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I get very afraid of dying

dsesesy

dsesesy

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I would love to be at peace with my own death. But I feel very afraid of dying and for it to just be nothing. That I am purely a product of my experiences. I would like to believe my body is just a shell and that when I die SOMETHING happens. Whether it's heaven I don't really care. I just want to still exist? Is it my ego talking, am I selfish for thinking this way? I don't think I'm particularly special or anything I just feel like it would be so terrible for me to disappear completely. For ANYONE to disappear completely. I am pretty young and immature and still attempting to figure out a lot of things in life so maybe that is a contributor to my inability to understand it? I don't know.
 
When you sleep and do not dream, do you die? If you slept and did not wake, what is the difference between 8 hours and infinity? The gap may be a gulf but you wake rested not having known you didn't exist for 8 hours. Don't let your fear drive your experiences because you could be missing out on the meaning of life itself.
 
We experience oblivion every night when we fall asleep. If there is nothing at death you won't come back and be able to reflect on it, so no biggie :) But in terms of life itself, if there is nothing at death, then it should serve as inspiration for you to make the most of your life.

Personally I feel that we're all just a thought in the mind of something else. A part of us doesn't want to die.. that's our survival ego. But it isn't you, the real you. I think you're confusing your survival ego with the real you. When it comes down to it we're just organic robots put here to fuck and shit, basically.. that's our function as animals. The real tragedy is that millions of people waste their life giving time and energy so some mega rich cunt can get even richer off their back, or aren't given the opportunity to live at all.
 
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We experience oblivion every night when we fall asleep. If there is nothing at death you won't come back and be able to reflect on it, so no biggie :) But in terms of life itself, if there is nothing at death, then it should serve as inspiration for you to make the most of your life.

Personally I feel that we're all just a thought in the mind of something else. A part of us doesn't want to die.. that's our survival ego. But it isn't you, the real you. I think you're confusing your survival ego with the real you. When it comes down to it we're just organic robots put here to fuck and shit, basically.. that's our function as animals. The real tragedy is that millions of people waste their life giving time and energy so some mega rich cunt can get even richer off their back, or aren't given the opportunity to live at all.
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reminded me of this..


I feel like I've experienced death before. Or atleast someone who isnt me has. Part of them thought, I was bummed out, so im going to try and die, but not actually be childish and hurt myself. I'm not into submissive shit or pain either. Lol. Probably sounds like a wierd answer out of context on the computer, but it was sort of some itch that I could scratch.

if you think, wow, itd be easier to just drop all of this, then, actually die, and come back, it puts things in perspective. Gets that whole sort of extremist, nihilist, destruction vibe outta your system.

After you experience death a handful of times, it doesn't shock you. Also, most things seem a lot less threatening. This could tangent pretty far here, but you can see how many things people fear because of death to their body,.. and fear of things ending and losing control. Eh. :):\
 
i had an interesting 'death' experience in the depths of a 5meoDMT trip. it was set in the time of the french revolution and i was being guillotined. the vision was incredibly real: the smell, the sounds, the ominous walk up the steps, etc.

i had heard somebody say a few days earlier "at the moment of death all life's questions are answered". i was thinking about this at the point at which my head was cut off. my trip moved on somewhere else after that... if you have tried 5meoDMT you'll know that it's pretty intense. i was, during the trip in danger of freaking myself out.

however, i kept coming back to the saying and it was, rather, a really serene experience.

anyway, if the saying is true, i can't wait to find out where all those lost socks went :)

alasdair
 
If you accept that you're going to die anyway, it's just a matter of time. If it's going to happen no matter what, then isn't it better to make peace with it rather than fight, resent and fear something so inevitable?

I would fight for my life just as much as the next man, but if it came down to me dieing, I would hope that I would be grateful for all the wonderful experiences that I've had rather than resent the future ones I could have had had I not died.


When I think about it, I've experienced so much joy and happiness, and I would've missed out on a lot had I died when i was, say, 15 years old. So if I die today i'll still feel like I accomplished a lot, lived a lot and be grateful for this opportunity. I'm not saying I would have an easy time accepting death by any means, but I think if that's my perspective then hopefully it would be a lot easier than otherwise.


But I wouldn't say i'm afraid of death on a day to day basis like you say you are, I'm very happy to have made it this far.
 
I often forget that why I am happy with experiencing here is often at the expense of something that wouldn't make me happy, at another part of it... But I know I'm not saying that right. My body eats. My teeth are sharp. Without "negative" positive doesn't have a place. Sometimes it feels like my goal is to escape the cycle of this, this fire that is and allows for this place. That my experience comes from hardening and softening. That to be at all requires making something non being. That I get myself off on suffering, and it translates to my own suffering. That I require weakness. Life is an argument. Sometimes I like to argue. But the argument must end for us, sometime.

That being said, I don't believe we ever truly die. We do die and we become not we, but a new we, eventually, that's essentially the same, but different. But the same..

I don't quite know how to say it. But what we are depends on suffering..
I know I'm missing something.
Or feel like I am.

But I also at times fear death. Here, I've tried to get into why sometimes I want the final death (to escape this cycle), but I forget. I've processed to that point before but right now, not recently. Right now I'm in the place where I'd like to keep experiencing. And with that, to comfort myself, I might say that it exists in the first place... That we exist and we know nothing else, so why would it stop? That we will definitely keep going, but again, we might be so far different from the phase here that we won't be us, attached to this life, these wants....
 
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I had to read this a couple times. I think I partially get what you're saying. There can be no good without evil for a shallow example? It's almost like I feel what you're trying to say but can't quite put it into words. I hope that there is something next, even if it isn't quite the same.
 
Why does the lack of memory prior to birth not freak you out as much as the prospect of death?

Whether there's something that comes after or there's nothing, you're going to end up there either way. Why worry about it now?
 
Because we experience time in a linear fashion- past now future. We can't be anxious about our past, because we can't change it, but we can be anxious about our future...

While the references to sleep being like death many posts above work to a degree, I imagine it may be more difficult to fall asleep if you knew you wouldn't wake up again. We because of habit expect to wake up. We remember the day before. We don't remember before our lives (not commonly accepted, and any images I have I've chalked up to imagination, because of course I was an awesome red skinned white guy in a rainforest and a benevolent hunter-king/chieftain... Not that I dismiss it).

dsesesy- I'm not sure how to explain, as you could tell. I don't get it like I do sometimes. I'm in argument. Its all "good". But finding the balanced balance is hard. So many of the things I've found as special have come about because of destruction. The things I'm entertained by... Of course strength is shown. But also weakness.

Supernovae, some of the most destructive forces are responsible for the oxygen carrying iron in our blood (and many other elements, we are "made" of death) I guess part of what makes me unafraid when I'm facing death is that I have faith. Faith in the process.

But if I could cheat the natural timing of my death... If I could augment my body enough and gradually replace what would expire, and take control of things, to be perfect, I'd probably stay around indefinitely. I admit, it seems one reason I'm okay with death is because I'm tired of suffering my life. Not that I want to die... But I accept it.
 
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everyone fears death at one point or another, but I think that Death is what makes life worthwile. without death there isn't life, and thinking that one day you'll die you should try and enjoy every moment that you have left.
Also, can you avoid death by worring about it?
It is just another part of life, and everyone should accept it as such. IMHO
 
ParappaTheRapper said:
if you think, wow, itd be easier to just drop all of this, then, actually die, and come back, it puts things in perspective. Gets that whole sort of extremist, nihilist, destruction vibe outta your system.
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That's what enlightenment is, dying completely and coming back. With a drug trip however it's different.. you can go through the death experience, but you don't die. To die means the death of all your egos, and that is incredibly painful.. and more so when you come back to the body, because you see the world for what it is.. an illusion/projection/stage play. But you also realize none of this is actually real and that it doesn't matter one way or the other.

The person who said they'd like to stay around forever in the body, you would get bored of it in the end. Or you would get wise eventually and realize how fake things are, and at that point probably start wanting real answers. You'd probably hunger for death after awhile. If we've existed before we were born it's a good thing we don't remember it.. can you imagine how tedious it would be knowing a million years of existence doing similar things over and over and over?
 
^If referring to my words... I said indefinitely, not forever. I agree I may hunger for death (I have at times already, related), but I would like to perfect myself. Rather, I'd like to experience an ideal. I'd like to be healthy. I'd like to start a family. But in this life I haven't been healthy. I haven't had control. Pain has rarely left me. And I find it hard to approach another with a demon like this. I kept on trying it for much of my life. Then I became aware of it (a sickness), and have taken a step back.

I would want to dominate life. Show it who is boss. Learn as much as possible. Make my own answers. And leave when I please. I've been a slave too long. I don't mind working/serving, but I want to choose what I serve (but I may just be unaware that I have).

I don't mean to say its possible. Yet.
 
I believe that humans all have some sort of 'god drive': we desire some combination of omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence, etc. My orientation is a hunger for omniscience. The human condition is tragic in that no one can ever fully satisfy this drive, and in death we meet the ultimate limits to its satisfaction in a very direct way. At the same time, it is some form of this drive that motivates us at the deepest level in all pursuits.

ebola
 
OP, do you fear being dead, or do you fear the process of dying? Fear of being dead essentially boils down to fear of the unknown. The latter, however, is more a fear of pain, loss of control, and a reminder of all the loose ends we never had a chance to tie up in this life. The treatment for each of these is different. If you fear the unknown and unfamiliar, there are techniques for overcoming this, and becoming at peace with uncertainty. I'm not a psychologist or clergyman, but I would imagine exposure therapy is probably what this involves. On the other hand, if it's decline, decay, and loss that gives you the heebie-jeebies, then what you need to get comfortable with is letting go, finding closure, and finishing what you start and not leaving unfinished business. The physical pain of dying, in my experience working professionally with the elderly, is best ameliorated by a thick cocoon of warm and meaningful interpersonal relationships right up to the end.

A great many thinkers and seekers throughout human history have come to the conclusion that being is a cyclical thing. The old breaks down and dissipates, allowing the new to form. We're reminded of this every spring when new life springs forth from the earth, and at the heart of most springtime festivals, anthropologically, is the hope and faith that our own lives follow this same cyclical pattern of rebirth and renewal. Personally, I find it quite sensible that what follows death, subjectively, is some form of rebirth. Do with this what you will.

For the record, I am a man of faith, albeit in a minimalist sense -- I believe that I am living the life I am right now as part of some greater plan (and so are you), though I cannot fathom what that plan might be, or who the Great Planner is. I've come to realize that my existential angst is in many ways the exact opposite of a fear of dying. Despite its many joys and ample beauty, I find [at least this form of] sentient existence so painful that the hope that it's part of some greater cosmic plan is the only thing that makes it bearable for me. If you could prove to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm a random one-off accident in an indifferent universe, I'd gladly die tomorrow. Your mileage may vary; the various secular Humanist movements have all sorts of beautifully written literature arguing that this life is more than worthwhile on its own merits, and needs no connection to anything external to be liveable. Personally I was never sold on this idea in any formulation, and have noticed that those whose hearts are taken by it tend to be people whose lives are markedly less hard than most of humanity.
 
You have my sympathy because I nearly had a panic attack yesterday from getting too high and fearing that I am living in a definite virtual reality overlapping hyperspace, with my human existence guaranteed to end. I'd take anything that would make me feel better about mortality, sometimes even complete lies. One approach is trying to observe our lives independently of our attachments to them, i.e. as decades of toil in a decaying body, full of disappointment, devoid of meaning. Then non-existence, by comparison, appears to be much more preferable.

Or distract yourself somehow to take your mind off the horror.
 
Death anxiety is a primordial fear possessed by all homo sapiens, and a is characteristic (though arguably not an idiosyncrasy) of hominins and hominids. As a culture-shaping feature — which has spurred the development of highly-detailed religions, complex rituals, preliterate art, the foundations and impetus of philosophy and science, and much more — its provenance may even preceed or coincide with the period of behavioral modernity and subsequent advent of complex linguistic expression.


While I enjoy and appreciate the astounding insight and percipience of ancient intellectuals such as Abhinavagupta, Pa nini, Socrates, Guatama, Confucius, et al., none of them have, as per their own definitions, overcome this primordial fear or death anxiety. The genius of Buddha, for example, was not his perseverance in attempting to attain a state of vanquished dukkha and his subsequent awakening (awakening being no more than transcending his primordial fear and innate consternation and disquietude — an impossibly). His brilliance resided in his persuading others that they too can become undo their human, cut themselves free of the fetters of their selfhood and transmogrify into a sort of quasi-notself! A very self-centered and self-depended way of relinquishing your self. But just as the object cannot create itself, it cannot uncreate itself. A robot programmed to dismantle itself will only fail once enough parts are removed to disable the robot from completing the task.


Buddha and all other sages since time immemorial were not charlatans. They were misled to an illogical conclusion by their cognitive faculties and thinking too hard. Of that we humans are each day all guilty. So, the Eckhart Tolles, Oshos, U. G. Krishnamurtis, and other such egoless superhumans and their cohorts live in ratiocinative illusion and self-deception.


Jesus, nor shrooms, nor Buddha, nor westernized Hinduism, and nor lukewarm adherence to fashionable western adaptations of Eastern mysticism, nor some New Age tarot card-reading, psychic, astrologer guy with dreads and an effete voice can help you become less animal or accept your eventual death and putrefaction.




But some good-quality dope? Now, that's something else.
 
^^^ So you're saying that no one can possibly accept Death and drop the fear of mortality?
I cannot prove you wrong (nor right) but I'm inclined to disagree. you may be 100% right for all I know though.

also, I don't think that not fearing death is a way to un-do yourself, I actually think it is discovering your truest self.
 
@ Nom de Plume: I don't think you understand what Buddha and the other genuine enlightened people experienced.. it's not something that is reached by logic or any cognitive faculty, it is an experience where you become.. and it happens beyond the mind (in fact the mind is killed, all egos drop, and you get behind it all). An enlightened person has already experienced total death and knows this world to be a mental fiction, thus there will be no anxiety of death because they know beyond all doubt that this whole thing (including personality and body) simply do not matter in the same sense as it did pre-enlightenment because they've experience directly a more superior/real dimension.

Fear of death is innate and built in. You can rationalize that you're not afraid but at the moment of death that ego will drop and you will see you were still afraid, so in that sense I agree with what you said. Enlightened people are in a very different position though - Ramana Maharshi said just before his death, "they say that I am dying, but I am not going away. Where could I go? I am here".
 
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