--If you convinced that you know the 'real meaning' behind every song , and its really about dope.
--If you hear those songs on the easy listening station inside kmart or w/ever, and laugh at them for not knowing that their family friendly radio is playing a song thats really, totally about bein addicted to IV dope. (remember that song from like 2001 from that dude uncle cracker or some shit, and the song went "I dont know how i met you i dont know why, but i cant turn around and say good bye, all i know is when im with you , you make me free, and you swim thru my veins like a fish in the sea, singin, Follow me , everything is all right, ill be the one to tuck you in at night, and if you wanna leave i can guarantee, you wont find nobody else like me." That shits about dope yo, come on! :D )
--The knob on the drawer on your night stand has so many hundreds, prolly thousands of little tiny tan rubber bands wrapped around it that its a few inches thicker around than it actually is.
--(for the ladies) you got so many of them that when you get your hair braided up you just use those rubber bands from your bundles to tie up the ends (lol tru story)
--when you are dopesick, being in or near a pharmacy is like a cocktease to you, and you just watch all the people goin up to fill their scripts imagining of the great shit that they must be getting and wish you could trade places with them. (Even tho most of them are probably just getting scripts for antibiotics and shit) and try to wrap your mind around the idea that there is a whole boat load of amazing opiates in there, but you cant have it. and it frustrates the shit out of you, you just cant comprehend how unfair it is that its RIGHT THERE so close but you are stuck here on the other side of the divider and cant have none of it, and it just seems so hugely, incredibly unfair that you just cant process it in your mind.
--When you at the pharmacy pickin up a script for a large quantity of a schedule II opiate, but you STILL imagine the great shit that must be in everybody elses bag, and STILL are jealous of the other customers and imagine that they must have a better script than you and wish you could trade places with them even tho you dont even know if they actually DO have a script for anything good or not. (before i realized just how lucky i was to have a script for methadone , i used to feel that way for a while when i would go to get it filled....almost 300 methadone pills and i still wasnt satisfied 8) )
--When you know the filtering capabilities of toilet paper, fleece insulation pulled out from the inside of your jacket, string (lol, string dont work for the record), fuzzy lint pulled off your socks, etc from experience.
--When the way you rate a facilitys bathroom is by its dope shooting friendlyness -- "Decent rating for privacy--a nice solid lock , but negative points for the fact that its easily accessible and right in a visible area of the store, makin it more likely for another customer to see it and want to use it when you are busy in there. but Great convenience with the baby changing station--perfect table for making up a shot on! Points for being a one person at a time single-toilet bathroom-much more privacy than one with multiple stalls..." -- instead of its cleanliness, how well its maintained, etc like a normal person would.
--You associate shitting without difficulty, with bein dopesick.
--You been clean off dope for a year and are 8 mos pregnant, but everytime you have a hormone-rush and get a hot flash, you confuse it for those quick flashes of extreme hot and sweatiness you get inbetween cold chills during withdrawals and think that your methadone dose must be too low.
--Every white kid you see driving between exit 54 and 60 on Route 80 outside of paterson you think is on their way to/back from copping, and you wish you were on your way to gettin high like they totally must be -- cuz there aint no way that they are just a normal kid driving on a highway that is used by millions of people who use it to get places other than the city they cop their dope in, they must be dopeheads too!
--You imagine the "secret addiction" of almost everybody you pass by over the course of your day, seeing "signs" and reading way too much into them...Like the girl carrying a water bottle with her, she must be a dopehead, cuz when *i* was a dopehead i ALWAYS made sure i had a water bottle so i would have water to make my shot, and a cap to mix it up in, so that must mean shes one too! Noticing these "signs" in everybody, and then using that to convince yourself that the world is completely full of secret junkies who hide their addiction, and that the girl who you see in Dunkin donuts who seems a little under the weather and just went to the bathroom is TOTALLY goin in there to go boot a shot or sniff a pill RIGHT NOW!!!
--(This kinda goes along with the last one) At a dunkin donuts that is a well known, common shoot-up spot becuz its the first bathroom on the highway after you get out of the hood, you have seen a car with 2 white kids in it just parked there, talking on their phones lookin restless and just sittin in the car for 15 minutes without gettin coffee. You automatically assumed they were definately junkies, and must be waiting there for their boy to call them back or somethin. So you went over to them and told them you know wat they are doin there, and that this spot is really sketch, that you been arrested in that parking lot before cuz a cop spotted you just sittin there like they are doin, and that they should bounce and go wait for their boy somewhere else if they dont want to get locked up--And were met with totally confused, annoyed, semi-scared looks like "who the fuck are you, and WTF are you talking about!?!?"
--Everytime you see a white kid going into a bathroom in a ghetto neighborhood you give them the "Im on to you! I know wat youre doin!" look.
--It annoys the shit out of you when you hear people refer to any drug except heroin as "dope"
--You refuse to use the CoinStar machine at Pathmark becuz it takes 9 cents out of every dollar of your change as a processing fee and you cant spare that shit, so you just get tons of coin rolls from the bank and sit there with thousands of pennies packing roll after roll so you can go cop.
--You got the pennies from your parents/grandma/whoever's giant bucket/can/watever that they been throwing their spare pennies into for the past 25 years...most people would think of it as worthless, but you find that shit and think "jackpot!" , you see 50 dollars worth of pennies in there if you can just count and roll enough of them.
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