It is the darkest & loneliest place-withdrawal

[Jesca01]

I am about 45 hours into this battle. I feel beat up. I feel like fighting. I feel like crying. I feel cold. I feel tired. I feel restless. I feel hot. I feel everything. I feel mad at myself that I am here, in this moment, for the 3rd time in my life. But more than anything, I feel determined. If anyone has any tips, home remedies, etc that might ease this for me a little, I would be so greatful. Coming off Suboxone after about 20 months. I am positive there is info that is already been posted but I do not have it in me to search through all the threads & posts. Much love to everyone?

 

[EPL1]

Hi Jesca,

I have already replied on your intro thread, nice to see you over here.

Did you taper off Subs or just come off cold turkey, I see others recommend tapering when coming off subs.

Do you have any comfort meds?


Hang in there, you can do this. Proud of you. We're all here for you.


Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.

I am about 45 hours into this battle. I feel beat up. I feel like fighting. I feel like crying. I feel cold. I feel tired. I feel restless. I feel hot. I feel everything. I feel mad at myself that I am here, in this moment, for the 3rd time in my life. But more than anything, I feel determined. If anyone has any tips, home remedies, etc that might ease this for me a little, I would be so greatful. Coming off Suboxone after about 20 months. I am positive there is info that is already been posted but I do not have it in me to search through all the threads & posts. Much love to everyone

 

[Jabberwocky]

Jesca01, it might get worse before it gets better.

Maybe reach out for family support, having relax/hobby time to both distract you and help calm you, and staying positive/determined like you have been so far will be key.

Curious to hear from others who've been through Sub WD?

I know that withdrawal in general isn't easy, but often a good distraction can do the trick. Whether it be something or someone you love, go do it.

Good luck you got this!

 

[Mafioso]

Stay hydrated and find someone to talk to. Hopefully someone who has been where you are and understands whats going on, but anyone who cares is better than no one, even if there is some judgement it's probably done out of lack of understanding on their part. Pedialyte or something similar is a good idea. Comfort food or food that's easy for you to get down once you are able to eat. Stock up on water and easy to prepare food if you are taking care of yourself. Multivitamins aren't a bad idea either(at recommended dose).

Immodium can help with the GI issues. Benzodiazepines will help and pretty much remove all WD symptoms short of diarrhea, but physical dependence can happen in a matter of weeks, and benzo WD is far worse than opioids imo. So be very careful if you go that route and try to get a benzo like valium with a longer half life.

Besides all that, be nice to yourself. Pay attention to your self talk, and don't talk to yourself in a way you wouldn't talk to your best friend. Journaling can help when you're feeling anxious. Doing meditation exercises and yoga can really help calm the mind down if you're having racing thoughts. If that type of stuff isn't for you, then maybe try movies, podcast, and books. Music that calms or soothes you. ASMR on youtube if that helps.

 

[Xorkoth]

Just wanted to add that for me, benzos only help with the anxiety, not too much with the other symptoms, they wouldn't even knock me out to be able to sleep. So I'd probably avoid those just because, like Mafioso said, physical dependence on benzos is much more severe to come off of.

I'll only add one more thing, and that's exercise. Do you best to exercise every day, especially cardio. It will really help you get better faster. This is especially true after acute withdrawal is over, but if you can make yourself do it even now it will help.

 

[Jesca01]

Hey y’all...
Ash, I started taking suboxone because I needed to avoid withdrawal from opiates I became dependent on in 2016. But, my body hates suboxone...as in, it made me so sick so much of the time & all I was ever able to tolerate even after a year & a half of use was 1/8 of a 8mg strip. If I even tried to take any more I would be violently sick, but when I tried to stop all together it made me violently sick! So, I did taper down to 1/16 & so I thought well surely I won’t suffer WD too bad & jumped off the subs after a week of 1/16.
I’ve suffered pretty bad withdrawals unfortunately. Maybe because the longevity of my use, which is about 3 years total including hydrocodone before the subs. I can’t imagine what Someone who took way more than me without tapering. I have Been freezing while sweating for 4 days, insomnia, stomach sickness but the worst is the restless body. Can’t hold still & jerking everywhere. It became so bad i broke down & have taken 3 norco 7.5, one a day for the last 3 days. I know this sounds like a terrible idea & is I’m sure dragging out some of my withdrawals but it was either that or give up completely. I’ve had these norco stashed for a long time & Once they are gone they are gone, I think I have 2 or 3 left....but honestly it has helped me in having those little minor breaks in the agony. I tried to see a doctor to prescribe me clonidine. I’ve read this blood pressure medicine can alleviate a lot of the symptoms. Unfortunately the doctor treated me terribly! And told me to leave & go to the er if I needed help with withdrawal...that they “didn’t do that there.” She wouldn’t even give me zofran for nausea. I cried for an hour in my car in disbelief that some people in life are really that shitty! Anyways, thanks for all the tips guys....today is another day in my journey��

 

[Painful One]

I'm sorry to hear that a doctor was no help to you Jesca01. That was not right.
You would think with the current "opiate epidemic" thing that help would and should be available at any provider that a person had the courage to go to.

Maybe you could slowly taper down? That is one option that would make things more comfortable and less harsh for you.

I understand if you just want to get it over with also.

I'm just offering you some support and encouragement.
Don't give up. You are right, today is another day. Just take things as they come.

Best of luck.

 

[Painful One]

Oops- just saw that you have tapered down to 1/16 of an 8 mg strip.

Maybe tapering even further and holding for longer to give your body time to adjust may help.

I hope you feel better real soon. Either way.

 

[Jesca01]

Thank you! I am so restless but I do feel some better. I do think I should have tapered a little more but I’m almost 5 days in now so I’m just going to keep pushing through. I mentioned above i took a few norco. I haven’t taken one in 24 hours & im feeling alright. I hope it was so weak that it wont affect my progress, I think it may have delayed my progesss but I still think the worst might be over...god I hope so! And I’ll never the way that doctor did me yesterday. I think in about a month I’m going to print off a shit load of literature & go pay her a visit & give it to her & let her know I made it without her help but there might be someone else that isn’t as lucky. She needs to educate herself and her clinic. They are the ones that wrote me pain pills for my kidney stones! Makes me sick how I was treated.

 

[EPL1]

Hi Jesca,

No judgement from me ever. You do what you find is best, I will always support you.


And oh my God!!! That Dr is the devil!!! I am a chronic pain patient and I take my meds as prescribed and I have also had horrible treatment from Dr's, hospitals, pharmacists etc, and it's still wrong.

I am so sorry that happened, it's WRONG. You are awesome to be getting help. Is there another, kinder dr you could see?

I am always here for you if you want to talk.


Hugs,
Ash.

And keep your head up, don't let one asshole dr make you feel defeated. I'm really proud of you Jesca and we all love and support you here.
Tomorrow is another day.

Hey y’all...
Ash, I started taking suboxone because I needed to avoid withdrawal from opiates I became dependent on in 2016. But, my body hates suboxone...as in, it made me so sick so much of the time & all I was ever able to tolerate even after a year & a half of use was 1/8 of a 8mg strip. If I even tried to take any more I would be violently sick, but when I tried to stop all together it made me violently sick! So, I did taper down to 1/16 & so I thought well surely I won’t suffer WD too bad & jumped off the subs after a week of 1/16.
I’ve suffered pretty bad withdrawals unfortunately. Maybe because the longevity of my use, which is about 3 years total including hydrocodone before the subs. I can’t imagine what Someone who took way more than me without tapering. I have Been freezing while sweating for 4 days, insomnia, stomach sickness but the worst is the restless body. Can’t hold still & jerking everywhere. It became so bad i broke down & have taken 3 norco 7.5, one a day for the last 3 days. I know this sounds like a terrible idea & is I’m sure dragging out some of my withdrawals but it was either that or give up completely. I’ve had these norco stashed for a long time & Once they are gone they are gone, I think I have 2 or 3 left....but honestly it has helped me in having those little minor breaks in the agony. I tried to see a doctor to prescribe me clonidine. I’ve read this blood pressure medicine can alleviate a lot of the symptoms. Unfortunately the doctor treated me terribly! And told me to leave & go to the er if I needed help with withdrawal...that they “didn’t do that there.” She wouldn’t even give me zofran for nausea. I cried for an hour in my car in disbelief that some people in life are really that shitty! Anyways, thanks for all the tips guys....today is another day in my journey��

 

[EPL1]

And this is why I love you.

You are the kindest and best, Painful One.


Your friend,
Ash.

I'm sorry to hear that a doctor was no help to you Jesca01. That was not right.
You would think with the current "opiate epidemic" thing that help would and should be available at any provider that a person had the courage to go to.

Maybe you could slowly taper down? That is one option that would make things more comfortable and less harsh for you.

I understand if you just want to get it over with also.

I'm just offering you some support and encouragement.
Don't give up. You are right, today is another day. Just take things as they come.

Best of luck.

 

[Painful One]

Yeah, you know, we should start calling these doctors out!
That is absolute bullshit that you were treated that way. You are trying to do the right thing.
I think we should just start sending names and messages right on Twitter to President Trump.
Let him make it known to these doctors that they cannot leave a person without help! Period.

Opiate withdrawal is severe and feels like organ failure. I should know.
It can be life threatening and is most certainly life destroying.

You never should have had to be made to feel worse and cry in your car all alone for hours after being courageous enough to ask for some help.

Good for you for thinking of others who WILL come after you! Even though you are hurting so bad yourself. Well done!

I hope you get feeling better real soon. Hang in there. It can't last forever and I think you are through the worst.
I wouldn't beat yourself up over a few Norco. In comparison to the strength of that subs one stuff they are giving people, I don't think that will set you back much and it gave you a little break. A much needed one.

Be well. Hugs!

Ps: that's why I love you too Ash! Thank you my dear friend.

 

[M0NSTER]

I found comfort meds to help with my cold turkey WD. Having a warm bed with clean sheets, a bathroom with running water and baby wipes, and lots of books and movies to distract. Imodium, gabapentin, benzos, kratom and muscle relaxers also helped. Trying to get your body moving with exercise releases natural endorphins, as much as you won't want to, even a brisk walk will help and will kill some time.

If you have a friend or partner who gets it and is willing to spend time with you, it's a godsend. Drinking electrolytes, soup, water and taking warm baths also helped. The worst is over in 3-7 days, then the mental work begins. I found my emotions were so raw and uncontrollable. But you can do this! Keep us posted on your journey

 

[zephyr]

Hey mate, I have nothing on terms of opiates as uppers are my monkey but withdrawal is a personal hell, a low point in a journey that does not stay there.

Are you doing this alone? Like no one around you knows, well it's okay to keep this your journey as no one here knows anyone in your life so take solace you can vent all you like here.

I second the movies and music thing.

Movies and time away from all the people and all the things is a good thing


Just tell people you are feeling rats hit and accept any assistance getting you time and space.

Subs might not be your thing but thats something to talk to professionals with.

Dont like your doctor then find another.

X

 

[M0NSTER]

Also: with the restless/muscle stuff. Muscle relaxants were the only thing that got me through. And using a little norco to get you through is not a failure, you're doing it!

Thank you! I am so restless but I do feel some better. I do think I should have tapered a little more but I’m almost 5 days in now so I’m just going to keep pushing through. I mentioned above i took a few norco. I haven’t taken one in 24 hours & im feeling alright. I hope it was so weak that it wont affect my progress, I think it may have delayed my progesss but I still think the worst might be over...god I hope so! And I’ll never the way that doctor did me yesterday. I think in about a month I’m going to print off a shit load of literature & go pay her a visit & give it to her & let her know I made it without her help but there might be someone else that isn’t as lucky. She needs to educate herself and her clinic. They are the ones that wrote me pain pills for my kidney stones! Makes me sick how I was treated.

 

[Jesca01]

So today is day 8 of no suboxone, & day 2 of no hydrocodone. So now that I’m deep into this. I definitely don’t think I could have made it this far without a comfort med. unfortunately the only thing I had was Norco so I used what I had. It wasn’t the worst thing, but it isn’t the first choice I would pick for comfort med seeing I’m still feeling physical symptoms pretty strongly, or stronger than I would have if I had not taken them. BUT they actually kept me going in this journey so for that I am truly thankful. It’s now been over 2 days since I’ve had anything & I’m making it. Last night was hell. I kind of felt like I was starting all over in the withdrawals because I flopped like a fish all night but today I’ve managed to get up, go outside (it was a pretty day here in Alabama), & I even swept off my kids trampoline & swingset. So that is progress! My husband does know that I am going through this. He is supportive & helpful as far as keeping the kids occupied & out of the house so they Do not see me like this. I do not want them to see me like this. I do feel like I am starting to experience emotion hell, & that scares me. I have taken celexa before but I fee like that quit working after 2 years and it also zapped my energy. It took me 6 months to ween off that stuff last summer so I hate to go back down that route of an anti depressant but I also know I can’t bust out crying every time I think of something that gets me emotional...hot baths & a heating pad have been the 2 things that have really helped me soo much. When I can’t quit jerking I jump in the hot bath & it helps. Oh, I haven’t shared this yet either but I also take adderall. I truly am ADHD & have taken adderall for several years but I quit taking it the same day as the suboxone just because I knew it would heighten my withdrawal symptoms. I wonder if some of this feeling in my body like I’m being electrocuted & jerking is because of the Adderall? Do people have withdrawals from that too? I’ve always taken it like prescribed even less than prescribed sometimes but I’m beginning to wonder if some anything I’m going through Is because of the adderall? Thanks y’all for the support. It is so nice to be able to talk to people who can relate. No one in my real life can really relate & therefore it’s just easier to tel them I have the flu than to tell them what is really going on. I may tell everyone in my life one day though. Because I feel like people need to be educated that this doesn’t descriminate. I don’t care what a persons walk of life looks like, this can happen to anyone. Much love everyone! I appreciate each of you!!

 

[Jesca01]

After hours & hours of jerking & feeling like I would be better off knocking my head through the wall so maybe it would take my mind off of my restless body...I decided to look to see if my husband had any weed stashed...which he stashes from time to time but can’t smoke it a lot because of his job...and thankfully he did. You better believe I just lit that shit up & omg...My body & Mind is calm for the first time in days. This peacefulness might last 5 minutes it might last five hours idk but right now I don’t even care, I think I might get to actually sleep...

 

[Xorkoth]

It was ultimately a good idea to use the norco just a bit if it helped you sleep, because lack of sleep is the hardest part of opiate withdrawal eventually, it drives you nuts. Whenever I would withdraw I would eventually cave on the 5th or 6th night of no sleep because I would just break down. So if you can catch sleep here and there is helps so much. But yeah it will prolong everything, too.

I'm glad the weed helped! I find it really helpful for withdrawal, too. Sometimes it can increase anxiety but it is relaxing physically and usually it gives me a short period of improved mood. One thing you can do that helps the restlessness/jerking is get some magnesium... a calcium-magnesium supplement (they are both needed simultaneously to absorb well). They make easily digestible ones, I have a powder that you take a scoop of in water. Take a big old dose of it, and the magnesium really helps with muscle tension and restlessness.

 

[EPL1]

Hey you,

Popping back in to see how you are today Jesca?

Yes, the rls sucks. Shadow recommended magnesium, try that.

Glad the weed's helped you too. I pray that it all doesn't last too long for you.

Very proud of you, you got this!!

Here if you need me,
Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.​

After hours & hours of jerking & feeling like I would be better off knocking my head through the wall so maybe it would take my mind off of my restless body...I decided to look to see if my husband had any weed stashed...which he stashes from time to time but can’t smoke it a lot because of his job...and thankfully he did. You better believe I just lit that shit up & omg...My body & Mind is calm for the first time in days. This peacefulness might last 5 minutes it might last five hours idk but right now I don’t even care, I think I might get to actually sleep...

 

[Jesca01]

Hey peeps-last night I slept. I slept 6 hours I think. It was amazing & the restlessness is easing up & I feel like I’m finally through the worst. The Norco did help me sleep..I took a 7.5 here & there, I think I had 8 total & spread them out across a 6 day period. Just typing this to let anyone else out there know if you have a few it might help if you can maintain self control & use them sparingly. They took the edge off when it was unbearable & did let me sleep a little Shadowmeister you are right about the lack of sleep! The weed took the edge off that night for about an hour but I didn’t smoke much & I’m sure I could have smoked more but I suffer from anxiety & didn’t want to heighten that. It’s the #1 reason I don’t smoke but weed is much different now than it was back when I was 17 & turned off by smoking because I became so paranoid. Started on the magnesium 2 days ago, wonder if that is helping calm my body? I can’t believe last night I wasn’t jumping in the hot bath at 4am to quit jerking! I’ve had to do that 2-3 times a day for the last 11 days....last night my body calmed down some & I just passed out. I am hopeful the worst is over!! This is a journey but I feel like I may have went through the worst part of the journey and made it. Almost 12 days no suboxone, almost 5 days no hydrocodone. YESSS!!! And Hylight hang in there!!! Not sure your story or how long it’s been but you can do it! I don’t feel like I’m a strong person sometimes but I’ve learned through this that If a person really wants something, our mind is more powerful than our body. Thanks to everyone that’s helped me through this journey. Thank you Ash for the love, I feel it!
Much love!
Jessica