Cosmic Mist
Bluelighter
Babe, i miss you so much...
You make me feel as though something is right in the world - as though my worries are not so great. You calm me when i am angry, and comfort me when i am upset. I don't know what i would do without you...
... and that scares me, just a bit. I've never felt this way before - my emotions are so intense and sometimes i have to burst just to keep them from consuming me whole.
God, i'm so pathetic... i mean, look at me! I'm a mess! I'm leaking my very life all over a virtual world that doesn't even give a damn, hoping that somehow it will make everything better...
...but i know it won't.
Please know that this isn't a reflection on you - i just can't control myself anymore it would seem. The world just keeps pushing me further and further and further - i don't know how much moreof this i can take. If i were religious i would pray to Allah, or to God - but i find little comfort in the lonely solitude that such empty sentiments bring me...
...all i want is a break. Some rest from the world and it's trials and tribulations - i can no longer handle the pressure i place upon myself to achieve great things and be a beautiful person, to whom anyone can come for support and guidance. Hell, sometimes it is difficult enough just to genuinely listen to people and give them the attention they truly deserve.
Sometimes i wish i could listen more, be more attentive, help people more with those things that ail them, be more like that vision i have of the perfect friend, the brilliant daughter, the most sincere and compassionate lover...
... but sometimes i wish i could just crawl into a dark little hole away from everyone else and forget that anything outside the sombreness exists. Sometimes i am overcome with my own selfish desires that i make myself sick to soft, unprotected core within me.
Sometimes i just need someone to be there for me, listening without questioning, smiling without laughing, caring without being over baring...
...and sometimes i just need to be left alone.
So much has happened this evening - so many things have been brought to my attention. I feel worthless and without substance. It's interesting to see how others perceive you. I guess at least now i know where i stand...
You make me feel as though something is right in the world - as though my worries are not so great. You calm me when i am angry, and comfort me when i am upset. I don't know what i would do without you...
... and that scares me, just a bit. I've never felt this way before - my emotions are so intense and sometimes i have to burst just to keep them from consuming me whole.
God, i'm so pathetic... i mean, look at me! I'm a mess! I'm leaking my very life all over a virtual world that doesn't even give a damn, hoping that somehow it will make everything better...
...but i know it won't.
Please know that this isn't a reflection on you - i just can't control myself anymore it would seem. The world just keeps pushing me further and further and further - i don't know how much moreof this i can take. If i were religious i would pray to Allah, or to God - but i find little comfort in the lonely solitude that such empty sentiments bring me...
...all i want is a break. Some rest from the world and it's trials and tribulations - i can no longer handle the pressure i place upon myself to achieve great things and be a beautiful person, to whom anyone can come for support and guidance. Hell, sometimes it is difficult enough just to genuinely listen to people and give them the attention they truly deserve.
Sometimes i wish i could listen more, be more attentive, help people more with those things that ail them, be more like that vision i have of the perfect friend, the brilliant daughter, the most sincere and compassionate lover...
... but sometimes i wish i could just crawl into a dark little hole away from everyone else and forget that anything outside the sombreness exists. Sometimes i am overcome with my own selfish desires that i make myself sick to soft, unprotected core within me.
Sometimes i just need someone to be there for me, listening without questioning, smiling without laughing, caring without being over baring...
...and sometimes i just need to be left alone.
So much has happened this evening - so many things have been brought to my attention. I feel worthless and without substance. It's interesting to see how others perceive you. I guess at least now i know where i stand...
Smiley
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")