Well I tried dmt again, through a home made lightbulb device. We used it by burning the stuff until the bulb was full of thick dmt vapour, inhaling, then while holding it in we were cooking it again so that when we breathed out the dmt there was another full thicklly filled bulb ready, the process is very quick if you do it right, after the first burn the DMT is already hot so it fills up again very quickly. You don't need to slowly inhale or anything, you get the whole hit in one quick go, but its real gross and harsh on the lungs like this, it can be a struggle not to cough, but it's certainly not impossible, I didn't cough.
I didn't breakthrough again but this time it was by choice, I knew that if I inhaled the bulb again i would break through.
I looked down at my hand, about to smoke another full chamber which had been readied within seconds of the last inhalation, I realised I was hesitating and that it was now or never (well not for this ride), it was charging up and that last bulb would have completed the process. The world was as if it was electrically charged, and it was building to a climax. I knew this, though I don't know how or why. I just did. I didn't inhale though.
Geometrical lines were on absolutely everything around me they were cracks, like the world was cracked in a very special way.
Hyperfast dots ran along these fractuated slits, and as it built up they started whispering to me, crawling all over me because I was just as cracked as everthing else, yet they talked too fast and high pitched for me to understand, at least it seemed that way.
My hand started to break apart, fractured pieces of the world were beginning to do the same, it seemed to last so long but it slowed there. The things running across me were on the other side, trying to talk to me, excited that I was about to let the wall of my fractured space-time completely shatter and meet them in their world. I didn't see the other side though, and I'm glad I didn't because I think the fact that I hesitated was a good enough reason to have done it in itself. (If that makes any sense)
I think I had to completely disintegrate along with the universe to visit the dmt-space, If I still had a body, even a fractured one that had started to come apart, I would not be able to exist in the other realm. I didn't actually think this, I
knew it. It makes perfect sense to me given the experience.
I did however remain in this state for some time, it felt like hours, looking at a partially decomposing universe, completely awestruck. I knew I hadn't broken through because I somehow knew in my heart that I had to shatter completely apart yet it had slowed, but that didn't matter at the time because what I was experiencing was so dumbfoundedly amazing anyway. It was much more intense than my first failed attempt at a breakthrough, which was also incredibly amazing.
But that was beautiful amazing, this time it was too strange to be beautiful in any normal sense, it was just so damned weird, much more intense, and I understood something about it inside of me.
It's really in a different league to the traditional psychedelics, even on this sub-breakthrough dose it was more profound than can be imagined by one who hasn't been there.
What strikes me as strange was the fact that I had some sort of contact with entities, they were buzzing around the cracks and trying to talk to me. I've never heard of entity contact on what I know in my heart to be a sub breakthrough dose, albeit about as far as you can possibly go without completely breaking through. Yet they were there, waiting for me, exited over me, and all over me.
I don't know why I had hesitated, I think it was a combination of the fact that what had so quickly started going on was so intense, and the fact that I was functioning on little sleep, and probably a healthy dose of fear.
I know that this method is a definite for breaking through as long as you have a good technique.
I know I could have broken through, even if I hadn't known this, I could have done it all even faster.
It comes on very quickly though.
If you have trouble, you could even make a couple of bulbs and fill them all at once so you can do as much as you want to, insanely quickly. I'd reccommend this if you aren't experienced with using them.
I'm still amazed over that experience, it hasn't left my mind all day. I will use the substance again, likely sometime soon providing nothing stressful pops up in my life before I have the chance to gather my thoughts. That was an ordeal. An amazing ordeal.
I am completely confident in being able to break through next time, which I think contributed to the anxiety or whatever it was that made me hesitate.
The idea of going further than what I have already seen is too full on for me to put into words, as what I have already experienced defies my imagination.
But I want to know what lies behind those damned cracks when all the pieces fall away, and I plan to find out.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
