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Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2020 ⫷⫷

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Shady's Fox

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anyone stayed sober for other people in their life? successfully? there’s that saying about having to be ready and i’m sure there’s something about having to do it for yourself, but people get sober for their kids and stuff.

i don’t have kids but i need to be sober for my family. at the same time, i love benzos more than life. how the fuck does that work.

Motivation struggles are common but you have to do it for yourself, that's the only sane way to think about it.
 

nznity

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Joined
Jan 24, 2017
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Lima.
anyone stayed sober for other people in their life? successfully? there’s that saying about having to be ready and i’m sure there’s something about having to do it for yourself, but people get sober for their kids and stuff.

i don’t have kids but i need to be sober for my family. at the same time, i love benzos more than life. how the fuck does that work.
Borrowed motivations have a 99% chance of relapse. What hsppns if something bad like u fight with r relatives or sum like that? Ur not gonna he able to cope AND end up relapsing. You hav todo it for yourself.
 

Hylight

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Joined
Jan 4, 2019
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borderline catastrophic headache.

but other than that kratom helped.

trying to catch up with myself too.

two weeks opioid free.
. . . but still pretty free.

but was very tempted to xanax
but did not.

i am very sober and probably don't
need pot.

the biggest fear is the headache.
maybe cut down on sugar. ❤
 

Zosoal

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 17, 2019
Messages
7
Doctor pushed my appt back a week and now I get to spent 6 days going through suboxone withdrawal hell. Does anyone have any tips? I’ve been through this before and it’s absolute agony. The only thing I can think about is buying ANYTHING to get me through the week.
 

Hylight

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friday i was out in the heat and sun again all day soo all day saturday i had a really really really bad headache all day.

it's usually a hit or miss but we were extra exposed to it friday. the headache was intense but i kept taking doses of kratom to make it go away. every time the kratom would wear off i would have to take more to keep the pain down all day.

it was really hot out on friday so it wasn't from drugs bc i wasn't on any. i used to go outside all of the time when i was taking hydrocodone and was perfectly fine healthy with no problems from it anyway.

ever since i have discontinued with taking pain medication i have had severe headaches ever since that are triggered by the sun. which is the saddest thing in the world bc i love to live outside.

anyway the kratom worked. i might just take a little more today, because my head was really soar yesterday. this makes me really sad. i am just devastated which just leads to more depression.

i told myself that i am going to start exercising and eating healthy by summer 6/21 yup after almost going on two years of pain and depression. at least the good news is it isn't as bad as it could be . . . . . but just right up there to be bad enough.

i actually was doing better with the drugs than without them but ya have to quit at some point.

i guess this should have been put in the complain about something thread . . . . but i haven't taken an opioid for almost over two weeks now. the saddest thing is that it wasn't even hurting anything. it was just taking the pain away.
 

Hylight

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oh and the sad thing too is that i probably have some brain damage now from these headaches and i have to figure out how to grow some brain cells back now. sad.
 

Hylight

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oh my f'd head.
this just does not work.

gotta keep your head up head
oh yeah
gotta be happy happy
oh yes 💛🎸
 

Hylight

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I had a headache for three days, that
I think was from heat dehydration.
Almost three days and it wasn't getting
better except for a little bit everyday.

So I finally was so sick from it that I took
a quarter dose of xanax at about 3: a.m. and it helped so much to be able to cope again from the xan. because the severe headache pain stopped.

then I started to wonder if a melatonin would have been just as good but I knew the xanax would definitely work and wanted the pain in my head to just stop because it was killing me.

All of this brings me to conclude that medicine actually really is a good thing. Especially when it results in the drug that is the most effective medicine !

I feel my recovery is going well but my pain is not.

I also feel like my PTSD is at a higher level and I want to bring it back down.

I wish I could have made it without that xanax
but could not do it.

I am good right now. But everything seems to be wearing off eventually but so far no opioids.

heeee he They sure were the perfect medicine that were helping in every way. The world seems to be having a shortage of my perfect medication. the end.
 

Hylight

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Jan 4, 2019
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^^^ the reason why I have my medical insurance
in the first fucking place 🤕.
 

Hylight

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Hylight

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oh i couldn't take it anymore. I didn't know where else to go. yes. It's horrible.

I dug out a little piece of a xanax. probably less than 25mg. They're strong, are scripts. I shouldn't have did it. I should have just dabbed first. But I didn't.

Will go look for the stock pile tomorrow. Can't go on anymore. Ooop. It's working already, just like everything.

hmm guilt is fading. But it helped.
☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹
until it doesn't. ♡

do believe its working . . . . . good,
c'mon it's time to go 🎼🎵🎶🎵

g'nite
 

hydroazuanacaine

bluelighter
Joined
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8,305
oh i couldn't take it anymore. I didn't know where else to go. yes. It's horrible.

I dug out a little piece of a xanax.
been caving as well. self-sabotage.

was supposed to get started on lamotrigine but stuck on 50mg with no psych willing to take the responsibility of raising it to a real dose. a little angry about it. depending on doctors is a sure way to get fucked. i messed up using drugs and then messed up trying to get off them.
 

Captain.Heroin

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oh and the sad thing too is that i probably have some brain damage now from these headaches and i have to figure out how to grow some brain cells back now. sad.
The brain is remarkably neuroplastic as long as you use it it is all still there.

After people are brain injured, if they exercise the affected area's purpose, often other areas of the brain will take over.

The brain is a remarkable organ. Do not worry; remain happy and optimistic and you will be fine.

Of course listen to and follow your doctor's advice primarily as well <3
 

Hylight

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The brain is remarkably neuroplastic primarily a

Thank you for your support and attention. I appreciate your empathy and time. Thaank you for your dedication and focus on what I am just feeling and don't quite understand.

I had pain management and would get my prescriptions filled every 2 months or so. And I have remembered when doctors would prescribe them when needed. It seemed
like allot of others had prescription pain medication from from their own doctors.
Then this pain management specialty doctor with referral developed.

So when pain management not authorized in the remaining services. I either didn't sign up in time for a taper. Or maybe there are laws now really causing restriction.

So I have no options around here to get subscribed pain medication.

However, thank you @CaptainHeroin, your advice is perfectly correct. Thank you for affirmation on following doctors advice also.

I am sure that there may be facilities to help with certain conditions and ailment. I am sure I will find help out there if I keep searching even if I have to leave area and find another location.

I guess pain management started to be called some sort of name like a pill mill, However my pain management was in a community medical facility. It didn't seem like a mill. Just a busy doctors office with quite allot of patients.

The Primary Care physicians do not like to seem to be bothered treating pain due to not wanting to prescribe narcotics. . ?

However there are some designated doctors that now specialize in medical marijuana prescriptions. As of three years ago after pain management was closed down pain and then I think there might have been some help with taper assistance that was in a notification after the pain doctors were shut sown by regulation.

Now here I am disgustingly in shock because I have overstressed and developed pain that became even worse.

Now when I get stress and fatigue and am hurting and in allot of pain, it is depressing
and defeating at times.

I was stressed and feeling in much crippling and stabbing hurt. So I decided to take a prescription xanax benzo for to help out with the pain.

Noww I am just high as a kite, too relaxed to even know what pain is. And thats not right, I have to actually not be able to function properly just to the to stop the pain.

What I am trying to say isnthat the pain medication wasn't that strong and helped tremendously and no adverse side affects.
For myself the best therapy that helped the most.

The pain causes the anxiety so the xanaxbenzo
is helping in that sense.

I took a heavier dose of xanax and hopefully won't need to anymore for even for a few days, hopefully.
But the pain will come back eventually and I will try to stretch and exercise it out. Bit at this point I need a gurney or a bed or a couch.

So ouch.
These benzo's really knock me for a loop and then causes bad side effects when deciding to discontinue taking this very potent medicine.
I almost seem not to be on the planet when I am taking them. At least they are helping my severe pain especially my back aching and pains like torn tendons and other muscle pain and joint stress.

I am so loaded that I couldn't even feel this wasted from a whole bottle of sparkling wine.

I think the pain medication remedy helps the most.

I will keep seeking our medical support services somewhere somehow aand through all of the rest of it.

thank you for sharing your support and knowledge and helping with your perspectives and your great efforts for trying to resolve and that has helped tremendously.
while I am struggling with my nagging pain that is feeling quite debilitating quite a bit at times..

So much appreciation and respect, I really hope we fare well and do great.
I am really sorry for taking advantage of taking pain pills so much. But they really helped.

Thank you for the health and recovery information. Thank you for the concerning

I am nodding off so bad now
🍋
 

Hylight

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Joined
Jan 4, 2019
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9,682
The brain is remarkably neuroplastic as long as you use it it is all still there.

After people are brain injured, if they exercise the affected area's purpose, often other areas of the brain will take over.

The brain is a remarkable organ. Do not worry; remain happy and optimistic and you will be fine.

Of course listen to and follow your doctor's advice primarily as well <3
i will find a medical office and doctor to consult with. someday things might settle. just took a little bit xanax benzo and am feeling a little bit alright now, pretty much. thank you for answering.
i just would like
proper benefits of approptiate medicine.
i think it will be alright. so when the benzo wears off, i will just try to take a naproxin motrin and other types of aspirin too. or maybe nothing
and the pain enough is very aggravating.
thank you for caring and your reply with help.
i have a lame xanax hangover but at least it's
not alcohol. a perfect storm for blank and black outs. thanks for your time.
oh and the depression but it helps too.
on the positive side of xanax wow did i ever sleep good all night. for some reason it doesnt seem right, but that is what it was prescribed for and that is anxiety . and i have anxiety from not taking a little pain opioid. i would smoke h if it was good but i always worry about my lungs. i would rather drink some tonic so to speak. i am wasted on xanax. i will sober up, i hope, and am thankful for your post. medicine when it is appropriate can be a benefit, but might have side effects alongside. i need to stay sober to get through my shifts and that's it. benzo are so strong but good. i should have took a zyrte allergy but they don't calm me down like benzo.
don't get hooked. it is so horrible.
 

chinup

Moderator: H&R, EADD
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awwww hylight your situation sounds so difficult. if you don't mind me asking, what is the cause of the chronic pain? is it something that non-medicated approached like physio and exercise can help with? mindfulness is supposed to be really helpful too.

its monday again and i can't be arsed with work!
 

deathpost

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Joined
Sep 13, 2017
Messages
16
anyone stayed sober for other people in their life? successfully? there’s that saying about having to be ready and i’m sure there’s something about having to do it for yourself, but people get sober for their kids and stuff.

i don’t have kids but i need to be sober for my family. at the same time, i love benzos more than life. how the fuck does that work.
Not in my experience. I spent several years in AA and no one who was a true addict was able to do it for anyone other than themselves. I mean sure other people's lives improved that were around the situation, family, kids, etc. That was a side effect. I Wish I could tell you differently, but in my years I've not seen it.
 

Hylight

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Jan 4, 2019
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awwww hylight your situation sounds so difficult. if you don't mind me asking, what is the cause of the chronic pain? is it something that non-medicated approached like physio and exercise can help with? mindfulness is supposed to be really helpful too.

its monday again and i can't be arsed with work!
slight scoliosis symptoms and i stressed out my tendons and they have to mend and heal or else they swell up and get inflamation.

i have exercises for it but when i stopped pain therapy i get all slow and more depressed with acceleration.

i will be alright as soon as i can work through the PAWS part. However my doctor even used to say pain will cause you to feel depression nd this is quite a real fact and all

i had a cast on my one wrist from being torn so badly too but it is starting to heal thank goodnesss sake but that even took over a year

but anyway . . . .
 
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