JTemperance
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- May 15, 2016
- Messages
- 1,345
What's the substance you've been most embarrassed to find yourself using, abusing, dependent on, addicted to, or otherwise ruining your life with?
On the use/abuse side, I'd have to say zolpidem. I only hit it hard occasionally, but I definitely made a fool out of myself on a high proportion of those times, especially when I'd already been drinking heavily.
A few of my least-cherished non-memories include:
+ wiping vomit off the floor of a diner bathroom while telling anyone who came in that I was a Good Samaritan and it wasn't my puke...
+ deciding to make my own mayonnaise out of raw eggs and vegetable oil after I got hungry and wanted a sandwich...
+ waking up to a hostile roommate and learning that I'd urinated in her cat's litterbox in the middle of the night...
+ cramming into the footwell of a Suburban with 8 Mexican nationals I'd just met at a bar who'd invited me to their house party...
As for the addiction that was most embarrassing, I'd have to say that was nitrous oxide. My use became absolutely fiendish pretty quickly and I could easily go through 500 chargers in a week, hitting them nonstop for hours as soon as I got home, and eventually I began to suck down at work, too, and behind the wheel if not actively driving.
I had a good job and cheap maintenance opiates, so I could (sort of) afford a raging nitrous habit... but somehow, I'd always run out of my bulk order early and inevitably end up going from one sex-shop to another, paying outrageous prices to buy up all of their 20-charger boxes (usually covered in porno images, for a little extra shame).
For at least 6 months straight, I used nitrous every single day. I'd usually go through 50-80 chargers/day, sometimes as much as 100 but, never less than 20 on any day. The spent chargers rolled all over the slanted floors of my apartment and I'd scour the crevices for an unused one if I ran out, like someone picking the carpet for crack.
Eventually, I noticed tingling/numbness in my fingers, which I knew were neuropathy symptoms. That freaked me out, since it NO2 abuse causes it, which gave me abrupt motivation to quit. I had opiates and benzos to distract me from cravings, and I forgot about it quickly, never looking back except to marvel at how absurd I got on such a cheesy drug.
On the use/abuse side, I'd have to say zolpidem. I only hit it hard occasionally, but I definitely made a fool out of myself on a high proportion of those times, especially when I'd already been drinking heavily.
A few of my least-cherished non-memories include:
+ wiping vomit off the floor of a diner bathroom while telling anyone who came in that I was a Good Samaritan and it wasn't my puke...
+ deciding to make my own mayonnaise out of raw eggs and vegetable oil after I got hungry and wanted a sandwich...
+ waking up to a hostile roommate and learning that I'd urinated in her cat's litterbox in the middle of the night...
+ cramming into the footwell of a Suburban with 8 Mexican nationals I'd just met at a bar who'd invited me to their house party...
As for the addiction that was most embarrassing, I'd have to say that was nitrous oxide. My use became absolutely fiendish pretty quickly and I could easily go through 500 chargers in a week, hitting them nonstop for hours as soon as I got home, and eventually I began to suck down at work, too, and behind the wheel if not actively driving.
I had a good job and cheap maintenance opiates, so I could (sort of) afford a raging nitrous habit... but somehow, I'd always run out of my bulk order early and inevitably end up going from one sex-shop to another, paying outrageous prices to buy up all of their 20-charger boxes (usually covered in porno images, for a little extra shame).
For at least 6 months straight, I used nitrous every single day. I'd usually go through 50-80 chargers/day, sometimes as much as 100 but, never less than 20 on any day. The spent chargers rolled all over the slanted floors of my apartment and I'd scour the crevices for an unused one if I ran out, like someone picking the carpet for crack.
Eventually, I noticed tingling/numbness in my fingers, which I knew were neuropathy symptoms. That freaked me out, since it NO2 abuse causes it, which gave me abrupt motivation to quit. I had opiates and benzos to distract me from cravings, and I forgot about it quickly, never looking back except to marvel at how absurd I got on such a cheesy drug.
Last edited:
