what major difference have you made to someone else's life??

have you ever helped anyone make a choice that would effect their life from then on?

as an example...
have you ever talked a friend out of suicide?
have you ever given anyone advice regarding an unwanted pregnancy?
what are the effects of introducing a friend of yours to drugs?
have you ever cheered someone up when they were feeling really down?



i'll start this thread with a little story of mine, which is what really got me thinking about this topic... and hopefully give people an idea of the sort of thing i am talking about...

okay, (i'll try keep it short and sweet..) when i was at uni, i used to travel round the country going to careers markets (you know the ones you went to when you were in yrs 11 & 12, usually held in sports stadiums or big school halls where all the unis, police & army etc would give you info on their courses..)

anyways, i was at one in cronulla one time, and i spent a good 30 minutes talking to this girl about canberra uni... on our uni open day (about 3 months later) i was working as a tour guide, and she came up to me, and asked me to show her around the campus... i didnt recognize her, but she recognized me, and metioned that she had spoken to me at cronulla.. when i asked why she had come all the way down here for open day, she said it was because i had said she should come...

flash forward now to the start of the next uni year, i was at the bar, and i see the same girl, she came up and said hi, and said she had just started studying at canberra uni.... she said she loved what i showed her on the tour, so she came..

about 3 months later, she approached me again just to thank me for helping her make the decision to come to the uni.. she was having the time of her life and was so happy that she came here.... and she said she wouldnt have if it wasnt for me...

/end rambling story...


this got me thinking, as uni was a huge part of my life, my growing up, experimenting, living, having fun and making life long friends.... so, my guidance to get this girl to come to canberra uni has determined where and who she will come into contact with these growing points as well... and that kinda scared me.... i mean, that is a big life changing choice...

so it got me kinda thinking again... when i moved to sydney, i chose to live in newtown... here, i met my old housemate who is one of my best friends, almost like a brother to me... what made me like newtown was a footy trip to sydney when i was in yr 12, we stayed in newtown.. up to that point, i had never heard of the suburb in my life... so, if the coach had booked the accomodation in another suburb, i would never have met my mate...

i could go on and on with little stories like that, but i dont wanna bore yas...

so basically, i would like to:

a) thank everyone who i have met over the course of my life who has had an effect in making me the person i am today... these people would probably not be reading bluelight, and would probably not even know the effect they had on my life, cause, like when i was workign for the uni, i was just doing my job...

b) apologize to everyone that i have intentionally hurt through living my life.. just like having a good effect on people, i know just how much i have been effected by people that i have trusted hurting me... i now have a very hard, protective shell around myself, and wont let people get close.... i just hope i havent caused this sort of shell around anyone else through my actions..

c) offer advice to everyone... your actions, no matter how small or minute they may seem will have a lasting effect on people.. even if you dont realise it....


holy shit that was a PLURy post...

* I set my brother up with a friend from work - they are now engaged

* I set a school friend up with a karate mate (well they met through me) they are now living together

* I've helped cheer a friend up after being dumped and talked her out of suicide

* I've welcomed my mum new partner and made mum's life a lot easier (as his kids so aren't accepting it)

* Mum and I do foster care every second weekend with two different families

My happy time will come! (I hope!) :D

I got UAN using the word vag

a made a girl bulimic and now she's hot.

ok, maybe not the best example.

one of my best friends came to stay with my family after his dad comitted suicide for a few weeks, i like to think myself and my family looked after him well and helped ease the incredible pain he was feeling

I saved my little sister from drowning

i decided not to kill the mother@#$er that loosened the wheel nuts on my car.

How about raising a little boy in todays society who is open minded, spiritual, kind hearted, unselfish, creative, intelligent, tolerant, not materialistic, un spoilt, free spirited, environmental, unique and proud of it and sees and appreciates it in other people AND is comforatble with who he is and his place on this planet?

I'm so proud of that acomplishment and that i done it on my own and that he's ONLy nine....can't wait to see the person he will be at 18.

The pride i have in that right there is enough to make my heart explode TWICE!

Well its interesting what you do in certain situations really. Sometimes good things come of your actions and sometimes bad things come of your actions, and the result often isn't obvious at the time...

I have talked numerous people out of suiciding, which is fantastic. I am really glad that these people are still around today

I helped an ex-girlfriends with her unwanted pregnancy issues - it wasn't mine, but I was still there anyway

Oh the other hand I have introduced a lot of people to various substances, which has been a good thing sometimes, but also a bad thing. I can't say that I am proud of this at all, but it is one of the things that you can rationalise away as either good or bad... Good for them that they had some experiences that they would'nt have had, but bad because some of those experiences could have been completely fucked up...

All in all I feel I have given to people a lot more good advice and help than I have bad advice, which makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside

CB

doofqueen said:

How about raising a little boy in todays society who is open minded, spiritual, kind hearted, unselfish, creative, intelligent, tolerant, not materialistic, un spoilt, free spirited, environmental, unique and proud of it and sees and appreciates it in other people AND is comforatble with who he is and his place on this planet?

I'm so proud of that acomplishment and that i done it on my own and that he's ONLy nine....can't wait to see the person he will be at 18.

The pride i have in that right there is enough to make my heart explode TWICE!

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I've never met you DQ, but I have read your posts, seen your photos, sensed your passion and enthusiasm for your boy, life and most of all your music....it is nothing short of inspiring and amazing.....maybe in some small way you have helped make my life better and a happier experience...thank you

Oh yeah, and what i meant to say too was that post was beautiful....i'm amazed by mothers like yourself....i think it is, well, amazing yes....

I wish i could say that I have helped someone like you mentioned Muzby but as it stands I can't think of any cases really....well, once maybe....a friend from school in yr 12 didnt do as well as she expected in her HSC, and therefore couldn't get into the course she wished to in uni.....however over that period of time when she was waiting for results and to see if she would get in i talked with her lots about options and what she could do if she didnt get in etc....the fact is she did another course and some P/T work that year and then re-applied for the original course the next year and got in....she still tells me that I helped her a lot then

I want to help make someones life perfect....if they would give me the chance...

awww thankyou very much for saying that tnargus. I hope to meet you one day

One of my long term Ex Girlfriends is now a Lesbian?

I'm not sure if that reflects badly on me or not....

shals :D

There is a guy who I met through my boyfriend who is part of our "group" - he's very large, and I mean REALLY large, obese even. I think he weighs 150kg, or possibly more (?).

Anyway... he is the most BEAUTIFUL soul you'll ever meet. I love talking to him, he's intelligent and funny and just an all-round top guy. Over the years I've gotten to know him I hardly even see his weight anymore, and I flirt with him (as I tend to do) just the same as all the other guys in our group, winking at him, giving him cuddles, kisses on the cheek.... you know, just harmless flirtatious stuff with your boyfriend's friends.

The other day I dragged him up for a dance at the pub and was sexy dancing with him, doing twirls and stuff and tango moves around him. When we sat down he turned to me and went all serious and said "Thankyou".... I'm like "What for?" He said "Because you're the only girl I know who treats me like I'm normal."

I never even thought about it but obviously it meant a great deal to him that I would flirt with him as if he was half his size...even though there was nothing in it (and we both knew that) it made a huge difference, a huge ego boost. It never even occurred to me NOT to treat him normally because, as I said, I don't even see his size anymore. I just hope one day he finds a girl who can look past it too, because that lucky girl will discover a Prince.

I think I make a difference in SLR, too.... well I hope so, anyway. I might not be the best person in the world (I can be self absorbed to the max), but I have a lot of compassion, which stems from accepting people for who they are and not judging them for what they do.

I used to stop my ex-girlfriend who had been raped from trying to commit suicide almost daily...

I was also there for her when she practically lost it for a period of two weeks. I never ever want to see someone I love insane ever again...

Scariest time of my life, although thankfully she managed to wig her way through it...

Although it was kind of fun when we said we were going for a cigarette and escaped from the hospital the day her parents were talking about having her committed (She lived by herself and wanted me to call them to help her. Their solution was to call an ambulance and then the ambulance guys called the cops because she wouldn't get in.)

I dont think I have made a major difference in anybody's life, I know I've been there when times have been extra tuff for my friends and family.

I'd like to help one person, but he is soo reluctant to want to come on my journy with me that I know will change both of our lives...

This is a REALLY good topic. Nice one muzby

Though I prefer to think of it in terms of what he's done for me, my best friend tells me that I've made a massive difference in his life. For a long time I didn't understand what he meant but I think I do now. When I met him he was 20, on the gay scene, hanging around very superficial guys and though he'd travelled overseas and been exposed physically to more of the world than me, he'd never really been exposed to different ways of life...his world was very black & white. He'd always been financially comfortable, and had generally been able to meet any challenges in his life by either ignoring them or getting someone else to handle them.

I think I've given him the ability to see the world with a more open mind, to see that people have value beyond their social status or how much money they have. I think I've also shown him that true friends will support one another through all sorts of shit, and that sometimes it's really hard to be yourself, but ultimately it's more rewarding. He's come out to his family since he's known me, and he's following the path he wants to follow, studying yoga; rather than doing what his parents expect, which is to become a part of the corporate world. I'm so proud of him and I love him heaps, and it makes me proud to think that I'm responsible for any small part of all of that.

two years ago i told my mate she should've had an abortion cos she was pregnant to an american sailor. she ended up keeping the baby and now she loves the baby but wishes she didnt have it. a bit off the topic but i think sometimes your friends know you better than you know yourself.

My best mate when I was 14/15 was gang raped repeatedly over a period of about 6 months. Close friends of her brother and members of 'NEVER fuck with them' Melbourne gang, I was with there/ with her for literally 24 hours a day, to hug her (when she wasn't too sore), to stroke her hair, and rock her till she exhausted herself crying/screaming and finally fell asleep.

Those six months were the worst in my entire life, trying as best a 15 year old knows how, to help their best friend through something so horrific that it is simply beyond their comprehension. Finally we statergised a way to end the horror, but when my friend refused to go through with it and after 3 weeks of persuasion, I did the things that needed to be done, and said what needed to be said, without her knowledge.

I felt like the worst trailor on earth, soon after her family moved state(which is understandable given how everything was dealt with) and I never heard from her again . That same horrific feeling has stayed with me everyday

Completely out of the blue, I saw her some eight years later. I was at Flinders St on my train as was departing, while she was stepping from the escalator. She saw me, her face contorted for a moment before relaxing into calm beautiful smile, a smile I forgotten existed. "THANK YOU" she mouthed.

I remember that time and that day whenever I start spiraling into self centred 'woe is me ness', it touches me to know that i maybe took away a few drops of her pain and that she no longer viewed me as I felt. I really hope she tracks me down, (as I've tried incessantly and can't find her) but that moment is one i'll never forget.

i introduced my best friend to pills...
she was kind of interested before, and now i tell her a lot of things she knows about drugs

also on the drug issue, i taught my 18 yr old bro everything i know about drugs. knowing that he's gonnna take them whether i approve or not, i thought i better get in before any misinformed friends do. now i feel safe with the knowledge that he wont accidently hurt himself.

also, i think i've made a difference to another really great friends' life, ez_555. she's the same age as my bro but mentally so much more mature. we think so alike its not funny, and when i met her a year ago i think i really clarified some of the things she was thinking about. simply because i had the same thoughts and problems only recently before.

miss slingshot said:

I remember that time and that day whenever I start spiraling into self centred 'woe is me ness', it touches me to know that i maybe took away a few drops of her pain and that she no longer viewed me as I felt. I really hope she tracks me down, (as I've tried incessantly and can't find her) but that moment is one i'll never forget.

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Intentional or not, that's the most honourable thing we can hope for out of life. If not that, what do we leave behind?

Your story was really touching