Benzos My First post! Valium Tolerence!

[ValiumTorenceSkyHi]

Hi fellow Bluelighers! First id like to say im glad i have finally joined! i have used blue light for years to educate myself on alot of different pharmaceutical Drugs and Chemicals! (mainly pharmas)

Id like to also say i will always respect fellow blue light members! And because i am new if I say anything wrong for example SWIM (i read you can no longer use that) id appricaite if somebody could let me know!

Getting to the point my first post!

Basically last night i spent like an hour teling my story of how i became to be addicted to benzodiazepines! them my PC crashed and iv lost the whole tread i was about to post so i will make this shorter!

Basiaclly im 25 now when i was 17-18 i suffered from really bad Depression and Anxiety I was drinking badly and basically became an alcoholic! after about 6 months of hardcore drinking! (and i can not stress enough how bad it got) i ended up with really bad withdrawels! 6 months of drinking and about the last 3 were the worse! Hallucinating from severe lack of sleep and the WD's!

i was basically a lost teenager who didnt know how to deal with it so turned to drink! anyway eventually i got the the docter! he seen the stae i was in gave me Diazepam for the withrewels and Nitrazepam for sleep! it was the worse experince of my life bye far! and thats why i never drink anymore!

But at that point in my life were i thought i would never feel my old self again the benzos rally helped1 without them i would of had seizures for sure! my dad (who has now passed away when was 23) he helped me through it i dont know what i would of done without him at the time! he basically saved my life!

So Fastforward a few weeks! the WD's have cleared! but i still feel severely anxious! so i turn to Benzos! then they made my feel normal again i though i would never feel that way again! But then i became hoocked on them! at the age of about 19-20 i would buy them anyware mostly of the street because were i stay in Scotland its really easy to get them!

For all they years i have been using them and basically became Obsessed with them because they helped with my severe anxiety! I think i have GAD but not Diagnosed! so im 25 now! i have a Diazepam (valium) (my drug of choice) Tolerence of 70mg to 120mg a day sometimes more! Also use other benzos xanax at times! RC benzos sometimes! Experimenting with them all!

So as my first post this is just a bit about myself and how I became to become addicted to benzos! Sorry if i have wrote anything I should not have! I dont think i have but just in case sorry please let me know if I have!

So I suppose I would just like to hear people thoughts on my situation! any similar situations? general advice etc...

Thanks...

 

[ValiumTorenceSkyHi]

Also ment to say if i have posted this thread in the wrong place id appriciate id somebody could let me know!

Thanks...

 

[KodytheLoadie]

WOW, that's a fucked story, man!

Well, firstly, welcome to BL! You might start recognizing me as the guy who feels a need to write full chapter responses, lol. Ummm, no they don't do the SWIM thing, although plenty of people still do it and their shit doesn't seem to be getting deleted or anything. But who knows, maybe they get PMed by mods. But really that 'My dog' 'SWIM' crap just sounds really stupid, don't it? That's why I don't do it, not 'cause the site says we can't. Other Drugs should be a pretty safe spot for this type of post (assuming the mod didn't move it and I'm just unaware).

--- On to your topic;
Well, I've never really struggled with an 'addiction' problem before. Like physical/ psychological 'need' for something. But know plenty of people who have (and I spend alot of long meth nights trolling Bluelight, lol). So I had always heard growing up that alcohol is the only thing that can KILL you from withdrawals. But I recently found out that, no, benzos can kill you from withdrawals as well. I've also heard that it's the absolute worst of the worst in terms of mental hardship when attempting to wean yourself off. And if your number is accurate, the JESUS FUCK!!!! is about all I can say. 20 mils of vallium can make me lose dates on my calendar pretty good. 10 in the AM, 10 in the PM... "Wait, it's fucking SUNDAY?!". There's a bit of input. If it's not helpful, at least you can tell yourself the Loadie is madpropsin' you big time, lol. No, seriously, addiction isn't cool or fun, and that's more benzo than I've ever even HEARD of someone calling a daily dose. I don't pay too great of attention to those shits, though, so might not be the greatest person you want telling you about it...

Now I didn't catch a per se question from your post at all. But if I'm taking 12 to 15 doses of benzo a day, I'd probably be asking for advice on how to quit. I mean, not to snoop, but how the hell can you, being my age and likely in my same-ish position in life, How do you fucking AFFORD that much on the street. at my local prices you have to be in the bill or two a day range, right?
-Sadly, I don't have a wealth of information other than, definitely don't try to cold turkey. I know, you knew that already. But like I would, in your situation, I'd definitely be interested in at least slowing down. I'm not telling you to quit, trust me I'm NEVER that guy, lol. But think of the damage you've done already, even at 50 mils for 5 years straight... I mean, shit can't be good for your liver/ heart/ *insert any bodily organ here*. I Just gonna say, I'm not the health nut granola cruncher either. But when I realized I was smoking a half gram of meth every single day, I was like, 'OK lets, slow that role just 42.98 percentile". Cut it back to about point 2 and only every other day. I didn't quit, shit I didn't even kill it to what most people would consider a 'normal' amount. But I took it from extremely bad to not-quite-as-but-at-the-end-of-the-day-still-pretty-damn bad. Small victories, bro.
-Anyway it seems like benzo is like the silent addiction, because apparently everybody does them but it seems no one admits to a problem or addiction to them. I can't tell you why, but I've been finding out a lot of people who I've know a long time have been hooked for long periods of time and I never really knew/ no one really is talking about it. I would assume that you can probably go to a doctor to get a maintenance sort of ween-down project going... You'll have to stick with it for it to work, and that will be difficult since you apparently have easy access on the street. But if you beg really good maybe some doctor will work with you and you can ease up on it a bit. Not trying to sound like a bitch, just hoping you'll try to live a bit healthier because I care about that kind of shit. Just talking to some random internet guy, but I honestly do care, because that seems like a ridiculous amount, man....
Anyway I'm not sure HOW one would go about dealing with a benzo dependency, especially one of your caliber. I'm sure there's resources out there that are much more impressive than my rambling bullshit, so I suppose I'll just say welcome, again, good to have you around the community and keep us all posted on how the battle goes man!

 

[ValiumTorenceSkyHi]

WOW, that's a fucked story, man!Well, firstly, welcome to BL! You might start recognizing me as the guy who feels a need to write full chapter responses, lol. Ummm, no they don't do the SWIM thing, although plenty of people still do it and their shit doesn't seem to be getting deleted or anything. But who knows, maybe they get PMed by mods. But really that 'My dog' 'SWIM' crap just sounds really stupid, don't it? That's why I don't do it, not 'cause the site says we can't. Other Drugs should be a pretty safe spot for this type of post (assuming the mod didn't move it and I'm just unaware).--- On to your topic;Well, I've never really struggled with an 'addiction' problem before. Like physical/ psychological 'need' for something. But know plenty of people who have (and I spend alot of long meth nights trolling Bluelight, lol). So I had always heard growing up that alcohol is the only thing that can KILL you from withdrawals. But I recently found out that, no, benzos can kill you from withdrawals as well. I've also heard that it's the absolute worst of the worst in terms of mental hardship when attempting to wean yourself off. And if your number is accurate, the JESUS FUCK!!!! is about all I can say. 20 mils of vallium can make me lose dates on my calendar pretty good. 10 in the AM, 10 in the PM... "Wait, it's fucking SUNDAY?!". There's a bit of input. If it's not helpful, at least you can tell yourself the Loadie is madpropsin' you big time, lol. No, seriously, addiction isn't cool or fun, and that's more benzo than I've ever even HEARD of someone calling a daily dose. I don't pay too great of attention to those shits, though, so might not be the greatest person you want telling you about it...Now I didn't catch a per se question from your post at all. But if I'm taking 12 to 15 doses of benzo a day, I'd probably be asking for advice on how to quit. I mean, not to snoop, but how the hell can you, being my age and likely in my same-ish position in life, How do you fucking AFFORD that much on the street. at my local prices you have to be in the bill or two a day range, right? -Sadly, I don't have a wealth of information other than, definitely don't try to cold turkey. I know, you knew that already. But like I would, in your situation, I'd definitely be interested in at least slowing down. I'm not telling you to quit, trust me I'm NEVER that guy, lol. But think of the damage you've done already, even at 50 mils for 5 years straight... I mean, shit can't be good for your liver/ heart/ *insert any bodily organ here*. I Just gonna say, I'm not the health nut granola cruncher either. But when I realized I was smoking a half gram of meth every single day, I was like, 'OK lets, slow that role just 42.98 percentile". Cut it back to about point 2 and only every other day. I didn't quit, shit I didn't even kill it to what most people would consider a 'normal' amount. But I took it from extremely bad to not-quite-as-but-at-the-end-of-the-day-still-pretty-damn bad. Small victories, bro. -Anyway it seems like benzo is like the silent addiction, because apparently everybody does them but it seems no one admits to a problem or addiction to them. I can't tell you why, but I've been finding out a lot of people who I've know a long time have been hooked for long periods of time and I never really knew/ no one really is talking about it. I would assume that you can probably go to a doctor to get a maintenance sort of ween-down project going... You'll have to stick with it for it to work, and that will be difficult since you apparently have easy access on the street. But if you beg really good maybe some doctor will work with you and you can ease up on it a bit. Not trying to sound like a bitch, just hoping you'll try to live a bit healthier because I care about that kind of shit. Just talking to some random internet guy, but I honestly do care, because that seems like a ridiculous amount, man.... Anyway I'm not sure HOW one would go about dealing with a benzo dependency, especially one of your caliber. I'm sure there's resources out there that are much more impressive than my rambling bullshit, so I suppose I'll just say welcome, again, good to have you around the community and keep us all posted on how the battle goes man!

Thanks for your responce buddy i appriciate it! evan tho you are a random guy on the internet lol! My spelling might no be perfect here as a cant be assed at the moment correcting the spelling errors lol! just typing really fast!Some good points! i know most already but still appriciate it! yea benzos are really bad for people to become addicted to! most people dont evan relize there addicted until they go without for a few days! And the withdrawels are bad because they last so long! iv heard in cases upto 6 moths 6 MONTHS! id imigine that would be 3 months then it would get easier the next 3 but evan after the 6 months Cognitive function can take years to come back fully and sometimes never fully!In response to the 'benzos can kill you' From what iv read and iv read alot its really hard to OD on benzos! just benzos! but mixing them with other CNS depressants can be really dangerous respitory depression being the main Danger! Also its the withdrawels that hold the danger! 'Benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome' think of all the bad side effects you can get from drugs and thats benzo withdrawelsTo be honest evan tho these are a problem in my life im not sure if want to get of them yet i love them lol! love/hate I defo think i had General anxiety disorder! from a young age! always anxious and worrying! But my docter seems to think im fine! maybe i need to change docter get a second opinion! i can defo and should reduce the amount i take! at that Dosage im not going to feel any bad withdrawels if i just taper slowly! toset an amount to get to! 50mg to 100mg a day instead of 70 to 120mg adleast that would be a start lol!Anyway as im busy the now iyl leave at at that but i really appriciate the response! my first blue light response lol

 

[ValiumTorenceSkyHi]

Also ment to say yea its real cheap to get benzos in my area Diazepam being the main 1! 28x5mg for £10! Not sure if im allowed to mention prices on here but its not like im selling them or giving any 1 info on how to get them! so should be fine!

 

[willy33]

Heya,

First, your tolerance is high but not astronomical. 70 - 120mg is what...hold up.....14 - 25 5mg tablets per day. I too have been on levels this high and tapered off. Like KodytheLoadie said benzos, along with alcohol, are a drug that can kill you with abrupt cessation.

Having said that I know a guy who was on 20mg/day of alprazolam (Xanax), which is 10 tablets/day of a considerably stronger benzo. I met him in jail where he hadn't received any benzos since his arrest 6 days prior. He wasn't feeling too good and was begging the nurse to take him seriously (which she didn't - this was jail after all). Anywho, he ended up having a seizure, not a long one, and they then took him seriously. My point is while it is possible to die from abrupt cessation it's unlikely.

Also, after extensive use and abuse of diazepam, oxazepam, temazepam, alprazolam, nitrazepam and clonazepam I have finally, finally found that these pills have such a mild dose-response curve it's not really worth using lots at a time. Benzo's are like weed - one cone you will feel, two cones you're high, three cones you're as high as you're gonna get. Any more after that is just a waste of weed.

Try thinking of ya benzo's like that. Taking 14 tablets of diazepam isn't going to get you much more relaxed, or mellow, or high, than taking two. Also, in my own experience and from an anecdotal perspective, large amounts of benzo's have an almost inverted effect - that is, the user becomes irritable and obnoxious. Especially after prolonged use of high levels.

peace

 

[ValiumTorenceSkyHi]

I totally agree with you your speaking some sense there! and yea its 14 in a strip so 2 strips of 14 5mg a day! but sometimes more! Plus i take other benzos often! lately RC like right now Etizolam! and got FlubromaoLAM

About 3 hours ago i took some Speed! i never take stims/amphetamines im not a stim user but my 'vendor' had nice clean stuff and gave me a bit! so i though why not treat myself because the way i see it with benzos im just taking them to keep the withdrawels away! and reduce Anxiety! i dont get high! the high for me is not having panic attacks and bad general anxiety!

yea i think mixing benzos in some cases can be a waste! Depends what type of benzo! like diaz! a medium acting benzo! but others like Flubro for instance! another Nitrazepam (mogadon) Purely Hypnotic! great for a sleep and long acting!

Thanks for your post i Appriciate it! im new so just getting the hang if blue light