Sr. Mod: PD, TR, TDS, P&S
- Feb 8, 2006
- Shadowmeister v0
Good Golly Miss Molly... a Tale of DOPr
6.6mg of DOPr taken orally with a friend, on October 26th, 2019
6.6mg of DOPr taken orally with a friend, on October 26th, 2019
How can I begin to spin the grand yarn that is the story of my ingestion of 6.6mg of DOPr? I will attempt to recall as much detail and make as many observations as I can. I left my notes at the house I was tripping at, but they were fairly useless anyway, consisting of word mashes and such gems as "I can just fucking say that . music blah". I suppose I'll attempt to set the scene. Please keep in mind as I begin writing this, it is T+35:15 hours after the dose, and I am still enveloped in the mindstate, albeit on the tail end. I want to try to write the experience while still on the tail end to try to get the feeling more authentically. That said, let us begin shall we?
I woke up at 8am, Saturday morning, October the 26th, in the rather intense year of 2019. This particular day, I had made plans that I was excited about and ready for, to go to my band's house, which is on 200 acres of an incredibly gorgeous nature wonderland. My guitar player, who I shall refer to as Zach, since it is his name, and his girlfriend Clara, and our bass player, Hector, all live there. Clara is an animal rescuer, so there are a ton of amazing animals. My favorite is the wolf dog. He's 60% gray wolf. He's huge and looks just like a wolf and most of his mannerisms are of a wolf. He is reserved and shy, like the wolves I met when I camped at a wolf sanctuary in Colorado. I have won his love and it makes me feel so special because he is a majestic and wonderfully sweet and beautiful boy. There are also I think now 8 tropical birds, most of whom talk... Clara is a bird person, she has a crazy connection with them. As a result I've begun to understand birds and begin to have relationsips with them for the first time which is cool. There's another lovely dog, and a bunch of chickens, a goose with malformed wings that is really sweet, some possums she is working on releasing back into the wild, and finally, two really cute and sweet pigs.
Besides that, the house itself is amazing. And the vibes are always great, we make some wonderful music there. There are also a lot of trails covering the 200 acres. I mention all of this to paint a picture of the setting, which is idyllic and beautiful with a lot of input and things to do.
So, the plan was that Hector and I would trip at the house; he has become my most often and preferred tripping buddy because he and I have the same relationship to psychedelics and he has quickly come to feel like a little brother to me, I love him very much, he's on of my favorite people, and favorite musicians to play with. Anyway, the plan was that I was going to show up at 10am and we were going to take DOPr. It was Hector's first time taking a psychedelic amphetamine but he was very much down with trying something that very few people have sampled. When I arrived, he was still sleeping so I eventually woke him up and we decided on dosages. After consulting with my compadre, I decided to give him 5mg, and myself 6.6mg. Why 6.6? Honestly I love sixes and it was two sixes. Seemed better than 6.5. In reality it was probably indistinguishable. Also in reality, it was a very strong dose. But I was ready for that. The company couldn't have been better. The setting couldn't have been better. We planned to go hiking around once it started to come up, and eventually play music.
So we took it at 10:30am, the oft-quoted T+0:00. The drop. Into the mouth it went. It tasted of alcohol pretty much, what was what I expected since I made the solution with alcohol to prevent microbial growth over time. We knew it was going to take a while to peak and probably a while to even come on, so we made ourselves comfortable. I smoked a single hit of weed and Hector took several dabs. he is constantly smoking dabs so it was normal for him. Also as an aside, but a very relavant aside, Hector loves, I mean loves, his nitrous. He picked up a 50 box for us. We didn't break into that yet though. What we did was listen to some music and waited for the effects to begin. Around 45 minutes in, if I recall (don't have my time stamp notes at the moment but hey I theoretically have a memory, right?), I noted first alerts. Just a very relaxing, euphoric feeling body energy shift, a sign of things to come. A slight euphoric tone. Hector and I both felt the the onset of first effects at the same time... in fact, though he took a bit less, he and I were remarkably on the level the whole time, there was very much a sort of group trip mindstate, we were both tapping into the same place and at some point (later on), being in each other's heads. But more on that later.
The effects slowly built. We were starting to feel good and we started just talking about everything we could talk about. This continued unabated throughout the entire trip, was was one of my favorite things about it. It's something I have come to associate with the DOX class of drugs. It was very similar to DOC converations at this point, where absolutely anything our minds touched on we wanted to delve into the inner workings of, which was very satifying, and then some tangent would happen and the topic would evolve, but there was never any lull in conversation. After about 2 hours, or maybe an hour 45, we both started to get some visuals. I had been getting some suggestion of movement before this, but at this point we both just stopped and remarked that the visuals were starting and that we could tell it was going to be an intense visual experience. And let me tell you, we were right! Very quickly from then, surprisingly quickly, the visuals grew until they were fully not ignorable at all. I wasn't seeing colors so much, although colors stood out remarkably and beautifully, subtle shade variations in a color spectrum vibrantly stood out as separate colors. It was very mescaline-like in that way. But that was where the comparison to mescaline visuals ends. DOPr's visuals consist of absolutely everything in your field of vision rippling with tiny waves. At first it was just a pretty effet, but soon I began to realize that I was seeing afterimages (or pre-images really), layering many times, stacks on stacks, on everything, It was like I could see the potential movement of everything. My hand would be still, but I saw all these different iterations of how it could move, overlaid in many layers over the top of my hand. It was a very cool and unique effect. The visuals differ very much from DOC's visuals, it's an entire other sort of visual. And also much more powerfully visual.
At this point, it's been a good 2 and half hours, and the trip is quite kicked in. I feel so relaxed. The body feeling is not edgy at all, and it reminds both Hector and I of MDMA in the body, kind of. Not as intense, but similarly entactogenic. We're both in a fantastic mood. The drug seems to want to make us close our eyes and then get carried into into a trance. The closed eye visuals are quite intense but for me, though at least up to this point, they don't seem meaningful, it's just a jumble of shapes and colors flowing around, not really responding to the music. Although we both feel that the drug is offering us a seductive chance to be hypnotized by it, we don't feel that we have to follow that, and we don't. We opt to continue the endless but immensely gratifying endless conversation about Life, the Universe, and Everything.
After a bit we decided we wanted to go hiking around and exploring. We walked outside and started talking to Zach who always assumes a bit of a "dad" role, he is the guy who always takes care of everyone, is the responsible one, and so on. He told us about a trail with a "big waterfall", which sounded great, so off we went with a can of bear spray. None of us are worried about the bears, they're not aggressive. But apparently a guy right down the street showed him footage of a mountain lion on his property. As a brief aside, in my region the "official" position is there are no more mountain lions anywhere in the Appalachians. However everyone who lives here knows it's not entirely true. There are some. My girlfriend's dad explained to me why they stubbornly cling to there being none. It's because if they admit they exist, they'd be protected as endangered, as well as their ecosystem, so it would make logging there illegal. And logging is big business. It's really quite shady.
Anyway off we went. I noticed that I was really quite intoxicated, in fact substantially so. With DOC, I don't get intoxicated from the trip. Instead I feel very on point, well balanced, very in control of my body and in fact feeling even more in control than usual. Not so with DOPr, at all. My equilibrium was off. It felt very similar to being on a boat at sea. It felt like the earth was rocking back and forth beneath me, so my balance was not very good. I sometimes found myself bracing myself and wobbling. Of course, I say intoxicated, and it was absolutely true, but I don't mean that negatively in any way. It added to the feeling of really being on a trip, of being taken over by this force that is DOPr.
At this point the visuals kicked in on another level, too. Everywhere we looked was absolutely gorgeous fall colors. Everything was moving... I mean it was actually, since it's nature. But everything appeared to be in a state of constant flux, huge layers of potential movements everywhere I looked. It began to get hard to understand what I was seeing sometimes. We were walking up the trail, and I would have to stop and gather myself because I literally couldn't see where I was about to step. Along with this, I begin to get large-scale perspective shifting. There was no breathing of objects, it was more like as I looked out in the distance, entire large frames of what I saw were shifting, sliding left or right, or rotating just slightly. At one point we find some turkey tail mushrooms, and Hector wants to take a picture, so I do. The mushrooms were an extra cool variety, they had these almost iridescent purple outer edges. Absolutely gorgeous.
Finally we make it to the waterfall. It's a bit anticlimatic (for me), because when someone says big waterfall I imagine a big waterfall. But it was just two tiny waterfalls forming a multi-level little thing, which is cool but barely qualifies as a "waterfall" for me. At this point we're both quite sweaty since the hike was quite steeply uphill and kinda not really on a trail after a while. We stop to catch our breath and reflect on where we're at. We start looking closely at everything because everything is so striking and beautiful looking. I keep noticing that there is a certain blue color, a sort of sky blue color, that I'm seeing on rocks, and a few plants. That particular color, for me, is super saturated, but the interesting thing is that it looks "fuzzy", like there is some literal fuzz growing out of it; I was relatively convinced it was mycelium but when I touched it, it was just regular hard rock.
On the way back down, we start talking about Paul Stamets (he came up through the trip as did mushrooms as a topic). Hector told me about Paul's first mushroom trip, where he eats like an ounce and climbs a big tree during the trip and peaks in the tree, and then a storm blew in, and he was like, holy fuck, I'm in a tree in a storm on a shit ton of mushrooms! He tried to get down but couldn't, and then it started storming in earnest, and lightning all around. He became sure he was going to die. So he thought to himself, "self, what do I wish I could fix?" Well, turns out he had a really bad stutter his whole life. So he said if he's allowed to live, he won't have a stutter anymore. Well, the storm blew over, he didn't die, he came down out of the tree, having passed the peak. He went home, thought on it, and slept. Then the next day, he started talking to people, and no stutter... he couldn't even make himself stutter if he tried. And that was the end of his stutter forever. Such a cool experience, and a cool story to hear (and tell).
We gradually make our way back to the house, discussing a million tangents from the Paul Stamets story. When we get back to the house, it's somewhere between 3 and 4 hours in, probably about 2:30pm, and Hector and I both feel like the peak is starting. The feeling of hypnotic suggestion is strong. For a minute we both close our eyes and really start to sink in. It's very easy to get carried away. It almost feels like sleep in a way but a conscious sleep, more like meditation except like not fully conscious, also not by choice, the drug was hypnotizing us into it. I feel very much suddenly that we should play music. Music was very clearly the thing to be doing to me right then. I think I had a hunch that this hypnotizing force had the ability to facilitate a flow state with music. I was very right, it turns out. Fortunately, Hector had been about to suggest the same thing, and right when we were about to walk out there, we heard Zach start playing guitar, which, we determined, only further proved that the time was right for playing music.
We got out there, and started sort of just warming up, getting a feel for each other. As a bit of history/relevant fact, Zach very rarely trips these days. But he knew of our journey, and he has this amazing ability to connect to the trip when we play music, and really get in there with us musically. As I got into playing, I began to really feel the motion of this drug in my body. It manifests itself as a slowly waving branch. I start to feel this so strongly that I feel I am the branch. I close my eyes and keep playing just by feel. I see the visual behind my closed eyes of a slowly swaying limb, blown by a breeze. And connected to the branch are a million little leaves, and the leaves are being rustled by the same breeze but much more rapidly. But they are connected to the branch, they are part of the movement of the branch. And in fact, they are perfectly in sync with the slower rhythm on the branch, forming an endlessly rapid intertwining counterpoint. I suddenly understand the rhythm that is happening. I had the realization, a number of years ago while listening to Santana, that any rhythm, no matter how swingy or odd or in a weird time signature it is, can be broken down to where each note of the beat will occur on a "timeline" of equivalently spaced beats. Sometimes you might have to subdivide into 64th notes, or 128th, or whatever. But underlying absolutely any rhythm you could possibly imagine, there is the existence of an evenly subdivided sequence of beats.
Well, I have realized it intellectually before and brought some of that into my playing, but all of a sudden, I felt imbued with something, it wasn't exactly like a presence controlling me, because I was controlling it. But there was something there that was inhabiting my body, and teaching me, both music to play and the muscle memory to do it. I began playing in a way I have never been able to or even quite imagined, but it was a bringing forth of that rhythmic knowledge into my actual playing, with great technique and creativity. As soon as we got on that, Hector and especially Zach clicked into the same thing, I felt it click and we all looked at each other with kind of wide eyes. Later I talked to Hector about it and he felt a very similar experience. It felt like we were channeling something but at the same time, it was crafted to our sound and based on the work we had already done together, so it was more like we were channeling an energy field or awareness that was highly instructional, and communicating with all of us, we were all having the same conversation.
What follows is the most profound and deep music flow I have ever been on, sober or on any drug. It was no-fail zone: if you're a musician, maybe you know what I mean. It's where you're playing so comfortably, and you've got the vibes down perfectly and you just know that every note you play is going to work. Even a mistake, a flubbed or missed note, is taken and evolved and so instead of a mistake, it's a happy accident that evolves the music. We proceeded to (without any speaking to each other even one time the entire jam session, which was about 5 hours in total) play some older songs and evolve them into by far the best they've ever sounded. The presence was teaching me a lot about playing proper blues piano. It's something I have admired but I had never figured out some of those movements, and particularly using the left hand as a constant walking bass line, rather than being chord support. And now I suddenly knew (and still know) how to do it. The evolution in material that was happening was amazing, and wordless, and so right on, and levels above what we've previously done. We also came up with a lot of new material, not fully written out songs but great raw material to work with. A few places we touched on in particular were verging on, or in some cases, fully breaking through, into what I can only describe as the feeling of the heartbeat of the universe. And then I started to realize, wait, I understand how to play this feeling, the chord changes and types of rhythms to produce that incredibly deep-hitting universal beat.
But I also felt the pain of the world today, the deep, deep hurt and brokenness and fear. I felt and understood the horrible, toxic public story, different for different groups but all based on fear, creating a terribly disaffected and jaded population. I felt the suicidal nature of civilization, the imploding of it, the mass shootings, the bombings, the terrorism, quite literally people killing themselves to kill as many people as possible. I understood the rhetoric, the terrible story being perpetuated every day. For these people, the fear manifests as hate, gibbering fear hidden behind aggression and rage. We are being fed hate and anger and fear, and eating it up. I realized that it doesn't matter who we elect, ultimately. The change has to happen from within, we have to save ourselves. And I realized that this universal heartbeat vibe, it touches people. It taps people into a primordial place, a group mind place, a place of understanding and wonder and love. A place of authentic feeling and thought, unobstructed by appeals to the ego. With this music, we can help people. This music is healing, it is primordial and powerful. And not only that, but as I looked up at Zach and Hector, I see they see it too, we're staring at each other wide-eyed. And we all play it together, and slowly intensify it, and reach some otherworldly climaxes that evoke grief and excitement and love and sex and tripping, and space and the universe, and atoms and molecules, touching on deep shared consciousness stuff. I openly wept as it arrived, it was so incredibly cathartic and profound and even in the moment deeply healing for me. I sobbed in a weird combination of grief and absolute ecstasy and also some amount of being just simply overwhelmed by what was happening. It was the most beautiful thing imaginable, the most beautiful we have ever played together, the most beautiful I have played personally. The most I have felt my and our power before. We were wielding medicine.
At this point, I have an intense music high the heights of which had never previously been achieved by me. The feeling coursing through my body is absolutely overwhelming, orgasmic in its intensity, very pleasurable, but strong, oh so strong. At this point my visuals are so overwhelming that everything I was seeing was moving its possible movements and in so many layers that it didn't even look real, everything had an intensely psychedelic infinite depth of patterning. It was like my vision was the painting on the cover of Santana's album Abraxus, it gave everything that look. Actually that album cover (which, I discovered the same night night, is a fucking incredible and mind-blowing piece of art) gives a good representation of how the visual display was during the peak. I began seeing the possible movements of my hands when I looked down, began to see the moves I was about to make, or could be about to make. I could just follow a guide to find out what I was supposed to learn. And that's what I did.
Periodically we'd stop for a second and look up at each other like, "is this really happening right now?". After a number of hours, I started to periodically feel like I needed to chill out because my heart was pounding and my brain was almost overexcited. I get very strong music highs when I'm feeling the music, it's legitimately an altered state. It's great during the music, but as soon as the music stops, It's like my brain explodes with thought and it's too much, I start pacing, and can't talk to people, it's intense. And that's when I'm totally sober, it's just from the music. So peaking on 6.6mg of DOPr was extremely intense. Zach put the guitar down eventually and Hector and I decided we needed to chill out. So we sort of semi-awkwardly left Zach in the living room and went to Hector's room.
It was at that point that we remembered that we had nitrous.
Let me flesh out another bit of back-story. Hector really likes nitrous. His entire room is full of empty boxes and empty bulbs. He told me earlier this same trip that he was saving all of the used ones because it seems like a lot of waste, but that he also organizes them by color. Dude will keep doing it for a while once he starts. It's far from the worst I've seen and it seems pretty chill for him, but we are definitely in a routine nitrous user's room. After he does one, I crack 2 into the charger. We have some nice big balloons, so I blow it all out into the balloon. Take a few deep breaths. Start inhaling, breathe in and out a few times. The body buzz is getting really intense. And then, the thing happens. Every time I do nitrous on psychedelics, I continue on from the last time. And for just a majestic, rather lingering moment, it's like I know both the question and the answer and it is the answer to existence, it is the reason, or something. It's impossible to explain even though it feels like the clearest knowledge in the world. And then I hold it as long as I can, and then it starts to recede and I realize a bunch of things that somehow seem like the signposts for how this experience is coinciding with the past times, but I'm a little closer to finally reconstructing the pathway to that understanding. And then I am filled with the urge to proclaim that I have it this time, oh yes, this time I remember how to describe it. And then I can't and I'm like, "god damn it! Fucking nitrous! What the fuck?? Nitrous is a crazy drug, bruh!"
Well, that happened, more drawn out and clear that it had ever been before. I existed in that state for a solid minute probably (maybe, who fucking knows honestly, it was probably seconds for all I know), and then it faded. After much exclaiming, I did another two. This time, I started to feel this thing I feel with inhaling nitrous. Even though we were using balloons, it seemed like shit was getting in my lungs and somewhat suffocating me. It actually makes my throat start phlegming up. I was feeling that really bad feeling and it was scaring me to take big hits, or inhale too fast. It still just felt bad. But I was willing to pay the price for revisiting The Peak! So sally forth, said I. I did several inhales, exhales, rebreathing... feeling slightly suffocated, I started to fade into the Place. But with every subsequent time, it gets less clear, for me. Like I remember less of it and it is less poignant and memorable (haha!). This time, I suddenly thought my eyes were closed but realized they were wide open. I had a vague sensation that I had been about to do a blast. Did I do that? Or am I still waiting to do it? I could not remember. I began to feel like I had time traveled, and hit it, because I vaguely thought I remembered actually doing it, but thought that I hadn't done it, leading to me to the conclusion that I had done it, but had also time traveled back from before I did it. It made me start questioning reality as I started to come back. But relatively soon I chuckled... that one was just kind of silly.
Despite my lungs being all phlegmy, and a feeling of being able to not quite take a fully satisfying breath, I decide to do it one more time. Meanwhile Hector basically has a balloon constantly, and slowly breathes it in and out, and then waits, and does it again, and cracks another in there sometimes. He's trying to keep up a steady low stream, which is something I never thought to do. He later explains to me that in this way he gets a lot of stuff happening and he gets like a half hour to let it develop and learn its parameters. I want to try this, but I didn't last night. But I did very slowly inhale on it because my lungs were freaking me out. I started to notice that the background sounds of the room were actually talking, they were often very silly voices saying something, sometimes words, sometimes gibberish. It was the craziest thing, I felt like there were beings in there talking to me, or maybe each other. Later Hector said he had the same experience at that time, with the background sounds becoming voices talking to him, but he experienced it over the course of a half hour whereas mine was all in a moment that was over in the blink of an eye. But in this case, I actually am able to remember the experience, I mean I remember the gist of it, and image flashes.
Interlude. Trigger old-timey intermission music as curtain descends
I've made a cool observation which has led to some real learning and since I have not slept since this experience, I am still having this experience and therefore I would be remiss in my duties as an experience custodian to not make note of my observation. I realize I am recalling the details of the night with a lot of clarity. I realized that by writing the entries in my notes during the trip, I'm creating little memory hooks. Normally I do this throughout a trip, and use them to remember things that at the time I wished to be able to remember and communicate later. But simply by taking the time to write them, I am basically stopping and stepping back and making a mental note to remember this. But my notes were all absolute nonsense. A few badly typed words, an exclamation. Furthermore, my notes are not even here right now. So I realized I could simply take that little moment to myself, make a mental snapshot, and not have to actually write something, and it will be as effective. Writing something always interrupts whatever was happening anyway. That will be a valuable tool in the future.
Curtain raises. Trigger dramatic loud orchestra hit
At this point, I'm done with nitrous because I'm creeped out by the feeling in my lungs. Hector starts to come back. We each cracked open a beer from the beers I brought. I continued to slowly drink beer throughout the night, having 8 by the end (over about 8 hours). I finally felt as if maybe the peak was over and it was into the plateau just a bit, and on DOX's, DOC anyway (and, it turns out, DOPr too), alcohol mixes very well in moderate and steady amounts. It relaxes you into the experience and feeds into the euphoria and hilarity of the fantastic plateau stage that is to become your life for the next long while. We begin to laugh a lot, and continue unabated our endless conversation that was the near-constant of the whole experience. The running theme of the night ended up being that one or the other of us would start getting really passionate in explaining what we were thinking of or realizing, and then would start to get tongue-tied and just sort of awkwardly stop and be like, so... yeah. And we'd laugh but it was crazy because we always understood each other perfectly even if something was totally left unsaid. One of the things I think is really unique and cool about DOPr, and absolutely fascinating, is this connection to a group mind space. We knew what the other was feeling and thinking, we wanted the same things at the same time and knew that they were the things to do. It was really cool, but also very natural, like it was just normal that we knew what each other was thinking.
At this point it's around 9:15pm, which is almost T+11:00 from dosing. It is as strong as it's ever been, not stronger than at the music playing peak, but just as strong. The visuals were totally overwhelming, in the best way, but unrelenting. I felt like everything I looked at, my eyes were trying to suck it in and see everything about it, to greater and greater depths of texture. Like my eyes were swallowing it. I went outside to smoke a cigarette to gather myself for a second. The stars are absolutely gorgeous, so bright, and they look like they're right there, like I could touch them. At this point I have something happening that happens to me only on empathogens, like 3/4-MMC, MDMA, MDA, AMT, etc. It's this thing where it's like the same kind of muscles involved in yawns, up around your ears, are shifting because of involuntary muscle contractions and it opens up a channel by pushing at the inner ear, where it sounds like a deep whooshing in your ear and it's almost kind of orgasmic feeling. But also totally uncontrollable. I'm getting this effect as I'm smoking the cigarette. My body feeling from the DOPr more or less exactly resembles the body high of nice empathogens. How fantastic.
After the cigarette, I went back inside. Hector and I kept talking, and talked about relationship PTSD a good bit. Hector recently had a really fucked up experience with a girlfriend where she was in a manic episode and went fucking nuts and traumatized him, physical and emotional abuse and also the shock of seeing her psychotic behavior. So whenever we trip it comes up, pretty much. I have been through an abusive relationship too, and he knows this, so I've also shared a lot with him. It allows him to get someone's perspective who has been there, and also just to get it out to someone who will treat it safely. He has had a lot of people in his life basically tell him that he's being misogynistic by saying that he got abused by a woman. It's kinda fucked him up because he feels like he's not allowed to feel the way he does. It's pretty messed up and I will always do whatever I can to help him heal from that, because I love Hector, he feels like part of my family even though we've only known each for like a half a year, actually less than that.
At around 10:30pm, 12 hours after dosing, Zach came in and asked if he could smoke a hit of weed (I had been smoking one hit every couple of hours for most of the trip, by the way, which is unusual for me these days but DOPr was so friendly that I was not concerned about weed giving me anxiety). Then Clara came in, and we all had a nice chill together for a while before the two of them went to bed. Her dog, Eva, came in to hang out. She's a super affectionate dog, she is one of those dogs who would like nothing more than to put her tongue in your mouth. She's just waiting for an opportunity, always, to slip that tongue in. If given the chance, she will descend to licking your face non-stop as long as you let her. Well, Hector let her do it and was curled up giggling from it. And Eva started to get really intense about the licking. She was tackling him and licking furiously. Eventually he started pushing her off and telling her no, and she'd lunge back into it. It started to feel a little rapey, and me and Hector laughed uncontrollably because of how we had just been talking about abuse of men by women in relationships, even physical violence. And here is the dog nonconsentually forcing herself upon him. Amidst hysterical, breathless laughter, Hector finally got her to chill, he's got his arm on her to hold her back. And then she gets the urge again and looks deep into his eyes and starts literally gently massaging his arm with her paw. As if to say "come on baby, let's go, no it's okay, yeah just let it happen, that's it". It was too much, all four of us died laughing for a good five minutes.
Interlude. No triggering of old timey interlude music because that meme has already been played out and the band is getting tired
So here I am, at 2:06am, which is almost T+40:00 since ingestion. And I'm still humming along. I actually feel less tired than I did many hours ago, somehow. I am still filled with good cheer and feeling playful. However, I just realized that tomorrow is not Sunday, as I had been thinking, since I dosed on Saturday morning and the past two days are one day to me. But in fact it is Monday tomorrow, and I have to work. I could stretch it and if I went to bed this minute, I could get about 8 hours of sleep. Of course I can't sleep right now. But I'm going to take some etizolam, so I can get tired and sleep soon. I will simply be too hot to handle at work if I don't get some sleep, which I feel like I could do at this point and am tempted to... but responsibility wins out. Damn you adulthood! You and your stupid rules and bedtimes and responsibilities. But yeah I still have an occasional visual. Absurd. This is the drug you want to do if you just always thought DOC was too gosh darn short.
I will shortly take 2mg of etizolam and hope it's enough to knock me out. And I'll finish writing this obscenely long tale about an obscenely long drug in the morning.
Continuing on several days later
After a bit, Zach and Clara went to bed. As the night wore on, Hector and I kept up the fun and great conversations. We watched all kinds of videos about various things, from planting trees, to disturbing psychedelic themed mumble rap. Hector did more nitrous periodically, and I didn't. I did keep gradually drinking beers, and so did he. I'm not going to outline everything because this report will never end, but it basically amounted to more of the same. I was in a plateau stage every bit as good as DOC's plateau, but trippier, more visual, and wonkier. We were both talking and laughing and feeling amazement a lot. I kept having the inner ear whooshing thing, especially when I was smoking cigarettes. At one point I went outside, sometime around 4am (T+17:30), and the stars were incredible... you can see just about everything out there, and they were hanging in the sky, looking like I could reach for them and gather them in my arms, so near, arrayed in 3 dimensional space before me. We also talked about salvia a lot, as Hector recently did it a few times and counts it as his most realistic and mind-blowing set of trips ever.
Eventually, at around 6am (T+19:30), Hector announced that he was going to lay down and close his eyes and try to rest. He said he didn't think he was going to be able to sleep, but he fell asleep almost immediately. I laid down too, but it was obvious to me I would not be able to sleep, and I didn't want to, anyway. I tried typing some notes, and listened to music, and spaced out, and before I knew it, it was dawn. It was getting really hot in the room, because Hector was chilly all night and had a fire going in the wood stove, and it was actually really not cold out at all. I went outside, and was slammed by the beauty of the morning. The colors of the Fall were exhilarating, just so saturated and pleasurable to look at. I went around to say hi to all the animals. I spent some time with the pigs and gave them some food. Mostly I went and sat by the chicken houses. There are a bunch of different kinds of chickens and a goose. They're so pretty, and really fun to watch. The chickens were warily keeping an eye on me, but the goose was shyly looking at me looked like she wanted to make my acquaintance, but was too bashful. I stared at animals and nature, walked around, checked my blood alcohol level (0.062% ), and found the little spot of reception they have there and texted my friends, and got into a hilarious trippy conversation with my friend, where at one point I declared that my new solo music project's name is Quad Blaster Mole Fingers, on account of the two extra arms I grew as a result of the DOPr entity, combined with my prowess on the keys and with the ladies. In retrospect I would say I was fairly hypomanic at this point (and also while writing the majority of this report), and I really wanted to make myself and other people laugh.
After a while I went back inside, and Hector still wasn't awake yet, and everyone else was gone. So I turned on my keyboard rig and played by myself for about an hour and a half. I reviewed some of the things I had learned/been taught the day before, and yep, still got it. I started playing and letting my mind wander, and got lost in a world of piano and delay and synthesizer. Even then, over T+24 hours later, DOPr is still the best music playing enhancer I've ever experienced.
But finally, my back started to really hurt from all the playing, and Hector still hadn't woken up, and I realized that I was ravenously hungry, and pretty much ready to get back home and relax and unwind. And eat a lot of food. I checked my blood alcohol level again... 0.011. Then 0.009. Then 0.010, so totally good to go. I packed up all of my stuff and drove away. I walked all around the house a good three times, because I felt scattered and like I was forgetting something, but at last I determined I had everything. Only to realize halfway home that I'd left my computer. Driving was fine, it was 2:30pm (T+28:00) when I left, and although my vision was still very saturated, there were no more visuals (those died around T+24, maybe T+25). I listened to NPR on the radio for the hour it took me to get back (plus get food at Cookout). I found the program very enjoyable, it was a game involving wordplay and the people were really funny. The food was a disappointment, I forgot that the Cookout on that side of town sucks. I didn't quite finish the food, it seemed poorly made. I ate some various snacks besides that.
Basically for the rest of the night, I did a little Bluelighting, and wrote the bulk of this report, and drank a few more beers to relax. I was feeling very loose and jovial, but also increasingly tired (which was my goal with the beer). But my thoughts were somewhat trippy until I went to bed, which was around T+40 hours (about 2:30am Sunday night/Monday morning). I took etizolam to ensure I'd really sleep because I wasn't even feeling sleepy despite the fatigue, and it worked, but the next day I was exhausted and groggy for the first hour or so after waking up. That day I didn't do much, I mean I worked but I put minimal effort into it, and watched TV later in the day and just felt a bit fried from lack of sleep. But then the day after that, I had band practice (with my other band) and was well-rested. I didn't do any drugs but to my great pleasure, I found myself right back in that DOPr-inspired flow. I was playing things with ease that I couldn't before, and feeling intensely creative. We recorded the practice and I'm so glad because it was all jams with our new bass player. There's a lot of great raw material to work with there.
I was absolutely blown away by DOPr. 6.6mg was very strong, but it was so full-spectrum, comfortable, and satisfying. I can't help but compare it to DOC. They have a lot of similarities, but DOPr is a much deeper psychedelic, and much more intoxicating. Also more visual. The group consciousness level it opened us to was not quite like anything else I've ever experienced, and it was amazing and profound and seemingly very real, very present and available. Days later Hector and I talked about it and we both very actively felt that way for the whole trip, especially the peak. We also both felt the same way about our musical experience on it. DOC is very enabling and confidence-boosting, crisp and earthy and wise in its insights about human nature. DOPr was warm and friendly, but felt like some sort of ancient celestial force, very abstract, subliminal, highly intoxicating, mesmerizing. The body feeling for a while during the peak and post-peak was intensely pleasurable, very at home in the body, and entactogenic, even causing some nystagmus. My mood was very euphoric, I had a perma-grin plastered all over my face. When my eyes were closed I could hardly tell whether they were open or closed because the visuals were so strong and I'd drift so far away, I'd forget what I was seeing or where I was. The visual experience really was something else.
It is now Wednesday, 4 days after the trip ended, and I am still reflecting on it with awe and a great glow. I actually pulled something very useful out of the trip, the musical learning. As an avid lover of DOC, I would say that I liked this trip more than almost any DOC trip or indeed, almost any other trip I've ever had. The one big downside is the duration. This stuff lasts a LONG time... I still had mental effects at 40 hours, as you could likely tell from the tone of the writing of the report. It definitely took a lot out of me because of that. But I rate DOPr at this dose among the very highest quality experiences I've ever had. For the entire day afterwards, I was extremely engaged with whatever I thought about, and I found myself crying easily, my emotions just felt very intense, in a predominantly positive direction. I saw Hector today and he says that, at 5mg, this was without a doubt his best RC psychedelic experience of his life, and it has only been matched by a few particularly impactful trips from his past. I think that says a lot.
DOPr is an intense, wild gem of a psychedelic. I am truly thankful to have been blessed with the opportunity to get a lifetime supply of it, and I hope all of you appreciators of psychedelics one day have the opportunity to try it, too.
Tagged by Xorkoth