slick_willy
Greenlighter
I started smoking weed when I was 16. It was a ton of fun at first and eventually I became an everyday smoker. Around age 20, I started using certain painkillers and anti-anxiety pills since they were really really fun to be honest, and I felt great while I was on them. I have always been told that I am very smart and capable and had support my whole life, and I think that when I was younger I took all that for granted.
Now I am 27 and I went through a couple very hard hears of anxiety, social phobia and all that, and luckily I gave up smoking for GOOD in September, although I did slip up once since then. I will not slip up again though. While I was smoking, I would be at work (sober) and a customer would walk up to my counter and I would start sweating profusely for no reason... so I decided to quit. I still have the brain fog and feel like I'm in a daze most of the time. I don't feel nearly as 'present' as I did before, and I used to be much more witty and now I feel like I fake interactions to a pretty large degree (although I hate the idea of doing that, if I don't do it I would be like a robot.) I also have blunted emotions, for example something good will happen but I will not feel the 'reward' response which is typical in that situation, or if something bad happens I almost feel numb to it. To add to that, my mom passed away 2 years ago and it is immensely painful but I feel like I just stuff that down inside and don't allow myself to cry or deal with it the way I should.
Another ongoing issue is that I am way less aware of my surroundings socially... here's an example: I used to be very funny and witty and would attract people to me without even trying (not to talk myself up) but it is not this way anymore. Someone will say something to me and I reply with a joke but it comes out wrong, or my timing is wrong, or something is generally off. Every good comedian knows that delivery is like 80% of the effectiveness of any joke, and my mojo seems to be off in this area. I still get by and people enjoy me but it's not the same, and I end up overanalyzing it too much. Sorry for all the details, it's just hard to explain but I believe it is related to the marijuana use (and probably other substances too) because I first felt this blunting and foggy-headedness while I was high on mj.
That being said, I have decided to make a huge change, one that I have been thinking about for a long, long time. I am deciding to go as all-natural and healthy as possible. So far I have given up marijuana, pills, caffeine, and even masturbation (haha no joke) hoping that given enough time, my brain will return to something more normal where I feel more natural and less distant from my surroundings. I do exercise pretty intensely 4x a week and also have a pretty clean diet at the moment (at least until school starts again) and I am also a full-time engineering student, so my brain still works enough to get by, but my memory could be better and I just know that there is room for at least some improvement.
I am creating this thread because previously I had a "I recently quit MJ, this is what it's like" kind of thread, but now I have decided to move even beyond that and get rid of every external influential substance that I can, at least for a while. I do take an antidepressant (Effexor 37.5 mg/day) and I do want to wean off this eventually but it does help me immensely and I want to tackle this bunch of issues first, and then once I've eradicated them, then I can focus on getting to 100% myself, at least chemically, haha. I hope that this thread provides hope and inspiration for anyone trying to get sober or even reduce their intake of substances, or trying to improve their lives in general. I truly believe that we experience pain because it is necessary to grow, and we need to experience pain to experience pleasure. Studies have shown that if we numb negative emotions, we will not be able to feel positive emotions as much as if we do not numb the negative ones. I have learned a lot on my journey, but I have a lot more to learn and I wish for the best for everyone trying to improve their lives and relationships. I am about 5-days caffeine and fap-free, about 15 days benzo free, and 35 days mj free. I will keep posting as things change or whenever I have time. Everybody take good care of yourselves
Now I am 27 and I went through a couple very hard hears of anxiety, social phobia and all that, and luckily I gave up smoking for GOOD in September, although I did slip up once since then. I will not slip up again though. While I was smoking, I would be at work (sober) and a customer would walk up to my counter and I would start sweating profusely for no reason... so I decided to quit. I still have the brain fog and feel like I'm in a daze most of the time. I don't feel nearly as 'present' as I did before, and I used to be much more witty and now I feel like I fake interactions to a pretty large degree (although I hate the idea of doing that, if I don't do it I would be like a robot.) I also have blunted emotions, for example something good will happen but I will not feel the 'reward' response which is typical in that situation, or if something bad happens I almost feel numb to it. To add to that, my mom passed away 2 years ago and it is immensely painful but I feel like I just stuff that down inside and don't allow myself to cry or deal with it the way I should.
Another ongoing issue is that I am way less aware of my surroundings socially... here's an example: I used to be very funny and witty and would attract people to me without even trying (not to talk myself up) but it is not this way anymore. Someone will say something to me and I reply with a joke but it comes out wrong, or my timing is wrong, or something is generally off. Every good comedian knows that delivery is like 80% of the effectiveness of any joke, and my mojo seems to be off in this area. I still get by and people enjoy me but it's not the same, and I end up overanalyzing it too much. Sorry for all the details, it's just hard to explain but I believe it is related to the marijuana use (and probably other substances too) because I first felt this blunting and foggy-headedness while I was high on mj.
That being said, I have decided to make a huge change, one that I have been thinking about for a long, long time. I am deciding to go as all-natural and healthy as possible. So far I have given up marijuana, pills, caffeine, and even masturbation (haha no joke) hoping that given enough time, my brain will return to something more normal where I feel more natural and less distant from my surroundings. I do exercise pretty intensely 4x a week and also have a pretty clean diet at the moment (at least until school starts again) and I am also a full-time engineering student, so my brain still works enough to get by, but my memory could be better and I just know that there is room for at least some improvement.
I am creating this thread because previously I had a "I recently quit MJ, this is what it's like" kind of thread, but now I have decided to move even beyond that and get rid of every external influential substance that I can, at least for a while. I do take an antidepressant (Effexor 37.5 mg/day) and I do want to wean off this eventually but it does help me immensely and I want to tackle this bunch of issues first, and then once I've eradicated them, then I can focus on getting to 100% myself, at least chemically, haha. I hope that this thread provides hope and inspiration for anyone trying to get sober or even reduce their intake of substances, or trying to improve their lives in general. I truly believe that we experience pain because it is necessary to grow, and we need to experience pain to experience pleasure. Studies have shown that if we numb negative emotions, we will not be able to feel positive emotions as much as if we do not numb the negative ones. I have learned a lot on my journey, but I have a lot more to learn and I wish for the best for everyone trying to improve their lives and relationships. I am about 5-days caffeine and fap-free, about 15 days benzo free, and 35 days mj free. I will keep posting as things change or whenever I have time. Everybody take good care of yourselves
