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Depersonalization

thegreenhand

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Aug 16, 2019
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America's butthole
I’ve been feeling rather not myself lately. Like my thoughts aren’t really me sometimes. I have a feeling like this is due to my psychedelic usage. I used mushrooms two weeks ago and then also a month before that. Both trips were great and nothing went wrong during them. I had a very difficult/psychosis inducing LSD + weed trip about 3 months ago. Interestingly after that trip my mind was much calmer and I felt like I was reset entirely. Unfortunately I fell into heavy weed usage (perhaps to cope with thinking about that LSD trip) and lost all that progress. I’ve been trying to quit and I haven’t smoked weed in 49 days according to my day counter (after the first mushroom trip). I felt great at first during the sobriety but now I feel like I did before. Not myself and scared of my thoughts.

I’m not looking for advice really as I know that an extended period of sobriety coupled with meditation is what will be best for me. I just wanted to create a space for people to share their stories of depersonalization after psychedelic/drug use. HPPD sufferers are welcome to share their stories too.
 

thegreenhand

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Aug 16, 2019
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America's butthole
So you're scared that you unlocked your brain potential?
No. And no offense but the typical sarcasm you bring doesn't really do much good here.

It's not a particularly uncommon phenomenon to feel this way after heavy psychedelic usage, at least in talking with friends irl. I didn't mention that I have used these drugs for a couple years. I only included the ones particularly relevant to my current situation.

And I would counter that perhaps drugs only give the illusion of your full brain potential. Not saying they haven't helped me in many ways but let's not act like these are infallible compounds
 

WLM6060

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Jun 29, 2020
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104
Max I've done is 400 ug and 5 g of mushrooms. For the trips in the OP it was 350 ug + a massive joint, and 2 g of mushroooms for the latter two.


Okay those aren't that big of a dosage are you known to have depression honestly it might be because your smoking weed while tripping weed can do that for me when I smoke weed while I'm tripping the weed greatly intensifies the psychedelic (this happens with every psychedelic ive ever tried) ive known people who had the same problem uour having and they blamed it on weed so id try smoking a couple of hours before tripping or not at all that whole day not even after the trip is over when you do psychedelics you want as little as possible happening in the brain that way the brain can work properly with the psychedelic when you trip on anything there's alot going on in the brain
 
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TripSitterNZ

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May 6, 2019
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The Dimension of LSD-25
Lay off weed for a long time maybe up to 8-10 months after a a near psychotic bad LSD trip. Also take a break from any more psychedelics for probably 10 months to a year aswell and you will come back. Take up meditation and walking in nature and read about the self.

Seeing through the veil can be hard to return to normal life for a while.

I have been through this many times during periods of heavy LSD use.
 

PYTH

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Joined
Aug 23, 2019
Messages
216
I'm not sure I have a good handle on depersonalization, when I have a bad trip I feel more inside my own person than ever I'd say, which includes dwelling on all the horror, trauma, and personal failure... especially ways I've let people down or unintentionally harmed them. It's like being agressively self aware to a point I wish I weren't.

Weed interacts with psychedelics in a really strange way, tons of people love the combo but I think it's extremely bad news and have had a couple of truly dire experiences. Weed's also well known for re-triggering psychedelic-derived HPPD, though I haven't experienced that myself.
 

nuube

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Jul 20, 2015
Messages
497
I am a little confused on the OP. They state they had a difficult experience then 2 successful and enjoyable trips after. When did the issues start? If they began after the first trip I would have imagined the following ones would have exacerbated it. If they began after the 2 good trips then why? You say you feel into cannabis use to deal with the difficult experience - why? You say you were calmer and reset entirely, surely that is good and you wouldn't then need cannabis for the experience.

I use cannabis for pain management on a daily basis and as such don't perceive any high. When I take psychedelics I try my best to avoid prescribed opioids as they dull the trip to much for me and try and rely on cannabis only.

When using large amounts of cannabis during a trip they can really through your head space out. If I have had a hard trip, (a difficult experience marked with fear and anxiety), then smoking heavily or even moderately afterwards can rush me back into that space. I've come to actually enjoy the little denationalisation I experience, it is only mild and transient.

If you don't mind me saying the OP feels very confused. I wont offer you advice as you say you don't want it but for others that come along here I would second what others have said and avoid the cannabis for an extended period. After normality has been resumed and maintained for an extended period if the desire/need to use cannabis is there then start small and be prepared to stop again. In the mean time eat healthy exercise meditate and develop an interest in the condition. The interest puts a little distance in there and can allow a quicker recovery as you aren't identifying with all the strangeness.
 

dopamimetic

Moderator: N&PD
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abyss of sobriety
Cannabis can be heavily pro-psychotic for some, it is for me and this scared me off tripping for years to find out that serotonergic psychedelics are very different and I tolerate them. If I was a doctor, I'd suggest to stay off weed and try an anxiolytic (benzo, pregabalin) for 1-2 weeks to let things settle down.
 

schizopath

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May 10, 2019
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Dimension XYZÖ
Have you ever tried Ayahuasca? not by yourself, with shamans. I heard they have a big cure potential and I saw with my own eyes. Now I don't wanna force your hand but I just wanted to kick this one.
I have tried pharmahuasca. Its pretty much the same but long lasting. Had godlike amazing 3 hours and horrible horrible 3 hours. I did too much so my mistake :/
 

pupnik

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Dec 24, 2013
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holy JEEESUS!

this is supposed to happen: as you experience expanded awareness, you see things that are normally ignored, tons of things that are 'non-essential' but part of your regular day.

that is good.

worrying that you are not you because of all this unfamiliarity is natural, but in context of expanded awareness it can be troubling if you thought you knew who you were before.

the truth is you do not really know who you are, and you probably need to do drugs more often until you get a better sense of what it is to be human, alive, in love, in pain, on lockdown or any of a number of other things that are just not becoming clear;
or, stay away from drugs and just don't worry about it.
 

thegreenhand

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Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Messages
398
Location
America's butthole
Cannabis can be heavily pro-psychotic for some, it is for me and this scared me off tripping for years to find out that serotonergic psychedelics are very different and I tolerate them. If I was a doctor, I'd suggest to stay off weed and try an anxiolytic (benzo, pregabalin) for 1-2 weeks to let things settle down.
Yeah I've been off weed for 1.5 months now I have no plans to go back to it
 

thegreenhand

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Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Messages
398
Location
America's butthole
Lay off weed for a long time maybe up to 8-10 months after a a near psychotic bad LSD trip. Also take a break from any more psychedelics for probably 10 months to a year aswell and you will come back. Take up meditation and walking in nature and read about the self.

Seeing through the veil can be hard to return to normal life for a while.

I have been through this many times during periods of heavy LSD use.
I'm gonna try sobriety for a while, not like you can go wrong with that really. I've even stopped my daily caffeine. I feel like I just need to spend some time as the pure unadulterated me
 

thegreenhand

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Messages
398
Location
America's butthole
holy JEEESUS!

this is supposed to happen: as you experience expanded awareness, you see things that are normally ignored, tons of things that are 'non-essential' but part of your regular day.

that is good.

worrying that you are not you because of all this unfamiliarity is natural, but in context of expanded awareness it can be troubling if you thought you knew who you were before.

the truth is you do not really know who you are, and you probably need to do drugs more often until you get a better sense of what it is to be human, alive, in love, in pain, on lockdown or any of a number of other things that are just not becoming clear;
or, stay away from drugs and just don't worry about it.
I've already been through that when I started using psychs. I realized I'm nothing but a collection of matter moving through space time with some strange voice in my head that pops up at often inconvenient times.

But I ask, do you genuinely believe that only by doing drugs one can find themselves/whatever it is they need to find?

I wanna clarify that I'm by no means anti drug or trying to disparage psychedelics. Just trying to be honest about my experiences
 

thegreenhand

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Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Messages
398
Location
America's butthole
I am a little confused on the OP. They state they had a difficult experience then 2 successful and enjoyable trips after. When did the issues start? If they began after the first trip I would have imagined the following ones would have exacerbated it. If they began after the 2 good trips then why? You say you feel into cannabis use to deal with the difficult experience - why? You say you were calmer and reset entirely, surely that is good and you wouldn't then need cannabis for the experience.

I use cannabis for pain management on a daily basis and as such don't perceive any high. When I take psychedelics I try my best to avoid prescribed opioids as they dull the trip to much for me and try and rely on cannabis only.

When using large amounts of cannabis during a trip they can really through your head space out. If I have had a hard trip, (a difficult experience marked with fear and anxiety), then smoking heavily or even moderately afterwards can rush me back into that space. I've come to actually enjoy the little denationalisation I experience, it is only mild and transient.

If you don't mind me saying the OP feels very confused. I wont offer you advice as you say you don't want it but for others that come along here I would second what others have said and avoid the cannabis for an extended period. After normality has been resumed and maintained for an extended period if the desire/need to use cannabis is there then start small and be prepared to stop again. In the mean time eat healthy exercise meditate and develop an interest in the condition. The interest puts a little distance in there and can allow a quicker recovery as you aren't identifying with all the strangeness.
Yeah I know it was a confusing OP, my bad on that. I was just trying to recount my recount my recent experiences. I've been doing all the things you mentioned for a while now.

My reason for posting was just to hear about other people's experiences related to this idea. Not so much to seek advice and/or pity which it seems the thread has become
 

dopamimetic

Moderator: N&PD
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abyss of sobriety
But I ask, do you genuinely believe that only by doing drugs one can find themselves/whatever it is they need to find?
Not only for sure, drugs are nothing but tools which flip some switches in the brain but they make nice shortcuts in a not-so-ideal world and society :) unfortunately the same society struggles with their use and the same heavy preconception stuff which makes their use (at least psychedelics) necessary. I'm too young to compare but besides todays tech, the direction of where the world was going during the time when psychs were legal is more appealing to me for sure than what came afterwards.
 

pupnik

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Joined
Dec 24, 2013
Messages
1,736
I've already been through that when I started using psychs. I realized I'm nothing but a collection of matter moving through space time with some strange voice in my head that pops up at often inconvenient times.

But I ask, do you genuinely believe that only by doing drugs one can find themselves/whatever it is they need to find?

I wanna clarify that I'm by no means anti drug or trying to disparage psychedelics. Just trying to be honest about my experiences
not at all, you can learn about what it is to be the custodian of a human body and mind many ways, but this tears off the wraps quickly, and it is not simple to rewrap the package so easily once you have let it out.
do you really need to go back to what you were exactly?
 
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