It is the darkest & loneliest place-withdrawal

[Xorkoth]

Awesome job! At first I was gonna say maybe your lack of restlessness is from the norco, but then I saw it's been 5 days since the last one so definitely not! The magnesium probably is helping but if you can get to sleep without kicking your legs nonstop then I think you probably are through the worst. You should be really proud! One thing to keep in mind is, I've never been on suboxone, but I hear that it's very long-lasting in terms of withdrawal. So you may have peaks and valleys still but it sounds like the worst is behind you. If you do find it kicking up again, just remember that every day is progress and just keep at it!

 

[Hylight]

Today is day nine exactly
without a hydrocodone.
i have a lot of trouble with night,
day, sleeping, being awake, without pain medication.

Jesca01
you are amazing. and it is such a gift
and i am so blessed to be thought of by you ��.

 

[Hylight]

Oh yes, and MAGNESIUM. MULTI VITIMIN.
B and D vitamins.
BANANNAS and PICKLES -
in a REAL EMERGENCY.

has been know to help alot with RLS and cramps !!

even every other day or three days helps to keep level.

and luck be with our strength !

ITS TOUGH

 

[Hylight]

I am about 45 hours into this battle. I feel beat up. I feel like fighting. I feel like crying. I feel cold. I feel tired. I feel restless. I feel hot. I feel everything. I feel mad at myself that I am here, in this moment, for the 3rd time in my life. But more than anything, I feel determined. If anyone has any tips, home remedies, etc that might ease this for me a little, I would be so greatful. Coming off Suboxone after about 20 months. I am positive there is info that is already been posted but I do not have it in me to search through all the threads & posts. Much love to everyone

wow it IS a dark and lonely place.
you just put some light on that one ��.
thnx.

 

[Hylight]

Just wanted to add that for me, benzos only help with the anxiety, not too much with the other symptoms, they wouldn't even knock me out to be able to sleep. So I'd probably avoid those just because, like Mafioso said, physical dependence on benzos is much more severe to come off of.

I'll only add one more thing, and that's exercise. Do you best to exercise every day, especially cardio. It will really help you get better faster. This is especially true after acute withdrawal is over, but if you can make yourself do it even now it will help.

i can't even get out and excercise anymore.
i say everyday tomorrow i will TRY.
everyday seems to be my last day in bed anymore.

i used to be able to physically do amazing things.
now its just one day leading to another wanting to
think that there is at least hope.

i want to get all loaded on two more
alpratrzam errr the xanax the rest of the day
so all i do is wait,

but i have
no way of knowing.

when i do get to take them
i wonder why i even waited

at least it's only wednesday.

i dont know,
if it will make it better or worse ????

it does give relief to the pain
but i get wasted into oblivion
and i don't know if it is a benifit
even though that , i feel, that it
could be. not to mention feels good.

i am so broken and sick ) :

i am going to postpone with
a puff of vape wax ?? maybe ? ?

God bless this universe
or whoever got created
out of it.

 

[Hylight]

i know hydo's hurt but
subs must be a real challenge
also !

take advantage that you are
kicking it

that is AWESOME GREAT WORK !

Good Work Jesca01 !

 

[M0NSTER]

Amazing! You are so strong

Hey peeps-last night I slept. I slept 6 hours I think. It was amazing & the restlessness is easing up & I feel like I?m finally through the worst. The Norco did help me sleep..I took a 7.5 here & there, I think I had 8 total & spread them out across a 6 day period. Just typing this to let anyone else out there know if you have a few it might help if you can maintain self control & use them sparingly. They took the edge off when it was unbearable & did let me sleep a little Shadowmeister you are right about the lack of sleep! The weed took the edge off that night for about an hour but I didn?t smoke much & I?m sure I could have smoked more but I suffer from anxiety & didn?t want to heighten that. It?s the #1 reason I don?t smoke but weed is much different now than it was back when I was 17 & turned off by smoking because I became so paranoid. Started on the magnesium 2 days ago, wonder if that is helping calm my body? I can?t believe last night I wasn?t jumping in the hot bath at 4am to quit jerking! I?ve had to do that 2-3 times a day for the last 11 days....last night my body calmed down some & I just passed out. I am hopeful the worst is over!! This is a journey but I feel like I may have went through the worst part of the journey and made it. Almost 12 days no suboxone, almost 5 days no hydrocodone. YESSS!!! And Hylight hang in there!!! Not sure your story or how long it?s been but you can do it! I don?t feel like I?m a strong person sometimes but I?ve learned through this that If a person really wants something, our mind is more powerful than our body. Thanks to everyone that?s helped me through this journey. Thank you Ash for the love, I feel it!
Much love!
Jessica

 

[EPL1]

I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you Hylight!!

You're doing an amazing job!! Try to be kind and patient with your self.

I'm here for you and offer my love and support.

Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.

Today is day nine exactly
without a hydrocodone.
i have a lot of trouble with night,
day, sleeping, being awake, without pain medication.

Jesca01
you are amazing. and it is such a gift
and i am so blessed to be thought of by you ?.

 

[EPL1]

Awesome job Jesca!!!!

I am glad you feel the love, I am so proud of you, if you need anything I'm here. You got this!!!!

Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.

Hey peeps-last night I slept. I slept 6 hours I think. It was amazing & the restlessness is easing up & I feel like I?m finally through the worst. The Norco did help me sleep..I took a 7.5 here & there, I think I had 8 total & spread them out across a 6 day period. Just typing this to let anyone else out there know if you have a few it might help if you can maintain self control & use them sparingly. They took the edge off when it was unbearable & did let me sleep a little Shadowmeister you are right about the lack of sleep! The weed took the edge off that night for about an hour but I didn?t smoke much & I?m sure I could have smoked more but I suffer from anxiety & didn?t want to heighten that. It?s the #1 reason I don?t smoke but weed is much different now than it was back when I was 17 & turned off by smoking because I became so paranoid. Started on the magnesium 2 days ago, wonder if that is helping calm my body? I can?t believe last night I wasn?t jumping in the hot bath at 4am to quit jerking! I?ve had to do that 2-3 times a day for the last 11 days....last night my body calmed down some & I just passed out. I am hopeful the worst is over!! This is a journey but I feel like I may have went through the worst part of the journey and made it. Almost 12 days no suboxone, almost 5 days no hydrocodone. YESSS!!! And Hylight hang in there!!! Not sure your story or how long it?s been but you can do it! I don?t feel like I?m a strong person sometimes but I?ve learned through this that If a person really wants something, our mind is more powerful than our body. Thanks to everyone that?s helped me through this journey. Thank you Ash for the love, I feel it!
Much love!
Jessica

 

[Hylight]

aww thank you .that is so strong.

i have the xanax waiting because
it keeps coming back and hitting
me hard. kind of like a wave.

you are really strong and and amazing.
my idea of being tough is not stop forever.

you are really brave and are doing just great.
wow. such a great accomplishment
keep going and have many more. thumbs up !!

the pain is debilitating beyond sobriety .

sori, You are strong and you Can !!

 

[Hylight]

the worst part for me right now is cramps and trying to walk.
my legs are weak and rubbery it won't be long until i have to take
a xanax. i get so wrecked but i can barely sleep. its definitely like
living in my own fun house in the circus.
i try to wait as long as possible on the xanax, but there
is no getting through without help. that is all that i am doing when
i can get up and get one.
i am frightened of just falling asleap so i probably won't.

blessings for us all to stay strong !

 

[Hylight]

i took my alprazolam with a piece
of my bourbon vanilla swirl dark chocolate
candy bar piece

and i told myself, i will do great again tomorrow !

 

[Jesca01]

Shadowmeister thank you! you are dead on with the peaks & valleys comment. 4:00am hot baths are in fact still a thing ughhh.....not being able to sleep is truly the worst. I am thinking that physical activity may have helped me sleep last night, because I was forced to be very active yesterday. Today I did nothing & have Been unable to hold still...again. I?ve also had a very upsetting night which has caused me so much stress & I know the worry is effecting me. My uncle was in a terrible motorcycle wreck tonight, he?s fighting for his life. Every area of his body is broken & bleeding. He lives in Florida & wasn?t wearing a helmet! Ugh! I had people coming in from out of town & I?ve spent part of the night driving them to the airport to be by his side. He has a 6 year old little boy. My family is a mess over it & I?m sure it?s causing me some restlessness! One day at a time....hylight we are in this together! I?m sure the mental Hell will come soon & we will need each other to fight this demon...I hope tonight is peaceful for you. Thanks for the support Monster & Ash & everyone else. There are some excellent people on here where y’all in real life I need nice friends lol Ha!
love,
Jessica

 

[Xorkoth]

Oh no, I'm so sorry, that's awful news. Motorcycles are so dangerous. Especially without a helmet.

 

[Hylight]

Shadowmeister thank you! you are dead on with the peaks & valleys comment. 4:00am hot baths are in fact still a thing ughhh.....not being able to sleep is truly the worst. I am thinking that physical activity may have helped me sleep last night, because I was forced to be very active yesterday. Today I did nothing & have Been unable to hold still...again. I?ve also had a very upsetting night which has caused me so much stress & I know the worry is effecting me. My uncle was in a terrible motorcycle wreck tonight, he?s fighting for his life. Every area of his body is broken & bleeding. He lives in Florida & wasn?t wearing a helmet! Ugh! I had people coming in from out of town & I?ve spent part of the night driving them to the airport to be by his side. He has a 6 year old little boy. My family is a mess over it & I?m sure it?s causing me some restlessness! One day at a time....hylight we are in this together! I?m sure the mental Hell will come soon & we will need each other to fight this demon...I hope tonight is peaceful for you. Thanks for the support Monster & Ash & everyone else. There are some excellent people on here where y’all in real life I need nice friends lol Ha!
love,
Jessica

Jessicsa, Oh I know !!
Omg I am
So Sorry.
Love ya,
Kelly.

 

[EPL1]

I'm praying for your Uncle Jesca.

How are you doing today my friend?

BTW I often wish my friends on here that I've come to know and love lived by me. ; )

your friend,
Ash.

Shadowmeister thank you! you are dead on with the peaks & valleys comment. 4:00am hot baths are in fact still a thing ughhh.....not being able to sleep is truly the worst. I am thinking that physical activity may have helped me sleep last night, because I was forced to be very active yesterday. Today I did nothing & have Been unable to hold still...again. I?ve also had a very upsetting night which has caused me so much stress & I know the worry is effecting me. My uncle was in a terrible motorcycle wreck tonight, he?s fighting for his life. Every area of his body is broken & bleeding. He lives in Florida & wasn?t wearing a helmet! Ugh! I had people coming in from out of town & I?ve spent part of the night driving them to the airport to be by his side. He has a 6 year old little boy. My family is a mess over it & I?m sure it?s causing me some restlessness! One day at a time....hylight we are in this together! I?m sure the mental Hell will come soon & we will need each other to fight this demon...I hope tonight is peaceful for you. Thanks for the support Monster & Ash & everyone else. There are some excellent people on here where y’all in real life I need nice friends lol Ha!
love,
Jessica

 

[Jesca01]

Hey y’all,
it’s been a 14 days without suboxone & 8 days without the hydrocodone. It’s safe to say, i’M sober. Think I’m gonna head on over to sober living, & check it out. I’m still restless & not sleeping much but I figure this will linger for months. Today is the first day I have really wanted to use something to make me “feel” better. I’m not used to life without something making me “feel” a different way & I am a counselor in life so I definitely understand why addicts use, why they go back to using & relaps, etc etc etc but reading about it in a textbook & living it is 2 different things. My uncle pulled through, & it is a miracle from God. He’s had 6 surgeries & still has bleeding on his brain but he’s been responding to questions by shaking his head & that’s a wonderful sign. Hylight how are you making it? Much love to y’all!
jessica

 

[M0NSTER]

Jessica,

Amazing work! 2 weeks is a huge milestone. 2 weeks in I was still feeling restless and not healthy in the stomach: Kind of like a bad hangover? Sleeping still escaped me, and I waslucky to get 4 hours. But sleep is important to healing and you need it. Try to keep regular hours (ie, bed by midnight and don't get out of bed until 8:00a). Eating healthy now is also important, your body needs to rebuild and gain strength. The physically negative feelings will pass, keep giving it time and your body will heal. Now the mental healing starts, and it is so good you're reaching out to the sober living forum for a sense of community and support. I found that rebuilding hobbies that don't involve opiates, and friendships were extremely helpful when I had cravings to use.

Glad to hear about your uncle, and congrats again

Hey y’all,
it’s been a 14 days without suboxone & 8 days without the hydrocodone. It’s safe to say, i’M sober. Think I’m gonna head on over to sober living, & check it out. I’m still restless & not sleeping much but I figure this will linger for months. Today is the first day I have really wanted to use something to make me “feel” better. I’m not used to life without something making me “feel” a different way & I am a counselor in life so I definitely understand why addicts use, why they go back to using & relaps, etc etc etc but reading about it in a textbook & living it is 2 different things. My uncle pulled through, & it is a miracle from God. He’s had 6 surgeries & still has bleeding on his brain but he’s been responding to questions by shaking his head & that’s a wonderful sign. Hylight how are you making it? Much love to y’all!

 

[Ganjcat]

I have so much respect for people who beat withdrawal and make it through I have had mild withdrawal and it certainly isn't my cup of tea it can be a cruel world

 

[Jesca01]

Thank you Monster! I feel very weak, & sleep is almost impossible because I have restless legs and arms so bad! It’s still almost as bad as it was a week ago....one day at a time.
pete, thank you! Being stubborn & strong willed has its good & bad...pays off during this journey though, ha! It’s kind of like a battle in my Mind & although I’ve gotten off track a few times in life I refuse to let the other part of me, the addicted part, win.