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am missing out on 17 y/o daughter's graduation because I forgot it was today and stayed up all night on stupid bender bender

When I was 5, my Dad drove drunk and we crashed into an embankment. It was then that my Mom told me about his alcoholism. I tried to be more cheerful and helpful, hoping Dad wouldn’t drink if he had less stress at home. I also avoided telling Mom that Dad had been drinking, when she’d call home from an out of town conference.

I could tell from his voice, whether on the phone or in person, that he was drinking. At 17, your daughter surely knows that you drink. No matter the precipitating factors, nor when she began living w/ her Dad, she’s been given explanations, whether true or inaccurate, why Dad’s house is now her home.

I think you now must be honest w/ her about your issues if you want to have any relationship w/ her. She just might become your biggest cheerleader in your efforts to curb your drinking.
 
You can't just stop for 30 days and see?

Or you need a detox to stop? Stopping may not be possible without help if this is the case.

I don't know your drinking level, but if its not a daily thing and stopping is safe, then you need to 100% do a 30 day break minimum. You may get 30 days clean and realize you don't even like drinking any longer. Also once you clean up for a bit, you will think more clearly and see how many problems drinking actually causes.

I don't know anything about mother - daughter things. But according to the above posts, you daughter will eventually blow you off. I could see it too. Especially in the 18-25 phase. She may just vanish, so you don't have much time left.
 
Probably because my exes have had majority custody of my kids I’m proud to say that drugs have never caused me to be more than an hour late to things I’m supposed to be doing with them. Even though I’m an every-second weekend I try and attend all their important things - it would be a far different story if I had them full-time. They’d be taken by the state before too long I expect. Now that one of them is 19, the issue is more that his drug taking prevents him from doing the things he has committed to me!
 
Mrs.Gamp, please PM me. As an alcoholic and poly drug abuser currently fighting the fight, I have a lot of insight I could give you(in my humble opinion).
 
@MrsGamp hope you have pulled through this. i sympathize with your needing the pills / booze for your "act" I think you mean "getting through social anxiety?" right?
I found that this pandemic has been the only time I have been able to get my life together.I love my friends and family. I want to be "on" happy, together and social when I see them,
which led to me easing my anxiety and putting myself in "happy" states to make those social connections... I have been taking this time, gotten myself of bzds, alcohol, and finally the opioid
pills. (down to 10mg OC a day). they are going soon. Take this time with a lot of space from people to get OFF this crap, and build up who you are without it, so you can go back into socializing
etc from a strong place. It's been one of the best decisions I've ever made for myself. A lot of lonely feeling like shit in my room, but then again, everyone is doing that right now.
 
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