Embarassing sex stories...

I was about 16 and laying on my gf's bed getting a cracking bj, and right as i shot my bolt in her mouth her mum burst through the door. In shock my gf spat cum all over me leaving me laying there cock out covered in spunk in front of her mum. She just stared silently at us for about 5 seconds and walked back out. That was 14 years ago and when i see her mum now we STILL cant look each other in the eye.
 
Tied boyfriend to chair, rental agent opens door leading young middle class couple on tour, gives very much abbreviated description of apartment and leaves, pretty much ignoring the elephant in the room. Different things were going on but I think at the time she opened the door I was blowing him, I dont know how much she saw. Really though as awkward as it sounds I was just happy to spice up their day. Im sure I was pretty fucked up at the time though, as it took reading posts in this thread to even make me remember it happened.
 
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^my main memory of that situation was being the only one who could make eye contact with anyone, my boyfriend was avoiding looking at any of the visitors, and the rental agent was pretending the prospective buyers were the only ones that existed, and I was looking at everyone although no one would look at me back. I am sure benzos or alcohol was involed.
 
I was 18...he was older...we were drinking,
smoking bowls...walking around a hometown with
nothing in it to do...
The mood struck...
we happened to find an abandoned building...or so we thought..
which was unlocked..
we made it to the stairs right inside the front door..before my pants..
made it to my ankles...
he decides to try to make me happy;)
which i appreciated the :try" part anyway..
if you know what i'm saying...
in walks..flashlights, uniforms, even a k-9. ( silent alarm)
me ...pantsless..and him..face deep...uggghhh...'
mood killer...apparently they have video of this..who is they?l
i don't want to know...but..
i did get a trespassing ticket..but they spared me the underage drinking..
as they thought i was being taken advantage of by an older bf...
we'd been together 2 years..but they didn't believe me...

i don't remember what his tickets were..but they were harsher on him...
just fines..but still...
i know there's a video...this i don't like...


embarassing.


~token
 
nowonmai said:
I had the daughter walk in too... while mum was getting a little spank for being naughty :eek:
and I've gone down on a girl who was on, and didn't tell me... the following morning, walked into the kitchen to get some juice, and everyone just STARED at me.. I was clueless until I looked in the mirror.. not pretty
[ 26 June 2002: Message edited by: nowonmai ]
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oh , my god
 
tricomb said:
Ambien, 'nuff said...
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Amen!

Only embarressing story I really have is I was at my house chilling with my gf at the time. We were fucking like rabbits our whole relationship since we lost our virginity to each other, so naturally we are exploring new frontiers together. I have her over one day and we're going at it, nothing unusual, just me fucking her missionary. In walks my best friend at the time. Not even joking, the minute I heard him walking up my stairs to my room, I jumped butt ass naked out of my girl, from my bed to my couch, bounced off my closet door and jumped from the closet door into the door just in time to slam it in his face as he gets an inch or two of the door open.

To this day he swears he saw my girls twat as he walked in but I call bullshit, I never ran for the door so fast in my entire life!
 
More painful than embarrasing but new years eve 1999 I was 25 and met this super hot 40 year old in a club...we'd each done a couple grams of coke and about 4 tabs of MDMA each and were both fucked....anyway we end up.back at her place and shes rideing me so hard that my foreskin tears necessitating an emergency circumcision!!! It hurt like fuck but was still worth it ha ha!!
 
I have a few but only time to post one; my favourite.
I was with this girl and this was the second time we'd done it, so we're going (and going and going - opiates, eh?) so I'm just about to cum, pull out and aim for the face, and then proceeded to shoot my load while, in my best Jim Carrey voice, loudly and proudly shouting "HIGH HO SILVER, AWAYYYY!".
 
After my last back operation I realised that a combination of morphine and viagra made me last a LONG time...........giving my new girlfriend the impression that I was a super stud...........which unfortunately I'm not lol!!
 
Dread calm said:
I was about 16 and laying on my gf's bed getting a cracking bj, and right as i shot my bolt in her mouth her mum burst through the door. In shock my gf spat cum all over me leaving me laying there cock out covered in spunk in front of her mum. She just stared silently at us for about 5 seconds and walked back out. That was 14 years ago and when i see her mum now we STILL cant look each other in the eye.
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At least you didn't get it IN her eye.
 
Apparently I attempted sex with a sofa/couch one time when I was off me tits on XTC.
Fortunately for me I can't remember a thing and no-one took any pics or video.

I believe them though, but fucking a sofa/couch sounds difficult.

Result.
 
I had been smoking crack eatin benzos and having sex with this girl all night on my trampoline, and my friend jason comes by to pick up his cousin who was also at my place. Casually says "yo jordan, whats up man," there I am buck ass naked with her legs pinned up balls deep, just keep goin and turn my head around and say "just chillin" and continue on. It was kinda dark but he told me later he saw lol.
Well the next day after lots of sex, were going at it again, lots of IV coke and benzos. By this time were both rubbed pretty raw from the previous night.

im in the bench at the pool bathrooms and shes on top giving me a hand job. Well we were really opiated too so shes jackin me off hard. were kissin and Im fingering her, she was kinda being rough with the hand job, anyways I cum, feel a little pain and look down to see blood and cum. She had torn my foreskin:( not pretty. Then proceeds to tell me "oh wow you should get tested for STD's" as if this happened because I have a STD and not because she just tore my fuckin foreskin. im like BITCH YOU JUST TORE MY FORESKIN. talk about addin insult to injury lol. Lots of benzos were involved too.
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My homegirl told me she was with this dude who was fucking her missionary. and just kept pressing his face into hers, saying "are you gonna cum yet, are you almost gonna cum, are you gonna cum?' so she said "NO", got up, put her clothes on, and left. lol
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This past weekend I was messin with this black chick (first time with a black girl!). anyways after not being able to get it up at first, (too much suboxone the night before) she starts pouting "your cock doesnt like me, why dont you wanna fuck me, aww its ok if your not sexually attracted to me" like damn bitch, that kinda talk sure aint helping. so I fessed up bout the opiates and went down on her. She was more understanding once she got hers but still it was very uncomfortable situation.

Then she wants me to fuck her cause by now im hard, I look for my condoms... im out of condoms, just fuckin perfect:(, shes not happy bout it either. Then im fingering her and shes moaning not to stop, well my arms tired so I stuck my fingers in her mouth to wet em and tried to switch hands real quick. While switching hands I caught the side of my fingernail on her pussy and she yelped in pain. I felt bad, she jokingly said, "your on a roll today". She jacked me off forever and I came finally and we toked up.
so at least she came twice, I came last, roll the grass.

Ive since fucked her and all we made an arrangement to smoke and fuck all day on sundays so its all good. But embarrsing first time having her over. not being able to get hard, not having rubbers, then scratching her pussy.
 
When I was in high school me and my ex were getting wild at my moms apartment. She bent over infront of me and we started doing it doggy, when I looked down I couldnt tell if it was a shadow or a "poop shadow" at the bottom of her bung. So I pressed her ass cheeks together, and when I let go of them there was this green ring around her asshole. Omg so gross, haha. I stopped right there and was like "lets go take a shower"
 
My first time having sex, I was drunk and the girl was wasted, we found a room with a drunk kid in it but he was so passed out.

he started feeling her up and she didnt do anything, it was a drunk asshole move on my part.

Once I leave the room he does anal on her, she thought it was me. Things got bad. I still feel guilty.
 
Well in HS I was gonna fuck this super hot chick I had been hitting on at a party all night and I couldn't get it up cuz I was on a fuckload of xanax and oxy. Imagine a horny ass 17 year old about to have sex with a girl he's liked for years but just physically can't, It was devastating lol. Well the girl stayed over and we started to give it another go in the morning and what do you know, my dick doesn't fit in her pussy. I'm not bragging but for a short guy I'd say I'm packing some heat, at least a good 8 or more inches. She was beyond tight and when I got it in she was not enjoying it, I could see the hurt on her face so all in all it was a lame and embarrasing experience :p. We decided a to finish things off with a blowjob and we never bothered fooling around again. Never thought I'd say this but I wish she would've been rather loose, maybe she was made for 'smaller' guys, she did say all her ex's were way smaller than me so we were just 2 puzzle pieces that didn't fit. From that day on things were kinda awkward between us but we were still friends.
 
CaptainKratom said:
She was beyond tight and when I got it in she was not enjoying it, I could see the hurt on her face
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Don't think that's a tight pussy so much as anxiety/nervousness causing her muscles to contract, which would be painful for her.

Some of these stories are ace.. the big screen blowjob at the stadium made me chuckle. All i can offer is getting a huge queef straight in the gob when going down on my gf. Usually they're pretty hilarious and we laugh about them. Oh, and a queef-cumfart.. that's hilarious. Gross, but hilarious. There were no bubbles unfortunately.
 
It's more bizarre then anything else, I met a girl at work (I am a manager at a gas station, not a good idea to bang customers). Asked for her number, nice, cute blonde, all went well and we arranged to meet up at tim hortons for lunch the next day. We had lunch, she caught me staring at her tits, but her reaction was to wink at me and ask me to go back to her place, I gladly oblidged, and we got down pretty quick. When I was about to cum, I asked her if I could go on her face, she looked me in the eye and shook her head, not even saying a word. As soon as I'm done, she starts bawling hysterically, like a complete mental breakdown, just sitting there sobbing. I'm standing there butt naked and completely dumbfounded, I never experienced anything like that before.

She then told me "sorry, I can't do this anymore" and drove me home, crying the whole way, and I was completely blown away, I didn't say so much as a word, she dropped me off without saying anything, f'in awful man. I got a text from her later saying sorry and wanting to see me again, needless to say I didn't answer..
 
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