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career advice!

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
84,998
after seeing it mentioned in the lockdown thread, thought i'd go ahead and make one.

so, i can offer either serious or hopefully humorous advice depending on what i'm feeling at the time. mainly in:

academia
programming
being a crack whore

don't really recommend the last one, or the first.

i can also offer loads of advice about how to get sacked from menial jobs, mostly honesty (admitting to theft) and more honesty (correcting higher ranking employees, when clients are abusing ME because of THEIR mistakes).

i have been involved in the selection process for both academic and industrial jobs and can say not being an idiot and having done even a vague bit of preparation prior to interview is sufficient to get quite a lot of jobs. if you haven't, please don't waste people's time turning up to interview, having to sit there finishing the questions cos its a HR requirement is boring as fuck.

don't follow your passion unless you actually have talent to back it up, or were born into money so don't really need a job.

so, what other advice do people have to offer? or what would they like advice about?
 
As per the thread this split off from, I can offer advice on IT related careers.

I can also tell everyone with full certainty that it's a great thing for your mental health to get the fuck out of any retail job as soon as you fucking can because the longer you stay there the more likely you are go to nuts, get depressed, and develop an oxy habit.

As for the crack whore bit pssh that's old school, these days the girls are whoring it up on Onlyfans.
 
Wilson Wilson said:
I can also tell everyone with full certainty that it's a great thing for your mental health to get the fuck out of any retail job as soon as you fucking can because the longer you stay there the more likely you are go to nuts, get depressed, and develop an oxy habit.
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I can verify this. Awful/menial retail jobs led me to abuse alcohol which led to a raft of other health problems
 
shady, cos we were discussing it in EADD, so it made sense to put one here. i didn't even know there was one in LAVA to be fair, and think a culturally european one is probably more appropriate, cos the culture of work is vastly different in Asia and the Americas.

Wilson I don't even know what that thing you mentioned is - but i googled how much money you can make off it and its max about a weekends worth of crack per month. so its gotta be adultwork for the other 30 days. no street work if you don't want to be found in pieces in the local park, as happened less than a mile from where i lived in leeds. honestly though getting addcited to crack is a bad career move. none of these are good jobs (keeping it on topic lol).
 
chinup said:
shady, cos we were discussing it in EADD, so it made sense to put one here. i didn't even know there was one in LAVA to be fair, and think a culturally european one is probably more appropriate, cos the culture of work is vastly different in Asia and the Americas.
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yes I agree. EADD is its own community within a much larger board, and while there's nothing at all wrong with asking or giving advice with people from all over the world, issues such as careers, finances, IT and even health can sometimes be more helpful when discussed with people from your own country/region
 
chinup said:
shady, cos we were discussing it in EADD, so it made sense to put one here. i didn't even know there was one in LAVA to be fair, and think a culturally european one is probably more appropriate, cos the culture of work is vastly different in Asia and the Americas.

Wilson I don't even know what that thing you mentioned is - but i googled how much money you can make off it and its max about a weekends worth of crack per month. so its gotta be adultwork for the other 30 days. no street work if you don't want to be found in pieces in the local park, as happened less than a mile from where i lived in leeds. honestly though getting addcited to crack is a bad career move. none of these are good jobs (keeping it on topic lol).
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Agreed with you and @Forever Changes that career advice is much more useful when it's local to your region. Advice for Americans is very different to advice for Brits for example. Entirely different work cultures and attitudes by employers.

I honestly have no idea how much one can make on Onlyfans I just notice it being plugged everywhere by the girls I follow on IG. I suspect like any other social media "influencer" type job those with millions of followers make a killing while everyone else will make pretty much fuck all.

Can also make money uploading amateur content to Pornhub. But I imagine it's similar to the above where you won't actually make very much unless you're super popular. You get paid mostly by how many hits your videos generate.

That said I did know a girl at uni who did cam shows and made upwards of a grand a week. And she was nothing special either. She offered to have me fuck her on cam and split the profits but I turned it down, honestly regret that now. But cam shows are where it's at to avoid in person work by the looks of it. And since the lockdown there's more demand as well.

I have a mate who used to escort on Adultwork. Made a shitload of money and enjoyed it at first but eventually got sick of it and quit, by then she had a fair bit of savings though. I used to help her stay safe, as in she would text me the hotel and room number and the time she was expecting to leave. If I didn't get a text at that time I was to call the police and give them the info. Never came to that though luckily. One of her johns was actually an MP too!

Anyway that's the sex work portion out of the way...
 
i am actually amazed that wilson knows more about selling his body for money than i do.

i totally agree with it being sort of exciting at first, like there were some totally hot guys i'd have absolutely fucked anyway, and its novel. by the week before rehab, i was dreading stopping drugs but so fucking releived i wouldn't have to sell my body anymore. i was easily making 2k a week and have nothing to show for it, but the problem with that is i was getting worse and worse on the crack, so then if i had a slow day i'd run out, fall asleep having not slept for 5 days. then sleep through my next 2 days of appointments, wake up rattling and broke, risking some slating on ukpunting for ghosting. generally horrible way to live.

anyway i should do some real work lol. so easy to slack off when you're working from home and your boss is a douchebag. as soon as this shit is over i need a new job.
 
chinup said:
i am actually amazed that wilson knows more about selling his body for money than i do.
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Hey you don't become a kinky druggie without knowing a few prozzies. They used to use those apartments you rent by the day (like hotels but full apartments) to do their work and we'd all hang out in the main room doing lines off the table and chatting shit. Johns would come and go from the bedrooms throughout the day and in between we'd all just sit around doing lines.

Main thing that surprised me from that world was how little money most porn actresses actually make. Unless you become an actual porn star you are not making much money, even if you do shoots for the big producers. I imagine this is partially why amateur stuff is getting so big now. Cut out the middleman.
 
ha i never met one til i got addicted to hard drugs!! fair enough. probably better having someone like you there than a dealer who'se using your house to weigh shit out downstairs. at the time i thought having someone else in the house made it safer, plus i didn't care i was getting free drugs. now i realise if anything had of gone down they'd have split straight away. probably put the guys off trying anything knowing i wasn't alone in the house.

i made a porn film when i was a student and got 300 quid for it, htought it was amazing at the time. though the fuckers conned me to let them copy my student card and put it in the fucking sport!!! i thought i was gonna get expelled. that was 4 hours work. if you get guys who wanna do disgusting shit you can make 300 quid in less than an hour and not have it made public to the whole country. thats an 8th of crack, gram of dark, and change for food and baccy, and the best bit is it means you don't need to fuck any other weird guys for about another 12 hours.
 
chinup said:
ha i never met one til i got addicted to hard drugs!! fair enough. probably better having someone like you there than a dealer who'se using your house to weigh shit out downstairs. at the time i thought having someone else in the house made it safer, plus i didn't care i was getting free drugs. now i realise if anything had of gone down they'd have split straight away. probably put the guys off trying anything knowing i wasn't alone in the house.

i made a porn film when i was a student and got 300 quid for it, htought it was amazing at the time. though the fuckers conned me to let them copy my student card and put it in the fucking sport!!! i thought i was gonna get expelled. that was 4 hours work. if you get guys who wanna do disgusting shit you can make 300 quid in less than an hour and not have it made public to the whole country. thats an 8th of crack, gram of dark, and change for food and baccy, and the best bit is it means you don't need to fuck any other weird guys for about another 12 hours.
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It was me and another bloke or two, and yeah we were just mates not dealers, no dodgy shit going on we were just hanging out while the girls were working. And yeah like you say guys are less likely to try anything in that situation.

Putting your student card on that's a pisstake fuck em. But yeah it was a similar story with my mate she did a porn shot with a big producer and got a few hundred quid, really not that much when she was making £600 for an hour's work escorting, especially when it's more hours and the video is up there forever.

She wasn't into crack or dark or anything like that at least that I'm aware of, although her bf fucked with dark for a bit, she just liked good old coke.
 
fuck me £600! i shoulda charged more, was always worried i'd get less people interested though. plus lets face it i was a half dead skeleton i can't honestly believe people were prepared to pay what they were.

so, no one wants any actual career advice then?

anyone want to tell me what job i could get that is interesting, well paid, and doesn't require me to relocate to cambridge? i wanna stick broadly in data analysis for scientific purposes, but developing novel methodologies not just running other people's code. medical imaging is one thing i've thought of but most of it requires a machine learning background, which i don't have.
 
If I could go back in time I’d have trained to be a virologist. Either that or a carpenter. Neither for the money.
 
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