Sad Birthday

[JoEhJoEh]

It's my39th birthday and I'm so sad because i cannot meet friends, nobody can come visit me. Normally I don't care about my birthday but this year I wanted to celebrate it with my friends (because it is the last one with a "3" ) which is not possible - I'm sitting at home since 4 weeks.

JJ

 

[nuttynutskin]

Just be grateful that you're not spending it in the hospital on a ventilator...

 

[sewerslide.666mg]

happy mudafukin birff daze

 

[JoEhJoEh]

Just be grateful that you're not spending it in the hospital on a ventilator...

Hi nuttynutskin,

I do, I know there are things that are much worse than my sadness today but it is there and what can I do... And my allergy kills me.... and and and.. I'm so sorry to bother you all with this shit. I can't even go to my family because they are living in another country and I was soooo looking forward to get to know my first niece - fucking virus.....

JJ

 

[JoEhJoEh]

happy mudafukin birff daze

Thank you

 

[MsDiz]

It's my39th birthday and I'm so sad because i cannot meet friends, nobody can come visit me. Normally I don't care about my birthday but this year I wanted to celebrate it with my friends (because it is the last one with a "3" ) which is not possible - I'm sitting at home since 4 weeks.

JJ

Happy birthday!! It’s so shit that the situation means you cannot celebrate it properly but when this is all over it’s a good excuse for a big party!! It’s also totally ok to be annoyed that you can’t celebrate! If you can get some of your friends family on zoom or the house party app that might make you feel a little better.
I’ll sing happy birthday to you even though you won’t hear it! Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to youuuu, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to youuuuu!

 

[nuttynutskin]

Hi nuttynutskin,

I do, I know there are things that are much worse than my sadness today but it is there and what can I do... And my allergy kills me.... and and and.. I'm so sorry to bother you all with this shit. I can't even go to my family because they are living in another country and I was soooo looking forward to get to know my first niece - fucking virus.....

JJ

Yeah, we're all being affected in one way or another. It's just all about perspective imo. Try to think of what you have to be thankful for instead of focusing on what you can't do at the present time. It's easy to get caught up in the negative.

 

[JoEhJoEh]

Happy birthday!! It’s so shit that the situation means you cannot celebrate it properly but when this is all over it’s a good excuse for a big party!! It’s also totally ok to be annoyed that you can’t celebrate! If you can get some of your friends family on zoom or the house party app that might make you feel a little better.
I’ll sing happy birthday to you even though you won’t hear it! Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to youuuu, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to youuuuu!

Oh that's so nice from you, thanks a lot I'm normally not the one who bothers people with my shit but today I do not have the strength to act as everything would be OK. Thanks for your lovely post I appreciate it very much

JJ

 

[JoEhJoEh]

Yeah, we're all being affected in one way or another. It's just all about perspective imo. Try to think of what you have to be thankful for instead of focusing on what you can't do at the present time. It's easy to get caught up in the negative.

Yeah, it's the easiest thing on earth to get caught up in the negative and I'm normally not like that, but today it already hit me already when I open my eyes to get out of bed.

 

[MsDiz]

You aren’t bothering anyone by telling us how you feel. You’re feelings are completely valid. It’s ok to be upset that you can’t have the birthday you wanted, I would be also! Don’t feel the need to put on an act for people, just be yourself. It’s gets very tiring wearing a mask everyday and it can drown you eventually. It’s better just saying how you feel.

And no offence to nutty but it’s never helpful to tell someone who’s feeling bad that they should be grateful they aren’t in a worse scenario. It’s invalidating your feelings and that’s never fair.

So you’re allowed to be upset and you’re allowed to be pissed off. Just know that after this ends though that you’ll have an opportunity to have a party and see your friends and family and it’ll be even more special!

I hope you’ve got yourself a wee treat for today to have, buy yourself a cake or a big bar or chocolate and enjoy it!

Always here if you need an ear, feel free to DM me anytime

 

[mal3volent]

Hi nuttynutskin,

I do, I know there are things that are much worse than my sadness today but it is there and what can I do... And my allergy kills me.... and and and.. I'm so sorry to bother you all with this shit. I can't even go to my family because they are living in another country and I was soooo looking forward to get to know my first niece - fucking virus.....

JJ

I'm missing my niece too man . She will be two in three months...growing so fast. My brother sends me pictures and videos every day almost but it's not the same. Feels like I'm missing out on so much. They're going to hide eggs for her in their yard later today.

I'm not typically one who minds being alone but it's even getting to me! We'll get through it though. Stay strong...you can always talk to us when you're feeling lonely

 

[mal3volent]

And no offence to nutty but it’s never helpful to tell someone who’s feeling bad that they should be grateful they aren’t in a worse scenario. It’s invalidating your feelings and that’s never fair.

Nutty is a good guy, he didn't mean anything by what he said. He's right, it helps to keep things in perspective and be appreciative of what we have. It could always be worse.

 

[MsDiz]

Nutty is a good guy, he didn't mean anything by what he said. He's right, it helps to keep things in perspective and be appreciative of what we have.

And I didn’t mean to cause offence, It’s natural to tell someone to be grateful but it’s not necessarily helpful. What’s better is to acknowledge someone is feeling shit and telling them that this too shall pass but it’s ok and understandable to feel bad. Ya know? I don’t for one second think nutty meant anything but to try to help, I’m just trying to explain that there’s better ways.

There’s a thing called toxic positivity and I used to do it as well until my psychologist explained it to me. We see so much of “just be positive” and “things could be worse” that people are now feeling pressured to put the mask on and pretend they are ok and that’s not good for mental health.
This might explain it better.

A helpful chart to explain the difference between support and 'toxic positivity.’ - Good

Can positivity be “toxic”?

www.google.co.uk

Again, I’m sorry Nutty, I know you weren’t trying to be anything but helpful, I’m just trying to explain there’s better ways to support someone.

 

[JoEhJoEh]

You aren’t bothering anyone by telling us how you feel. You’re feelings are completely valid. It’s ok to be upset that you can’t have the birthday you wanted, I would be also! Don’t feel the need to put on an act for people, just be yourself. It’s gets very tiring wearing a mask everyday and it can drown you eventually. It’s better just saying how you feel.

And no offence to nutty but it’s never helpful to tell someone who’s feeling bad that they should be grateful they aren’t in a worse scenario. It’s invalidating your feelings and that’s never fair.

So you’re allowed to be upset and you’re allowed to be pissed off. Just know that after this ends though that you’ll have an opportunity to have a party and see your friends and family and it’ll be even more special!

I hope you’ve got yourself a wee treat for today to have, buy yourself a cake or a big bar or chocolate and enjoy it!

Always here if you need an ear, feel free to DM me anytime ❤

-

Dear PrincessDiz,

thanks a lot for your understanding and your lovely words. I don't even want to go out - i have an extreme allergy and from today or tomorrow on (I don't know exactly) we MUST wear it outside, too otherwise you pay 25 Euros. I'll avoid that as much as I can because even without the mask I cannot breathe (allergy) and it's getting worse then. But, you know what, later I'll order a big Pizza or something else I really like, that's my birthday cake then

Thanks a lot for your reply, PrincessDiz, and for your offer to PM you.

JJ

 

[mal3volent]

I’m just trying to explain that there’s better ways.

It's not necessarily better or worse, people just have different approaches. It's two different ways of expressing support. Not everyone has the same personality.

btw @JoEhJoEh , happy birthday! Forgot to say it before. I just entered the 3s myself. I missed my 2 for a little while, but you have to remember they're just numbers .

 

[JoEhJoEh]

I'm missing my niece too man . She will be two in three months...growing so fast. My brother sends me pictures and videos every day almost but it's not the same. Feels like I'm missing out on so much. They're going to hide eggs for her in their yard later today.

I'm not typically one who minds being alone but it's even getting to me! We'll get through it though. Stay strong...you can always talk to us when you're feeling lonely

hi mal3volent,

oh I'm sorry because of your niece. Oh searching for eggs is so nice when you see how big childrens eyes are and how happy they are if they find one! Mine was born at Jan 3rd and I didn't even see her personally. And I know what you mean, because I also always get pictures and videos but it's not the same as you said. I also need people around me, I'm working in a med. job and i miss it so much! Thanks a lot for your kind post, you guys are really nice people.

JJ

 

[MsDiz]

It's not necessarily better or worse, people just have different approaches. It's two different ways of expressing support. Not everyone has the same personality.

btw @JoEhJoEh , happy birthday! Forgot to say it before. I just entered the 3s myself. I missed my 2 for a little while, but you have to remember they're just numbers .

I agree everyone has their own way, I was just trying to explain it from my experience and maybe I didn’t do that in a very tactful way for which I apologise. I truly didn’t mean to be offensive to Nutty and I do truly believe he was just trying to help.

 

[JoEhJoEh]

It's not necessarily better or worse, people just have different approaches. It's two different ways of expressing support. Not everyone has the same personality.

btw @JoEhJoEh , happy birthday! Forgot to say it before. I just entered the 3s myself. I missed my 2 for a little while, but you have to remember they're just numbers .

I know it's just numbers and normally I don't care about my birthday even if people forget it I do not mind. But this one now, not being together with friends, not being able to go home to my family because the border is closed - I'm sorry it's SUCH a big shit!!! And many thanks for your birthday wishes, thanks a lot

JJ

 

[JoEhJoEh]

I agree everyone has their own way, I was just trying to explain it from my experience and maybe I didn’t do that in a very tactful way for which I apologise. I truly didn’t mean to be offensive to Nutty and I do truly believe he was just trying to help.

Come on you too, forget this misunderstanding - he is right, everything could be worse - (but better, too)

JJ

 

[MsDiz]

Come on you too, forget this misunderstanding - he is right, everything could be worse - (but better, too)

JJ

There’s no beef on my side whatsoever. I never called him out, I was just saying there’s better ways to support someone that’s all.
Anyway, sorry your post went this direction, go enjoy your birthday and I hope you enjoy your pizza!!