that urge to use.. i get it. But trust me when i say actual, real happiness is MUCH more sustainable, healthy, cheap, etc. and is in the bounds of EVERYONE. We just need to take the time to have new experiences, meet new people, learn about ourselves, and ultimately find what moves us. In the right direction. Naturally.
I understand.. I am sober right now, for the most part, and part of me really misses the old days.
But it always starts out all good and fine, and never ends that way. Maybe at times we were "functional", but when the shit hits the fan IRL, none of it really registers.. because we are so fucked up and "happy", taking the easy way out of the pain in doing drugs. If it didn't for you, trust me when i say it will all fall apart eventually.
Nothing good in life comes easy. Drugs take a toll on our mental health, our physical health, our financial well being, and can ultimately alienate us from friends and family.
But that constant nagging.. that urge to use.. i get it. But trust me when i say actual, real happiness is MUCH more sustainable, healthy, cheap, etc. and is in the bounds of EVERYONE. We just need to take the time to have new experiences, meet new people, learn about ourselves, and ultimately find what moves us. In the right direction. Naturally.
mal3volent
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2011
- Messages
- 32,593
Hey Jennifer! You are almost at 200 days. That is a really long time. Quite an achievement!
To become a new person, it is natural to be mournful of your old self.
Just remember, there's a reason why you worked so hard to put that person behind you.
Keep it up!
To become a new person, it is natural to be mournful of your old self.
Just remember, there's a reason why you worked so hard to put that person behind you.
Keep it up!