budsnbars712
Bluelighter
So I have posted on here before explaining my situation. To sum it up, I have been taking xanax for about 2-3 years now. Anywhere from 1.5-4 mg a day (mainly 2.5-3.0 mg 90% of time). Now I just do not understand the effects of the withdrawal on my specific body. I know what the withdrawal effects are in general (seizures, more anxiety, less sleep, maybe even death). But my issue is that I have a hard time identifying if I am withdrawing or not. That sounds stupid right? I am aware all ALL of the side effects and withdrawal symptoms as I have been on this drug for a long time and have done my research....
People always say that xanax is the worst withdrawal to go through, but yet I just don't see it. The only reason I began to even question if I was experiencing withdrawal is because in the morning, when I wake up, I feel like I am not ready to take on life. I researched into this and then learned about rebound anxiety from short acting benzos (like xanax). Now I understand that, but I am not even sure if it is the rebound anxiety that is giving me these feelings, or just depression which I have been battling since I am about 14 (now 24). I just don't see why everyone says it is the worst withdrawal to experience....I have gone a couple days without it before and all that happened was that I had a hard time sleeping, a little more anxiety (over-thinking) and that is it..I am also aware that I HAVE to be physically dependent at this point....I have been on it just way too long for me not to be dependent.
NOW, I do not notice all these other withdrawal symptoms as I take .5 mg (5-6 times daily) on average, and I shouldn't notice the symptoms since I am on it I guess right? The only thing I notice these days is that if an extra couple of hours go by without me taking the medication, I have a short fuse (irritable, no patience, no motivation). I just wont be HAPPY at all. Basically, turns me into a moody bastard. Is that me just coming down from the drug? Me needing more of it? Cause sometimes Ill take the .5 and it doesn't work and I have to bump up to 1.0mg.....
I don't want to be on this drug forever, I will tell you that. I know that it already causes more issues in my life but it has also helped me progress a lot in the past year.....I am curious if I will ever feel normal again or not if I do decide to do a taper. Will I be miserable during and/or after the taper also?
People always say that xanax is the worst withdrawal to go through, but yet I just don't see it. The only reason I began to even question if I was experiencing withdrawal is because in the morning, when I wake up, I feel like I am not ready to take on life. I researched into this and then learned about rebound anxiety from short acting benzos (like xanax). Now I understand that, but I am not even sure if it is the rebound anxiety that is giving me these feelings, or just depression which I have been battling since I am about 14 (now 24). I just don't see why everyone says it is the worst withdrawal to experience....I have gone a couple days without it before and all that happened was that I had a hard time sleeping, a little more anxiety (over-thinking) and that is it..I am also aware that I HAVE to be physically dependent at this point....I have been on it just way too long for me not to be dependent.
NOW, I do not notice all these other withdrawal symptoms as I take .5 mg (5-6 times daily) on average, and I shouldn't notice the symptoms since I am on it I guess right? The only thing I notice these days is that if an extra couple of hours go by without me taking the medication, I have a short fuse (irritable, no patience, no motivation). I just wont be HAPPY at all. Basically, turns me into a moody bastard. Is that me just coming down from the drug? Me needing more of it? Cause sometimes Ill take the .5 and it doesn't work and I have to bump up to 1.0mg.....
I don't want to be on this drug forever, I will tell you that. I know that it already causes more issues in my life but it has also helped me progress a lot in the past year.....I am curious if I will ever feel normal again or not if I do decide to do a taper. Will I be miserable during and/or after the taper also?