Follow Up
Hi guys, now that its several months after the experience, I think I can look at the experience in retrospect better and will try to elaborate more.
I will try to answer the questions in a Q&A format addressing the questions I encountered in the post:
Q Did you black out?
A Only after taking the phenazapam.
Q Had you done this before?
A Yes, unfortunately we had spit .5g of 2ce once before with similar results.
Q What did the visuals look like?
A Get ready... I've never seen anything like it. This is how it went down... after taking the 14mg, I started to feel the uneasy 2cX come-up. The come up on 2ce is particularly rough for me. About 10 years ago, I had the unfortunate privilege of smoking a joint laced with some unknown chemical while candy flipping that fucked my mind up for about 2 years. Psychedelic come ups now makes my mind recoil in horror. Anyway, the visuals were completely otherworldly. Imagine the normal world you see, completely dissolving before your eyes and is replaced within a matter of minutes with an alternate alien world. When I say replaced, I mean replaced completely. The room was filled with what appeared to be vapors and pastel colored smoke. All the statuettes in the room's faces were animated. My Buddha incense burner would turn its head and look at me and his face would change into a million different expressions of emotion, much like what Arjuna witnessed when Krishna showed him his "Universal Form". We both could see almost an infinite number of quantum probabilities happening all at the same time. We would walk into the room from using the bathroom or something, and then continue for an hour to see each other continuing to walk into the room in a variety of different ways. It's like time had broken. We could see things happening (along with a million other possibilities) a good 10 seconds before they happened, what was happening right then, and about 30 seconds after something would happen... all mixed together in a much larger version of "Now", with the past present and future completely overlapping each other. This started occurring at about +3hrs into it. I could see the ceiling fan spinning on the floor and walls. All of the posters in the room was everywhere in the room... meaning I'd look at walls that didn't have posters, and there would be posters clearly visible on the walls, that we BOTH could see. I should mention, that I believe we were seeing the same things at the same time. There was a lone thumb tack in the room that appeared to have 10,000 other versions of itself in every conceivable location all over the room. At about +5hours, things began teleporting rather than moving. I have a habit of waving my hand in front of my eyes and observing the tracers to gauge how hard I'm tripping, as I'm sure many of you do. I was no longer seeing tracers. When I moved my hand, it would dematerialize in its current position, then would reassimilate itself into the position it had been moved to. I could see what looked like individual grains, or molecules leaving their stationary position, then moving VERY fast to their new location. Sometimes, they would appear in the wrong place and I'd have tiny holes in my hand. Then at about +6 hours, I REALLY started tripping. this is when we both started to look at the white wall for the next 1.5 days. On this wall, I saw what appeared to be the wall coming apart in small cubes and reconstructing into 3d forms on the wall. I saw serpents, strange writings, religious archetypes, aliens, reptiles, tentacles, DNA etc. The ceiling spackling looked like a crazy ant farm, moving so fast it was hard to tell what was going on. During all of this, we couldn't walk, couldn't talk... couldn't do anything except lay there and take it. The smoke and vapors I had seen in the room earlier had given way to full fledged 3d objects hovering in the room. It really didn't look like "air" they were materializing in, but rather some semi-liquid medium. I saw that the patterns I had seen while previously tripping for the last 15 years were only the surface of larger 4d+ objects falling through our 3d space, (just as humans are). I could then see in the muck of squirming tentacles and snakes, that all vertebrates have the "serpent" in them, most visibly the spine. I realized that my mind, and my animal body were separate, and we are external alien intelligences that are in possession of these animal bodies. I could then feel the animal body writhing about and I was at the reigns. I then felt this animal serpent spirit rising up my spine all the way to the base of my neck. I realized that my "kundalini" had finally awoken and realized the true nature of sex in this animal body. This wasn't some fleeting revelation either. It is still in this condition.
Q Did you learn anything?
A YES! it appears that these events triggered some sort of awakening in me. Just a few days after this happened terrible things started to befall me in my life. I look at this as some sort of karmic workout. I got to go to jail and have my license removed for 6 months. I My mother is suddenly dying in a nursing home now. My best friend in high school died in his sleep about a month ago. 3 days later one of my best friends of my adult life died in a car wreck. I know that I have been living in a manner contradictory to the way we are supposed to live. The Hindus believe that if terrible things happen to you and your family and friends die, it's Brahma smiling on you and removing your physical attachments so it will be easier for you to let go of after death. I've started exercising and working out and eating more healthy. I've stopped smoking. I'm even spending more time with my children because all this showed me what role they play in this "circle of life".
Q Are you fully recovered from the experience.
A Yes. I'm not feeling any negative effects that I can attribute to the massive overdose of 2ce. I've changed many things in my life because of it though.
Q Will you ever eat 2ce again?
A Perhaps, only this time it will be in the 10-15mg range and boosters will NOT be done. I would do it in a setting where I was possibly introducing one of my friends to it (camping perhaps). I will not be consuming it at any regular intervals though and will make sure many many many months have passed between sessions. The way I handled it in the past is irresponsible, and I'm lucky the 2ce/2ci gods were smiling on me that day. I feel it very feasible that I/we could have died from it. I believe this is almost like a second chance and I'm not going to fuck it up this time around.
I hope this answers your questions. I'm very sorry it has taken this long to respond to your questions about the experience. I really do care about the bluelight community and the people on it. I have known many of you since the late 1990's from various drug boards and A.D.P./RCML days, but I went by a different name back then. If you were active on ADP from 1998-2003 I'm sure we've spoke before... or maybe you remember #drugs on chatnet?
Anyway, I'd love to hear from any of my old friends, shoot me an PM. (this is of course a different username than I used back in the day)
