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5-Cl-AMT - Second Trial: From Light to Heavy
12-12-2020
by Xorkoth
12-12-2020
by Xorkoth
11:00am (T+0:00) - I ingest 8mg orally from a propylene glycol solution I made weeks ago when I did my first trial. At the time, I reported that after heating, I still saw what I thought to be suspended particles in the PG, so I didn't end up using that solution. But today I looked at the solution and it was absolutely crystal clear, with no sediment on the bottom, so it did all dissolve. I'm not sure if the last time, I was just seeing tiny trapped bubbles of air that I mistook for particles, or if it just needed to sit for a while to dissolve all the way,
12:00pm (T+1:00) - It's underway now. I started eating breakfast about 20 minutes after dosing, and my stomach started to feel a bit unsettled. I have been unable to finish it. I don't feel nauseous, but I definitely do not feel like eating any more for now. I feel a smoothness in my body, edges of a pleasurable pulsing sensation, and a slight unfocusing of the eyes/pre-nystagmus feeling (meaning no actual nystagmus, but a tendency for my eyes to unfocus along with a feeling of pleasure, which with heavier entactogenic drug effects, develops into uncontrollable nystagmus (a feeling I really enjoy).
12:20pm (T+1:20) - It just got stronger. I have a decidedly euphoric sensation flowing through my body suddenly, from my core, coursing out through my fingertips, along with a fuzzy buzzing sensation in my forehead. It differs from AMT, in that AMT feels heavier all around, though this may very well increase. The buzz feels light and without any body load so far. I don't feel outright euphoric but I feel good emotionally. It is primarily physical so far.
12:40pm (T+1:40) - Hard to believe it's been almost 2 hours already, time has flown by. This is very pleasant. It is substantially stronger so far than my 2mg trial was but it's extremely easygoing, and relaxing. I am curious to see how it develops mentally... right now it is much more entactogenic than psychedelic. My body feels lovely, with a pleasurable flush to my skin and a pulsing euphoric feeling in my limbs. I find myself tapping my leg a lot, but I also feel totally relaxed. Likewise though, I feel up for a hike or something. I just took my blood pressure 3 times in a row, and the average was 134 / 63, at 71 bpm. So slightly above systolic norm, and slightly above normal resting heart rate, but not much. I do not feel like my heart has any increased load. I could probably lay down and close my eyes and drift in this feeling and feel satisfied with how I was spending my time, or I could go on a hike. I think the hike would be better, though. I am going to see if my girlfriend wants to do that with me.
1:00pm (T+2:00) - I decided to redose 4mg, bringing my total to 12mg. As with when I redosed in my first trial, I did it because this is pleasurable and I would like to see more of it... it was somewhat compulsive. I'm hoping the extra 4mg might push this past a threshold and into a full-on rolling sort of state like AMT has. Hopefully I haven't jumped the gun, as with AMT, the full-on effects take about 4 hours to develop all the way for me, but I have a pretty good sense for how psychedelics feel as they're developing, and the duration seems shorter than AMT, from my last trial, perhaps even up (down?) to only half as long.
My girlfriend wants to go hiking but also wants to clean the house and my car in anticipation of a long road trip soon to visit my family for Christmas. I may just try to spend much of the day outside, chainsawing and splitting wood, and cleaning my car, and maybe going for a walk later, and also being around to take notes and such.
1:30pm (T+2:30) - I can feel the redose kicking in. This stuff certainly comes up faster than AMT does. Not that it's super fast, but AMT takes 2 hours to really do much and 2 more to reach peak. I start to feel a dose of this stuff in 30 minutes, though it takes around 2 hours probably to reach the peak. The buzz overall is still increasing, unsurprisingly since I redosed. The feeling is not rushy, it is a very stable, steady feeling, characterized by warm fuzziness and total comfort physically and mentally. There is no amount of psychedelic self-consciousness, which I definitely can get from AMT. Everything looks brighter/more vibrant, but there are no visual distortions at all. I am not next to my BP monitor right now, but my pulse actually feels very light, I am feeling my carotid artery and it is barely pushing against my fingers with any force at all. My pupils do not appear to be dilated at all. This feels less serotonergic than AMT, and maybe more dopaminergic. With AMT, my pupils become dinner plates and I can only open my eyes halfway (though I take big doses of AMT).
I just did take my blood pressure, and I got 132 / 72 at 72 beats per minute. Quite similar to last time.
2:45pm (T+3:45) - I just spent the last hour chainsawing and moving lumber. While I was outside, the Hone Depot delivery guy delivered the lumber I ordered for the project I'm doing tomorrow with my friend. We're reinforcing a second story deck balcony I recently rebuilt, with 2 additional support posts, and then building a roof over it. I enjoyed chatting with the guy and found myself wanting to over-share, but held myself back. After he left, I stopped chainsawing and moved all of the lumber, including some 4 by 8 foot plywood sheathing sheets, up the driveway and into the garage, which was really challenging by the end. The workout got my blood pressure up for sure, when I came in I felt a little overexerted, but it passed quickly. Right now I feel higher than I did before, by a little bit.
5:00pm (T+6:00) - Still going along, it's been pretty unchanging since my last entry. I went to Home Depot and while there I realized some stuff I hadn't thought of needing, but I forgot my building plan drawing, so I had to figure it out in my head. There were no problems doing so, really my mind is quite clear and nearly sober. I felt as if I was walking on a fluffy cloud while there in the store, I'm sure there was a smile stuck to my face. I still have a pleasurable body buzz. This really hasn't been strong at any point, very functional, just a pleasant glow to the day. At this dose, there is none of the in-your-face nature that AMT and MDA both have. This is light, very light. I wonder how much it will develop as the dose goes higher? I am quite confident that the nature of this drug is going to remain quite light, I think. Even at low doses, AMT has substantially more bodyload and peripheral side effects than this. 5-Cl-AMT is extraordinarily clean feeling. At this dose there is nothing too exciting about it, I am not really outright euphoric at all, there is no obvious flood of monoamines. It's also really not psychedelic at this dosage. It's worth noting that there is less bodyload than maybe any serotonergic substance I've ever tried, empathogen/entactogen or psychedelic, possibly even than LSD, or at least tied with LSD (note: I will not stand by this statement anymore, at least based on the resolution of this experience). There are no peripheral side effects whatsoever for me. It's pretty striking.
5:45pm (T+6:45) - I have started to become quite chatty on Bluelight. I'm giving advice and am really enjoying the experience. My mind feels wise, and thoughts and words are coming easily. I'm thinking a lot about myself and my situation... really pretty beat down by drugs in many ways, from over half a lifetime of being a drug addict. But this advice I gave another is advice I would give anyone, and it's the reason that I am still happy in spite of it:
"I'm convinced that one of the most important things you can do in life, and especially in addiction, is to keep remembering to be grateful for things. Choosing to see things in a positive light will ensure that when positive things happen, you can recognize them and accept them. And it's how you can keep loving yourself and other people and life itself. I'm a drug addict, myself. Like I have really bad problems with drugs. But I still love my life, and even at nearing 40 years old, it's a work in progress, and it always will be.
Addiction is a part of being a passionate and vibrant person, in many cases. We become obsessed with things we are fascinated by, and that obsession and passion is what makes things happen in the world. It can be both good and bad. Sometimes, with drugs, it becomes a bad thing for you. But I know for me, I would choose to be this way, always, because it also makes me who I am and is inextricably tied up in my personality, and specifically into personality traits I love about myself. As a kid I was obsessed with video games, and Magic: The Gathering. As an adult, I am equally as into some other stuff as I am into drugs, especially playing music, that those other things are the reason I love life, and that make it worth living."
7:30pm (T+8:30) - My pupils are actually more dilated right now than they used to be. I feel slightly cold and have the faint edges of a headache. Also, though, I am starting to withdraw a little from gabapentin, I think. I've been weaning myself down and am planning to jump off soon. I started reading my book and am getting really into that.
12:00am (T+13:00) - My pupils are still dilated. I became more intoxicated as time went on, not that I was ever in the realm of AMT itself, but it did build slowly over time. I am definitely also withdrawing from gabapentin to some extent so I would not say this is conclusive. The headache never progressed, it is still just the faintest edge, easily ignored. I have a little bit of the restless limb energy I get on AMT right now. Similarly to AMT, I feel quite awake, but also sedated, in a way. The only body concern I had was one that really alarmed me for a short bit, around 4 hours ago. I was sitting on the couch, reading my book, and I started having some chest pains. I couldn't tell if it was indigestion (as it mattered what position I was in... standing was the best), but it was enough to freak me out for a little bit, until it went away.
1:50am (T+14:50) - I have had a few drinks now. It's weird though because I feel more similarly to how I do to AMT than I have at any time today, and I'm almost 15 hours in. My pupils are still large and I have the same style of restless limb energy as I do on AMT, my body feels clenched, I find myself often clenching all of my fingers together and extending them one by one... this is exactly a gesture I perform oftentimes on AMT. I'm even making random vocalizations a la AMT. I would like to sleep now.
Observations from Two Days Later
I didn't take any more notes that night. I stayed up until 3:30am (T+16:30), and got a fair bit drunk to try to sleep towards the end. This experiment was quite strange, and a little bit alarming, because I just kept feeling like I was getting higher and, most importantly, more flooded with serotonin. Of course subjective effects can't necessarily accurately inform one of whether they've got a flood of serotonin going on, but I have done a lot of drugs and I know the feeling of having a lot of serotonin release happening. I had crazy nystagmus, and my pupils got wider and wider as time went on. I also started feeling chilly despite bundling up. From about 8 to 9 hours into the experience, it slowly transitioned into a pretty heavy, mongy thing. The first half of the experience was as gentle as can possibly be, truly I had the least amount of bodyload of almost any trip I've ever had, although calling it a "trip" is perhaps a stretch. It was very mild, but uniformly enjoyable and not at all alarming feeling. I probably overblew the sense of alarm towards the end, but it's just because this is almost totally unexplored, and it's known to be a strong MAOI. Really, towards the end, it felt very similar to the end of regular AMT, as I noted in my last time entry above. I suppose if I think about it, AMT makes me feel absolutely flooded with serotonin, chilly, and slightly headachey towards the end, which is just how I felt with this towards the end. I even had some really specific and odd symptoms develop that I have only experienced on AMT before, including the specific type of restless limb energy, and even more notably, the strong urge to mutter syllables to myself as I writhe around.
All I could think of at the time was, oh no, something I ate, or else my gabapentin withdrawal creeping in, is interacting with the MAOI properties and is causing a runaway cascade of serotonin. I was having thoughts about maybe 5-Cl-AMT being an irreversible MAOI, which destroys the MAO enzymes like some of the first gen pharma MAOIs, and I would be inhibited until my body made new ones. I thought about how I had had propylhexedrine the day before, and how maybe that was a factor. Though I don't know if that makes sense, as propylhexedrine doesn't last anywhere near that long, and the whole first 8 or 9 hours were not alarming in the least.
In any case, finally I fell asleep, and woke up 7 hours later feeling like I got hit by a bus. I was overwhelmingly lethargic all day, and the whole first half of the day, my pupils were still larger than they were during the first 8 hours of the experience, though they were less huge than they were during the strongest parts that night. My stomach was unsettled and I did not feel good. Of course, I also drank a fair amount of vodka, and I don't drink very often anymore at all. So an alcohol hangover was absolutely part of it, and perhaps the majority of it.
Reading back through my notes, I can see and remember the slow progression from a light, mild, sober-headed thing, to a rolly, euphoric, chatty period of time between hours 6 and 8 (this was the best part), to a bit of an overload after that. I'm really not quite sure what to make of it... I have not seen the same progression reported in the few other reports that exist. And my 2mg experience was all the way down by hour 10 and never became heavy in the least... though of course, I took 6 times more this time.
I think what I will do is mark this as inconclusive, but a good data point anyway. I will finish coming off of gabapentin, get back to feeling good, and take this again at 10 or 12mg, and be very sure I haven't recently consumed anything that might interact with it. In the meantime, A couple of friends are also doing some trials with this, so we can expect more data points soon.
If you plan to experiment with this, stay safe, please! Do not assume anything about this stuff. I may have had an unknown interaction with what was going on in my body, or a fluke, but it happened in any case, and it didn't happen until very far into the experience. If you plan to use this, please start very low, and do not redose, and take the possibility of MAOI interactions seriously. It is exciting that we have so many cool things to explore, but AMT analogues have the potential to be really sketchy, and the last thing any of us want is for an accident to happen.
It's definitely good to be cautious based on this, but I definitely think there's a decent chance the gabapentin withdrawal or something else threw you this time too and will be looking forward to your next one hoping for a more positive result again. Our report is up now if you're curious, and so far our experience has been pretty positive and I can agree with a lot of the specifically good things that you have to say about it so far, but of course we've only taken it one time so far and we should also reserve much judgment at the moment.
