Can cuddles be taught?

He everyone, yup i'm tapped tonight so i'm sure come morning there'll be a heap of stuff by me.
I was thinking though, as you all know I went away with my man for the weekend. Now the question I want to ask is can cuddles be taught? And this is why...
I'm a pretty touchy-feely person if we're sitting on the couch I have to snuggle or lay all over you, I love to be hugged and petted. Now MrKitty is not a huggy person he doesn't really like cuddles much, or so he says, and he doesn't like PDA's. He was never cuddled much when he was younger, and I know it's a bit foregin to him.
Now this is something that is fundamental to who I am, it's not something that I can stop doing. And although I know he's just not touchy-feely, I really hate that he won't snuggle and cuddle.
This weekend though, when we were laying in bed and drifting off to sleep he let me cuddle him, and even played with my hair as i drifted into dreamland. And when we were on the couch it's the first time that he's actually cuddled, oh don't get me wrong, he's given me hugs and stuff and let me lay all over him but is the first time I've felt that he actually participated and didn't mind.
So can cuddles be taught, is it something that the more you do, the more you like?
I'd really like your opinions on this.
Thanks and big Cuddles
Kitty
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I am an Angel... no really, I am... my halo is just a little crooked.
Find happiness:
live like there's no tomorrow
work like you don't need the money
love like you've never been hurt
dance like nobody's watching
and fuck like you're being filmed.
[This message has been edited by PsychoKitten (edited 21 August 2001).]

Seems im just following you everywhere tonight ey PsychoKitten!
To sum it up short, i dont think *cuddlez* can be taught. They are there inside of you, and if you want to show the other person, then you will. If you don't feel comfy enough, then you will hold back.
However, its pretty good how each *cuddle* is different from another Each person has its own kinda style thing

cuddling is showing affection. Some people are very good at showing it, and others just can't.
For some, showing what they feel isn't natural. You can't force them, or they will feel vulnerable and insecure. You have to let them go at their own pace. Maybe in time, he'll come around. But I hope he understands that you're a cuddly person, and you NEED cuddles sometimes, and you understand that he isn't, and don't force him to do it all the time.
But hey, if you want an instant solution to the problem - give him a pill. Who doesn't cuddle when they're rollng?!

i guess you cant teach a person to cuddle cause its a natural expression of fealings.Can he drive a car,ride a bike,shake a hand,laugh or cry?then he can cuddle!.
You said it,that he didnt have cuddles when he was younger.Also he probably hasnt been around people that expressed there fealing openlly..?
i grew up with cuddles from my mum and sister constantly and there was alot of women in my life when i was growing up.so for me it was a natural thing to do.I know friends that there where only boys in the family and they didnt bond with hugs and cuddles and talks.Maybe it was over a game of footy/cricket or watching the sports on telly,but i noticed them when we where/are older that they hold back when it comes to situations like this because its just a foreign thing.
It could be just an imbarestment(sp?)thing?though im not talking like the mucho,im a man and i dont show my fealings imbarest.More the i havnt been like this with someone before and its all new to me so i dont know what to do imbarest..?
Some people dont get it(cuddles/effection) and just long for it!and others dont get it and it seams foreign to them,that when it does happen,its strange to them cause no ones been effectionet to them before.
Talk about it with him.Im shore you have.Let him know that you love him so much that what ever he does/feal will never make you feal different about him.
The more you cuddle with him,dont smother him,the more he should feal comfortable doing the same.Sounds like his slowlly starting to be more of a cuddler?
well i hope i havnt rammbled on...
good luck P.Kitty.

I'm one of those people who didn't get openly shown much affection when younger, so subsequently its harder for me to show my feelings towards people now.
That said, I believe I have managed to made some advances in showing my feelings in the past couple of years and I'm a lot better at it than I used to be...
And as far as cuddles go, there's a few people who can attest that I love them and will dish them out at every opportunity (but yeah, only to certain people )

i have been told not to cuddle so tightly.
I "LUV" cuddling. and yes, i reckon people can learn to cuddle. I wasn't that much of a cuddleing person when i was little. But thats probly cus i was small and preferred to play with g.i.joe figures.
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B.T.S.O.M.
-When the lights are out, all woman are beautiful-

yeah my cuddling style reflects my personality generally. with people i've just met or don't know very well, i'm kinda quiet and reserved. i notice that my body language is quite defensive and i don't hug or even touch people i don't know well/trust fully unless i'm made to.
when i get to know someone, i obviously chat lots more, and touch a lot more as well. if you've ever seen me out with my mates, you'll notice we hug each other a *lot*. guy and girl friends alike, it's all on. and not just cos we're chopped either dammit!
when i'm with a girl i'm a *very* cuddly person. at the moment princess_fifi is my cuddle-buddy, and when we're together i am almost constantly touching her. mmm... love it... so warm and nice i love you Princess_fifi
but really, i'm a TUFF, HARD person so DON'T MESS WITH ME!!!
DQ.

I am so happy, it's my mans birthday today, he's just left to go home for a family dinner, I can't attend cause i have to pick up my flatmate from work.
He is getting more cuddly, which is good. He actually initiated cuddles tonight, which makes me feel like a million dollars!

"Mr President, a young kitten just lost his faith in cuddling"
"Good Lord, call the Pentagon!"
... don't mind me I watch the Simpsons too much.... and i LUUURVE cuddles

^^^ her faith

Have you considered shaving off that scratchy beard, Kitten?

Since the only response i've got to that is extremely dirty and more suited to big social... I'll just shake my head and walk away.

i'm not going to be a dirty bastard... truth...
uhhh yes cuddles can be taught... i think... i got taught how to be a cuddly sort of person by the chemicals to be honest... i went from geek boy introvert to sexy cuddly bastard in 4 hours of whuppass partying... so yeah... cuddles can be taught...
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The above slave is owned by Dagny and mentored by applesbliss...

yeah most of us get cuddly on pills... I'm talking bouts non-chemically enhanced cuddles though.
I dunno, I'm hoping they can be taught. MrKitty is getting slightly more cuddly, nowhere near as much as I am but he's starting to initiate cuddles which is nice

uhhh psychokitten... the above change WAS permanent...
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The above slave is owned by Dagny and mentored by applesbliss...

Cuddles are an acquired art learnt from the Great Masters of Cuddles. These people are similar to the Dojo of old.........
I swear cuddles are the one the i miss the most when i'm not in a relationship.
And as for that beard stuff....
LV

i LOVE hugs!... man, i just wish i had more ppl to dish em out too!...
a friend of mine has one of those lil' cutesy books called simply: HUGS!... with lil' cute illustrations and other cute cutesy things ... its got some awesome pearls of wisdom pertaining to this subject!...
ill fill yas in when i get my hands on it!... ;P~~
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rhythmatic movements in unison with others prolong an act of sensation with no limits or boundaries >

I want to know is mr kitty a blue lighter..
And if he is what does he think about you airing his dirty laundry ..
hah..

I think I'm a pretty touchy/feely person - my whole family is, although I wouldn't say that I cuddle all the time or drap myself all over my partner (unless I'm OMH then I can't help myself *giggles*) - but I do like to have some part of our bodies touching... even if it's just feet on the floor.
I don't think my touching is demanding or suffocating in anyway - it's more subtle. I was seeing someone who didn't like to touch, especially in public - but by the time we parted ways he was the same as me and liked to have one part of us touching if we were sitting, standing etc
Although having said that if I was with somone who wanted to lay over me all the time I would find it too much.... I love the contrast between the 'subtle touching' and the 'come here right now cos I just wanna grab you!'
So - I guess all this waffling is leading to maybe try the more subtle approach first and let him get used to that - then you may find he is more comfortable with your cuddles.
Ummm I hope this helps *shrugs*....

hehe William - MrKitty is not a Bluelighter... well not yet anyway. I let him read some of my posts but haven't let him read this thread
We actaully had a talk about this again last night, see I don't mind not being able to lay all over him all the time as long as there's some point of contact and I do get cuddles on occasion. He knows I'm trying really hard not to be as touchy-feely as i am normally, and he said he's starting to like our cuddles.
Now that made me feel a heap better, one of the things i love most about being in a relationship is when you just curl up together and go to sleep, he never used to curl up with me but now he lets me lay on his chest and plays with my hair and he says he likes it.
So, gradually he's learning to cuddle. He's initiating hugs more and more. I had started to feel that he didn't touch me unless he wanted to have sex, but now I know that he's just getting used to it.
So I think he's actually answered my original question by learning to cuddle and getting to like it.