• TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

Are you taking ADs? Lithium synergizes with antidepressants and if I recall you're on one?

He prescribed Cymbalta, but I'm not going to take that because of withdrawal horror stories. Even if you taper, it's still awful and I read from other people you have to open the capsule and count beads, very slowly reducing the amount. Pain in the ass. I'll tell him that next month so he can prescribe something else. I didn't know it synergizes with an AD, cool.

Are your ADs working for you?
 
I have remained stable, remained sober, and generally feel good. Me and my girl have been going through some rocks (not crack), but i am hopeful for the future. It would be long distance if we decide to be together after we meet, and she's a sex enthusiast, so i think remaining in an open relationship would be ideal. I don't care who she talks to, as long as she's still loving me like i love her.

Just a bit worried that good sex alone with someone else will convince her to drop me for someone closer by. We have humored the idea of me moving closer to her (since i am homeless and mobile), but that would take big commitment which we are definitely not ready for.

Hopefully all goes well, because if i lost her for good this time, instead of the usual ignoring for 24 hours and then making up, i would be kicking myself.
 
Last edited:
^ Oooh, that sounds amazing right now! I saw lavender scented epsom salt somewhere, bet it's heavenly for a bath.

madness00, I'm glad you're stable and well, good luck with your relationship! You can't worry about if she'll prefer someone else and if she does, she's obviously not the right person for you anyway. Just see where it goes.
 
^ Haha! :)

I saw my new psychiatrist for the 2nd time yesterday. Last month, he told me "We'll see" about the klonopin, but now it's clear he's one of those psychiatrist who doesn't prescribe it at all. He gave me the speech again about it being "addictive". I told him I never abused it. It didn't matter. I was disappointed, then out of nowhere he said "Gabapentin works for your anxiety, right?" I was like "Oh yeah! I totally forgot to ask you about that!" He must've looked at my chart and happened to see I mentioned Gabapentin to my therapist.

He prescribed 300 mg 2x a day. I'm used to a whole lot more, but at least he started me on it. It's crazy Gabapentin is a controlled substance now. It works wonders for bipolar and anxiety.

I'll stick with the Gabapentin for now and maybe I can manage without benzos.
 
Maybe he is genuinely looking out. Addiction doesn't discriminate, and he took the time to check that gabapentin worked for you. And maybe that was the only reason he didn't prescribe klonopin, because he found out gabapentin worked. Who knows, if he didn't know that gaba worked he may have given you klonopin like you asked for.

I took johnnies a couple years ago, forgot the milligram but I had 2 and then 3 more a couple hours later. The only reason I didn't nod out was because I was strangely focused at the same time. I'll stick to uppers. Nodding is so boring. ;p

Happy that it works for you though, CoastTwoCoast.
 
You are so right! I used to nod on poppy pod and poppy seed tea many years ago and realized nodding is really boring and a complete waste of time.
 
Haha, yeah, it truly is..

Obviously it's an escape, a way to cope with pain, a warm euphoria like being in a pool naked full of fluffy puppies.. but it's just not for me. And i'm glad it's not for you, either, because you can kill anxiety while still maintaining a level of productivity. Nodding is just overkill. It is truly the ultimate escape. But you always come to the same old place you were before you started, so might as well get used to it, and not overdose.
 
Hey everyone...long time BL'er first time posting here...whazzzup madness? Well you know my situation...30+ years using heroin and still want to keep using...Being totally honest I just love it sooooo much to give it up. Otherwise I'm pretty healthy even though I smoke cigs and drink beer and shots of FireBall Whisky to go along with my cig, haha...Tried all sorts of medicine replacement therapies (methadone, suboxone) as well as cold turkey. I've had clean periods but the last time was back in the summer of "16 when I came down off my 2 buns/day habit with clonidine and sleeping pills washed down with a cold beer...pretty unorthodox way to detox; well from heroin anyways...I was ok for a while and trying to keep busy working or just doing anything to keep the demon at bay...of course there's always something that comes up to fuck everything up...but I had also noticed that I was clean from H physically BUT the combination of them damned drug dreams and not addressing the psychological aspect of this disease just set myself up for failure...Wasn't getting any sleep unless I drank myself to sleep which is stupid cause of course when the alcohol wears off you instantly wake up with a massive hangover and the same thoughts and feelings came back...I really wasn't happy at all being clean...very BORING as far as I thought. Came to the conclusion that I have to be on some sort of meds for the rest of my life...and if that's the case then it might as well be HEROIN!!!! That's my rant for the night...it's 1:45am and still don't feel sleepy or tired in any way so what's on your minds? Any comments, thoughts would be very appreciated.....Peace!!!
 
Hey everyone...long time BL'er first time posting here...whazzzup madness? Well you know my situation...30+ years using heroin and still want to keep using...Being totally honest I just love it sooooo much to give it up. Otherwise I'm pretty healthy even though I smoke cigs and drink beer and shots of FireBall Whisky to go along with my cig, haha...Tried all sorts of medicine replacement therapies (methadone, suboxone) as well as cold turkey. I've had clean periods but the last time was back in the summer of "16 when I came down off my 2 buns/day habit with clonidine and sleeping pills washed down with a cold beer...pretty unorthodox way to detox; well from heroin anyways...I was ok for a while and trying to keep busy working or just doing anything to keep the demon at bay...of course there's always something that comes up to fuck everything up...but I had also noticed that I was clean from H physically BUT the combination of them damned drug dreams and not addressing the psychological aspect of this disease just set myself up for failure...Wasn't getting any sleep unless I drank myself to sleep which is stupid cause of course when the alcohol wears off you instantly wake up with a massive hangover and the same thoughts and feelings came back...I really wasn't happy at all being clean...very BORING as far as I thought. Came to the conclusion that I have to be on some sort of meds for the rest of my life...and if that's the case then it might as well be HEROIN!!!! That's my rant for the night...it's 1:45am and still don't feel sleepy or tired in any way so what's on your minds? Any comments, thoughts would be very appreciated.....Peace!!!

So methadone didn't help you? I loved my time at the clinic. Totally took away all my heroin cravings
 
Suboxone is really strong. I've never done heroin, but I tried a small piece of someone's suboxone strip before and it had me nodding in the movie theater. I'm surprised something so powerful is used to try to get people off of opiates. Just seems like it could easily become a replacement. It also seems like doctors keep people on it way too long, but they're all about making money.
 
It also seems like doctors keep people on it way too long, but they're all about making money.

I hear that a lot. Two things can be true at the same time in life. Doctors benefit from the money made keeping people on maintenance. While the patient benefits from the stability of being on maintenance. Studies show a drastic increase in mortality when people stop maintenance drugs. So it really is in most peoples best interest to stay on maintenance for life or until they create a better treatment for opiate addiction.
 
I hear that a lot. Two things can be true at the same time in life. Doctors benefit from the money made keeping people on maintenance. While the patient benefits from the stability of being on maintenance. Studies show a drastic increase in mortality when people stop maintenance drugs. So it really is in most peoples best interest to stay on maintenance for life or until they create a better treatment for opiate addiction.

I see what you mean. I was reading more about suboxone use last night: there are some who say they don't mind staying on suboxone long-term because they are doing well on it. There are others who say it's evil because they cannot get off of it no matter how hard they try due to withdrawals and it's ruining their life. They say the withdrawals are way worst than opiates and last longer. Sounds like a nightmare. Someone said kratom helped them to get off of suboxone for good so there's a great idea.

That's a tough situation. It would be better to only use suboxone for a short detox and get behavioral therapy to work on the emotional issues for addiction. I certainly don't fault those who want to stay on it long-term because it helps and it's better than relapsing/death.
 
Hey everyone...long time BL'er first time posting here...whazzzup madness? Well you know my situation...30+ years using heroin and still want to keep using...Being totally honest I just love it sooooo much to give it up. Otherwise I'm pretty healthy even though I smoke cigs and drink beer and shots of FireBall Whisky to go along with my cig, haha...Tried all sorts of medicine replacement therapies (methadone, suboxone) as well as cold turkey. I've had clean periods but the last time was back in the summer of "16 when I came down off my 2 buns/day habit with clonidine and sleeping pills washed down with a cold beer...pretty unorthodox way to detox; well from heroin anyways...I was ok for a while and trying to keep busy working or just doing anything to keep the demon at bay...of course there's always something that comes up to fuck everything up...but I had also noticed that I was clean from H physically BUT the combination of them damned drug dreams and not addressing the psychological aspect of this disease just set myself up for failure...Wasn't getting any sleep unless I drank myself to sleep which is stupid cause of course when the alcohol wears off you instantly wake up with a massive hangover and the same thoughts and feelings came back...I really wasn't happy at all being clean...very BORING as far as I thought. Came to the conclusion that I have to be on some sort of meds for the rest of my life...and if that's the case then it might as well be HEROIN!!!! That's my rant for the night...it's 1:45am and still don't feel sleepy or tired in any way so what's on your minds? Any comments, thoughts would be very appreciated.....Peace!!!

I hear you.

The psychological aspect of the disease is often overlooked, as drugs like subs and methadone are used as a sort of band aid. The bad thoughts and feelings or mere boredom is part of life, but there are such easy and pleasurable avenues to take to cure them.. Why not heroin, right?

But when we think like this, we neglect the long term happiness we could potentially enjoy by instead chasing a temporary, expensive, time consuming, mind numbing and unhealthy high.

It is possible, my friend. If you want it, go get it. And if you need supports, use them by all means. No shame in it.

Check out The Dark Side too if you'd like - great people and moderators.

Peace.
 
Last edited:
I forced myself to start Effexor XR this morning, 75 mg. It made me really drowsy and kinda out of it, but that should subside eventually. Life has been meaningless and empty to me for way too long, especially since quitting Adderall 9 months ago. I just don't care about doing anything anymore. So here's hoping for the best!

I have a high kratom tolerance, but took only 3 grams of kratom a few hours after the first Effexor dose and it actually made me feel even better. There was some nausea at first so maybe more than 3 grams of kratom would have resulted in vomiting, but the low dose works well so far. It took away the grogginess.
 
Hi, Coast

I hope Effexor is a good medication for you and brings some relief. I’ve been struggling with motivation too but it’s slowly coming back to me just when I thought it might never. So, I hope you stay hopeful that you’ll get back to feeling like doing and caring about things because I think it’s something humans are meant to feel and we do return to, it’s in our nature.
 
Top