Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

[xcidium]

Meee??

No no.
The mannequin thingy that was posted.

 

[breakyaself]

I've nothing better to do than tell long dull anecdotes, but I suppose thats what the single thread is for right?
This is more just cathartic for me as its hurting pretty bad right now

Eye contact
Wandering home very late with a friend after a big night out and bump into a large group of people. I know 1 guy in the group from work and stop to chat. Im on a bit of a roll, saying some random funny shit as im know to do when trolleyed. I get a bright smile and attempted eye contact from a cute girl. I give her a personalized 'maddog cheeky grin'(tm), but leave it at that. It should be noted that this is all drunken recall and I barely remember her.

The setup
On Monday I get an email from my work colleague saying S from the other night wants my email if its ok with me. Sure, why not. Over the next few days Im swapping emails, MSN chatting and a couple of long phone calls. Shes smart, funny, has a good job and no apparent baggage. On the friday she says she is going out with some friends and we should meet up.

The meetup
A regular first date is scary, a blind date is very scary. A blind date with a whole group of their female friends who all know the deal and are checking you out as well: Truly Terrifying.
I'm not 100% sure what she looks like, so as I stroll into the bar, I spot her?, pull out my phone and call her. Hunting for her phone she is the only one who hasnt seen me stroll into the middle of the seated group. Im so petrified my hands are literally numb and its feels like my insides are made of spinning feathers. Every ounce of my willpower is being diverted to appearing relaxed and having all the time in the world. She answers the phone and looks up to see me. I glance around and say out loud (and into my phone): "Hey S, does this mean I have to buy all your friends drinks too?". The group laughs and the ice is well and truly shattered. Got Adrenaline?

First impression
Slightly shy, very funny with some gorgeous quirks. She has a cute face but overall not at all what i was hoping for. Godammit, I know it shouldnt matter
More on this later.

Drinkies with ma possie
The centre of attention is not something I will go out of my way for but due to circumstance im thrust bodily into the limelight ... and Im on fire. I liken it to when people are in life or death situations and suddenly can do extraordinary things like jauntily tossing around cars or even folding maps correctly.
I make a few insightful observations for one girls love life, witty remarks by the truckload, a number of backhanded cheeky compliments, and best of all I embarrass the hell out of an unwanted group of guys with some verbal parrying that would make Zorro look like the star wars kid. I imagine its difficult to harass a group of girls when they are laughing at you and your homies so hard they are nearly crying. Im told later by S that the lady locker room consensus was 'they would all do me right there in the bar given half the chance'. In a kaleidoscope of cheek kissing and sneaky evil winks the group vanishes into the night, and its just myself and S.

The night and 'the day after'
After a couple more bars and some more chatting S invites herself back to my place. I say thats cool, but I wont do anything. For my own reasons, I've never done the 1 night stand thing and its a rule I want to stick to. After some months of abstinence, quite a few drinks and some hours of making out the temptation is enormous. Ive a whole host of flaws im not proud of, but being weak willed isnt one of them. The next (cold light of) day, we chat, have breaky and I see her on her way. The truth settles in the pit of my stomach, Im not attracted to her enough. I would really enjoy going out with her and keep telling myself it doesnt matter, it shouldnt matter. But I know me, I know that little truth would eat its way at my soul till eventually I called the whole thing off. More pain for everyone.

Conclusions
Communication since has been her saying it went well, me saying Ive reservations. I say I think she is fantastic but dont think there is anything there. Us agreeing to chill and take it easy for now but she wants to make it work.

Im feel like the bad guy ... I feel like a complete cunt

Dude, that was an awesome read. I have a very 'sortof' similiar situation at the moment where everything to the other person appears fine, but im just not into it.

Its really a hard situation to be in, its not like you can tell the person, hey you bore me to tears, or whatever. But feeling like a cunt only shows that you have a great deal of empathy, as opposed to actually have done something actually 'cunt' like, which im sure you have already concluded.

People cant help what they feel. You have brilliantly for being so upfront so soon. My issue is that I keep doing this and I start to question if its me, as opposed to finding something wrong with every guy I date.

Is this a pattern for you as well of late, or just with this particular chick ?

 

[Mary Poppins]

m4dd0g - as cunty as it feels to reject someone who you know has more feelings for you than vice versa, it is also noble.

settling for 2nd best is not only doing yourself, but the other person a disservice. who knows, you rejecting her could lead her straight into the arms of someone who may admire and love her far more than you ever could

things happen for a reason, as much as we beat as ourselves up about it at the time, you acted true to yourself and when the sting has died down, she will most likely remember you as one of the ones who did the 'right thing' as opposed to stringing her along with promises you couldn't keep and making the blow that much harder to bear when it inevitably came.

chin up tiger, being picky is sure as fuck a double edged sword, but there's naught more satisfying feeling than knowing you've refused to settle just 'because' or for convenience or because you could.

xx

 

[m4dd0g]

^ Thankyou. Its one thing to tell yourself that, another to have a friend back you up

Breakya: No, its a pretty consistent thing.
Im know Im too picky. If (theorectically) it was a one night stand Id probably still pick innane flaws that would make me say no.

Being in a relationship also means surrendering freedoms. I fucking love my freedoms and it is going to take someone petty awesome to compete with that.

Btw, breakyaself, you are heaps hotter in person, you're photos dont do you justice. If you want another man, just go out and pick one
Goodluck

An update: I was contacted by said girl again (never isnt that long afterall) and got a massive apology and she wants to be friends.
And i thought nice guys finished last

 

[breakyaself]

Yes listen to Jill, she speaks words of wisdom..


Thanks also for the compliment you made me blush !

 

[FaTz]

Words of wisdom - Women are crazy assed mofo's.

If you look up "Crazy Assed Mofo's" in the dictionary, there's going to be a Picture of Eve having a go at Adam because he didn't pay her enough attention.

 

[UnSquare]

Dawg,
that,
(you know, up there),
was really well written
& heart-felt.

Emps