hey just saying you got this i went to sub after a 10 year addiction, i was doing about 2grams a day of good H when i went to subs i was on subs 16MG 2 8mg stripsin the morning i first off will say this dope withdrawl sucksbut its not a sub WD i would recomend staying off the subs or only using them for like 2 weeks tops they are a bitch to get off of, after 3 years of sub use and klonapin 2mg a day i walked off everything one dayi said nomore long story short i ended up in a hospital and then after i got out they gave me bad medications that interacteded negativly with eachother and made my body stifffen up i was stuck all my musclesmy moulth was even stuck it looked like i had a stroke or some shit, after i went to another hospital they helped me stop that interaction the WD was still so intense this was like 6 days in i got nitrous oxide and did accuple whippets from what i rememeber. i was later told i did over 200 that night laying there in agony and i slipping intoa full blown phycosis, not fun at all. i thought i stabed someone i was going to jail i broke up with my girlfrfiend i tried letting some random person into the car, while we were driving still mind you i was crazy and i thought everyone else was insane when i was addmitted into the phycward i remeber being like i dont need to be here wtf is going on like why am i here, i remember laying down in the bed they gave me and trying to sleep i was still kicking hard obvusly fromthe subs next thing i know i woke up in yet another hospital bed with tubes down my throat and a cathitor in....... not my best moment lol i know but i was with it i pointed to the tubes like get these out of here. i went manic so they had to intubate me or put me under they told my perents at this point to not expect me to ever recover and be prepared for me to be a vegatable for the rest of my life they said it was over a 99% chance i would NOT recover and would be a veg but they said nothing is impossible, when they tryed to put me unbder my opiate tolorance was so high that they tried morphine 3 times finally they used propafol and fyntenal i have no memory ofthem strapping me to the bed and i was pulling the nurses across the roomapparently trying to restrrain me i was lifting my arms and they were slidding across the floor they could not hold the straps down i am a small guy very small lol but it took 5 nurses apparently one on each arm one on each leg and one sitting on my chest holding me down apparently it was some heavy shit i was latter told by my parents to have to watch this as i did not want to be restrained apparently..... it has been one year sence i walked and i am doing so much better i still dont really sleepfor shit but im not living in a bath tub and bugging out 24/7 they say it takes time to get back to :normal: whatever that is i used at such a young agei dont think my brain really rememebrs what that is, or i dont remember what that is like, i rememebr sitting on my couch and i jjust started cryingg one day it was like color came back and i didnt even know it had left but i damn sure knew when it was back it was beutifull, you can get through this and you will be so happy you did opiates are grate if you can take like an oxy once in a blue moon but we all know thats not how it works atleast for me its not like its the weekend i can have a beer or two or whatever cant do that with opiates i know this and i will never make that mistake again, i have a beautiful girlfriend that is soon to by my fiance we are moving within the up comming weeks out of my home town and getting a fresh start she was not from my home town i met her back when i was in college but we are planning on having kids andi can tell you for sure i will not be addicteddd to nor abusing drugs when i have a kid i have sceen first hand what happens when paretns party/do drugs with there kids i could nevereven imagine if i had a stash or a bag of h someone and my child got into it i wouild never live that down i want my kid to be prud ofme and i dont want to explain that daddy is sick cuz of this or that or he needs hismedication for whatever cuz asmy child grows up i know they eventually will just in there heads be like yeah my dad is a dope head or have there friends saying shitthat there dad is a dope head kids are mean we all know this atleast they can be either way my future kids are a very big thing to my recovery i realized the life i wanted, needed,can have , and do have is only goinhg to last if i dont use opiates my GF has never done dope she is not an addict at all actually, my whole familyis like how did YOU get HER and i now thats messed up but i ask myself sometimes that question too and the answer is because i stopped fucking up and did the right thing insteadof doing what i wanted to do like always i did what i needed to do for once and the pay offf actually was amazing so much more than i ever thought it really does open your life up everything is possible again and its not that way cuz i am high and just feeeling good i am sobor as we speak and i have so much happiness in my heart everyday i wake up and can say my name is .... and i am ....... and i am with it not lost in a phycosis anyway i have wanted to share that story for so long but not many people want to hear that story or they dont know i was an addict cuz when people find out they treat you differently and persevere you differently anyway thanks to anyone who actually felt like readding this whole thing, and just know that if you are struggling to get off i promise i really is worth it actually even though it most deffinatly does not seem like it would be worth it at the time i remeber saying fuvk this its not worth it i rather just take some sub everyday thge rest of my life.... thandeal with the lack of quality of life i was experiancing but it finally got to a point where i did start to get bettter, after 1 month i said to myself well i made it this far im not slipping up now to just have to re do everything ive just done, my GF was one of the best most insperatinol person/thing that helped me to get clean i know you arent supposed to do that or whatever but she inspired me too get myself clean for real no matter what this time but as inspiring as she was/is, it still came down to me and me not doing something stupid everyday thats what and who it comes down to its not her job to make sure i am clean dont get me wrong i love that she cares enought that if something weird was going on with me or i was acting strange she would/will ask if imok and i know if i relapes i can tell her right away she knows that too and knows that it is 100% a real possibility even though i told her its been a year ive done all this for our future family for you and for me i am personally not going through a withdrawl like that again no matter what even ifnshe was to leave me jusst hell no that WD legit kicked my asss so hard i wouldnt even think about it, ever again. IMHO SUBS SHOULLD NEVER BE USED LONGER THAN 3WEEKS MAX they are the devil if you think dope withdrawl sucks dont even fuckwith suboxone withdrawl its another beast, Also if you have been on it for awhile DEFF TAPPER down it will make the PAWS last less time