cyberius
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2013
- Messages
- 1,571
I have done most every drug you can name at least once; heroin, coke, LSD, MDMA, you name it. I've always preferred sertogenic stimulants over any other type of drug however, and I abused them as much as I could. Nothing was like 4-FA however. 4-FA always encouraged my bad habit of "pushing the limits"; no matter what the dosage was, the positive effects would never get any better past a ceiling level. MDMA, methylone, and most other euphoric stimulants like those have a level where the euphoria stops increasing but I've never honestly hit it even with very high doses. But with 4-FA I've done doses up to 300mg at once in the past, and I've binged on up to 800mg in a night. Never had I once gotten past this same level of euphoria. This was oral however, I've never really snorted 4-FA because it burns worse than methamphetamine (Which literally feels like you're inhaling fire). A combination of snorting/ingesting eyeballed doses of 4-Fluoro-Amphetamine almost killed me, and it sure as hell put a heavy weight on my family. I was playing with fire for two years starting on December 27, 2012; and I finally got burnt.
[8/21/2014]
[1:00PM] I recieve my special gameboy cartridge in the mail! My mother checks it out and confidently hands it to me thinking it's just a game (I have a history with receiving drugs by mail...). I melt the trip of a pen cap and unscrew the gameboy cartridge to get my 1 gram baggie of 4-FA.
[12:00AM] Parents went to bed, hooray! I go into the bathroom to make a big parachute full of 4-FA to start my trip!
[12:20AM] Effects should be coming on soon, but I wanted to make the trip come on hard. I pour out some 4-FA and chop up two lines, and swiftly inhale each with a straw.
[12:25AM] The burn was very very bad, but it finally dissipated and left me with a very runny nose. Feeling alert and lightly stimulated.
[12:45AM] Effects kick in. I'm feeling mildly euphoric and stimulated. I decide to bump up the trip with a little more 4-FA on a parachute.
[1:00AM] Effects are intense, but I wanted an experience like a high dose of MDMA. I dump tons of 4-FA into a parachute, and swallow it.
[1:25AM] Feeling heavy... I get off my computer and lay in bed. I'm getting the same feeling I had when I took 450mg of MDMA. I'm a little concerned...
[NOTE] I remember only small bits and pieces of the main part of the following 45 minutes. I do not believe I blacked out, but I know I had a very hard trip.
[1:3?AM] My eyes are darting around the room, I can't understand anything that's going on. I feel a very intense stimulation and heaviness. Time is going backwards and forwards at a disturbing rate. I can't do anything, I'm fully subject to the drugs effect and I have to ride it out.
[??
?AM] I'm squirming in my bed unable to read or process coherent thought, and everything I look at is zooming in towards me even though I'm not doing anything. Emotion is futile, I feel nothing, I am nothing. I barely remember who or where I am.
[2:10AM] I came down a lot, I'm feeling much more clear, but I feel uncomfortable and mentally distressed. By this time, I have probably drank 6 bottles of water (This is normal, that's what it took to quench my thirst. I guess I should of had more electrolytes???). I shake off the experience as a minor overdose and go about my business.
[2:15AM] I laid in bed thinking my parents were coming up to my room. I couldn't refill my water bottle after this or use the bathroom in fear of getting caught. I laid in bed for 6 hours. Intense paranoia and hyper vigilance noted.
[8:15AM] I held in my urine for about 8 hours at this point and my bladder hurt very badly. I go downstairs and take 4 benadryls (100mg Diphenhydramine) to get some sleep.
[12:00PM] I can't sleep any longer. I feel fucking terrible and hungover. I go eat some crackers to stop the jitters and take a shower.
[12?PM] I'm in the shower, and I just had a seizure from standing up too fast! I fell down in the tub and started bashing my arms and legs against the sides of the tub. At this point I shake it off thinking positively.
[8:00PM] Parents are somewhat suspicous of my behavior today, and they told me my pulse was rapid around 4:00PM. I rejoice when they go out on a date together to leave me home alone so I can sleep...
[8:15PM] I stand up too fast and have another fucking seizure! It was very short lived, and this time I fell against some boxes in my room and flailed around like the first time. I am also having increasingly apparent delusions. I see people and things that aren't there in the middle of my vision rarely... I'm extremely afraid I'm going to die.
[8:20PM] I call my girlfriend to take me to the hospital. http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/732758-OD-d-on-4-FA-and-lived Bluelight has encouraged me to go, and the users there might of had just saved my life.
[9:00PM] On the ride there, I was hallucinating more and more, but I arrived without any other complications.
[9:10PM] Get into emergency room and tell nurses I took a high dose of amphetamines, 4-Flouro-Amphetamine a designer drug in particular. I was put on IV fluids and electrolytes for about 4 hours. My resting heart rate was at 150.
[10:00PM] Resting heart rate ~135. Hallucinations are gone, I feel much better and "cleaner" mentally and physically.
[11:00PM] EKG done, nurses say I suffered no cardiac damage Thank fucking god.
[1:00AM] Resting heart rate ~120. Parents arrive, and after arguing and both of them and my girlfriend crying, we talked about my unknown history of substance abuse. I told them everything, every drug I used, and where I got it. I was administered 1mg of Lorazapam (Ativan) to lower my heart rate to a normal level.
[2:25AM] My parents drive me home. I'm getting extreme hallucinations of everything thats more than 10 feet away from me. I see the road bending upwards, cartoon characters battling on the side of the road, bridges above us falling down and us driving through the wreckage. I feel mentally clear though, ativan has visuals like high doses of psychedelics!!!
[3:00AM] I fall asleep after giving my parents every drug and showing them every hiding spot I used to destroy. I handed over 17 hits of 25c-NBOMe, 200mg of AM-2201, 2.9g of cannabis, 24mg 2C-P that night.
[1:00PM] I wake up crying because of how bad I fucked up, and for the first time of my life I thought I wanted to kill myself. This feeling ended after I realized it was just the effects of the drugs, and my neurotransmitters are terribly fucked up. The emotional low of this drug was worse than any other I had experienced by far.
[3 1/2 weeks later, Now]
I feel normal. I've gotten rid of all the drugs in my house, and I've made lots of positive changes to my life. I've been eating healthy, taking karate, playing sports, and spending time with my girlfriend of three years. I started my senior year of highschool badly but I see a bright future for myself if I avoid drugs. It's crazy thinking about how my life almost ended that one fucking awful day. I'm having some light after effects/brain damage I really hope it heals over time. I sometimes space out when I'm having a conversation, completely losing track of whats going on around me, I sometimes need people to repeat what they say because my mind doesn't "catch" it the first time even though I heard it, my mind will completely blank sometimes when I'm in the middle of a sentence. While I have been thinking of drugs time to time, I have decided to take a long break if not a complete hiatus. Maybe in a couple years I will have enough self control to take a dose of ecstasy and maybe I'll have enough self control to smoke a joint then too. Then again, I'm not counting the days, I don't want to die early, I want a long healthy life.
Thanks to all that made me think clearly and go to the hospital.
[8/21/2014]
[1:00PM] I recieve my special gameboy cartridge in the mail! My mother checks it out and confidently hands it to me thinking it's just a game (I have a history with receiving drugs by mail...). I melt the trip of a pen cap and unscrew the gameboy cartridge to get my 1 gram baggie of 4-FA.
[12:00AM] Parents went to bed, hooray! I go into the bathroom to make a big parachute full of 4-FA to start my trip!
[12:20AM] Effects should be coming on soon, but I wanted to make the trip come on hard. I pour out some 4-FA and chop up two lines, and swiftly inhale each with a straw.
[12:25AM] The burn was very very bad, but it finally dissipated and left me with a very runny nose. Feeling alert and lightly stimulated.
[12:45AM] Effects kick in. I'm feeling mildly euphoric and stimulated. I decide to bump up the trip with a little more 4-FA on a parachute.
[1:00AM] Effects are intense, but I wanted an experience like a high dose of MDMA. I dump tons of 4-FA into a parachute, and swallow it.
[1:25AM] Feeling heavy... I get off my computer and lay in bed. I'm getting the same feeling I had when I took 450mg of MDMA. I'm a little concerned...
[NOTE] I remember only small bits and pieces of the main part of the following 45 minutes. I do not believe I blacked out, but I know I had a very hard trip.
[1:3?AM] My eyes are darting around the room, I can't understand anything that's going on. I feel a very intense stimulation and heaviness. Time is going backwards and forwards at a disturbing rate. I can't do anything, I'm fully subject to the drugs effect and I have to ride it out.
[??
?AM] I'm squirming in my bed unable to read or process coherent thought, and everything I look at is zooming in towards me even though I'm not doing anything. Emotion is futile, I feel nothing, I am nothing. I barely remember who or where I am. [2:10AM] I came down a lot, I'm feeling much more clear, but I feel uncomfortable and mentally distressed. By this time, I have probably drank 6 bottles of water (This is normal, that's what it took to quench my thirst. I guess I should of had more electrolytes???). I shake off the experience as a minor overdose and go about my business.
[2:15AM] I laid in bed thinking my parents were coming up to my room. I couldn't refill my water bottle after this or use the bathroom in fear of getting caught. I laid in bed for 6 hours. Intense paranoia and hyper vigilance noted.
[8:15AM] I held in my urine for about 8 hours at this point and my bladder hurt very badly. I go downstairs and take 4 benadryls (100mg Diphenhydramine) to get some sleep.
[12:00PM] I can't sleep any longer. I feel fucking terrible and hungover. I go eat some crackers to stop the jitters and take a shower.
[12
?PM] I'm in the shower, and I just had a seizure from standing up too fast! I fell down in the tub and started bashing my arms and legs against the sides of the tub. At this point I shake it off thinking positively.[8:00PM] Parents are somewhat suspicous of my behavior today, and they told me my pulse was rapid around 4:00PM. I rejoice when they go out on a date together to leave me home alone so I can sleep...
[8:15PM] I stand up too fast and have another fucking seizure! It was very short lived, and this time I fell against some boxes in my room and flailed around like the first time. I am also having increasingly apparent delusions. I see people and things that aren't there in the middle of my vision rarely... I'm extremely afraid I'm going to die.
[8:20PM] I call my girlfriend to take me to the hospital. http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/732758-OD-d-on-4-FA-and-lived Bluelight has encouraged me to go, and the users there might of had just saved my life.
[9:00PM] On the ride there, I was hallucinating more and more, but I arrived without any other complications.
[9:10PM] Get into emergency room and tell nurses I took a high dose of amphetamines, 4-Flouro-Amphetamine a designer drug in particular. I was put on IV fluids and electrolytes for about 4 hours. My resting heart rate was at 150.
[10:00PM] Resting heart rate ~135. Hallucinations are gone, I feel much better and "cleaner" mentally and physically.
[11:00PM] EKG done, nurses say I suffered no cardiac damage Thank fucking god.
[1:00AM] Resting heart rate ~120. Parents arrive, and after arguing and both of them and my girlfriend crying, we talked about my unknown history of substance abuse. I told them everything, every drug I used, and where I got it. I was administered 1mg of Lorazapam (Ativan) to lower my heart rate to a normal level.
[2:25AM] My parents drive me home. I'm getting extreme hallucinations of everything thats more than 10 feet away from me. I see the road bending upwards, cartoon characters battling on the side of the road, bridges above us falling down and us driving through the wreckage. I feel mentally clear though, ativan has visuals like high doses of psychedelics!!!
[3:00AM] I fall asleep after giving my parents every drug and showing them every hiding spot I used to destroy. I handed over 17 hits of 25c-NBOMe, 200mg of AM-2201, 2.9g of cannabis, 24mg 2C-P that night.
[1:00PM] I wake up crying because of how bad I fucked up, and for the first time of my life I thought I wanted to kill myself. This feeling ended after I realized it was just the effects of the drugs, and my neurotransmitters are terribly fucked up. The emotional low of this drug was worse than any other I had experienced by far.
[3 1/2 weeks later, Now]
I feel normal. I've gotten rid of all the drugs in my house, and I've made lots of positive changes to my life. I've been eating healthy, taking karate, playing sports, and spending time with my girlfriend of three years. I started my senior year of highschool badly but I see a bright future for myself if I avoid drugs. It's crazy thinking about how my life almost ended that one fucking awful day. I'm having some light after effects/brain damage I really hope it heals over time. I sometimes space out when I'm having a conversation, completely losing track of whats going on around me, I sometimes need people to repeat what they say because my mind doesn't "catch" it the first time even though I heard it, my mind will completely blank sometimes when I'm in the middle of a sentence. While I have been thinking of drugs time to time, I have decided to take a long break if not a complete hiatus. Maybe in a couple years I will have enough self control to take a dose of ecstasy and maybe I'll have enough self control to smoke a joint then too. Then again, I'm not counting the days, I don't want to die early, I want a long healthy life.
Thanks to all that made me think clearly and go to the hospital.
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