Xanax Alcohol Withdrawal Advice

[reggiee]

^^Very kind of you to try to help me, painenduser. I'll try to get by with as little as possible and work out a schedule from there. So far I've had only 10 mg diazepam and feel ok so far. However, I slept in very late and it's still early to decide whether I can start at a low dose to taper from.

Right now, seizure is less of a concern. But rather, that I will do some long term cognitive damage, PTSD, etc, from coming off too fast.

 

[painenduser]

Hey Reggiee,

I am just writing you to see how you are doing with your taper? It's been a couple of days now, and just checking to see how your making out. I'm sure the others that posted here are curious as well. So when your feeling up to us, just throw up a post and let us know.

All the best,

Pain

 

[reggiee]

Thank you, Pain. I had 40 mg the first day, 30 mg the second, and only 10 mg today so far. I have been using 20 mg at bedtime with clonidine to induce sleep. I'm by no means trying to taper too fast, just that I had beers with friends over this weekend. Obviously a gaba agonist also, perhaps slowing my recovery, but it was not a lot. I'm just slowly tapering everything, basically. I'll surely tell you how things go along the way. Thanks so much again and anyone else please feel free to add anything.

 

[reggiee]

So it's been 3 months now and my addictive personality kept me from following through with my original plan.

At my worst I was taking 5mg Xanax/day and drinking at least a 12er of beer. I tapered the diazepam and my last dose of 5 mg a month ago, which makes me believe I shouldn't worry about benzo withdrawal, per se, true? However, I never stopped drinking. I have been at 4-8 beers/day for at least a week, and decided to jump, if you will, last day having 4 beers. Throughout this process (before "jumping"), I experienced very vivid dreams, almost hallucinogenic. I'd wake up talking to my deceased mom, like a normal day, thinking it was real for a second. Not disturbing, I actually enjoy most of these experiences despite it being bizarre. I still get trembles on work days sometimes and it's embarrassing if someone sees me. Even writing anything or signing my name becomes difficult and uncomfortable.

I did go to the doctor and told him everything, completely honest. He referred me to different departments, one being the detox. I hoped I could detox myself but realize I may need something like librium to get me through this last hurdle. But I'm tempted to simply "tough it out" because I think my chance of seizure/dt/death is almost non-existent. I think my w/d symptoms are mild to moderate at worst. My symptoms are somewhat erratic. One moment I think I'm fine and sober, then I become miserable and drink to feel better. I actually got pulled over by cops while on this "maintenance" schedule for beer and was asked if I'd been drinking. I said, yes, I drank earlier, but I don't believe I'm impaired. LUCKILY he only decided to check my eye movement and didn't breathalyze my ass. I'm certain I'd be over the "legal" limit, guaranteed. Thank my lucky stars he decided I wasn't drunk and let me go. Didn't even give me a warning for the infraction I got pulled over for. I don't advocate, condone, promote, etc, drinking and driving, very stupid of me to be on the roads at that time but I got lucky, big time. I wouldn't count on it happening that way again.

I apologize for the blog type post, but I gave my word I'd keep any watchers updated.

Question is: Considering my symptoms, should I just tough it out? Or should I keep drinking steadily and ask for a detox? They know my history of benzo abuse, though I suppose it doesn't hurt to see what they recommend. I guess my worst symptom is actually SEEING things while wide awake, but I KNOW they aren't real. Almost fascinating to be honest. Kinda like how you see whatever you want when viewing clouds in the sky. But then again, this only happens when I take diphenhydramine (benadryl) for sleep. And in spite of my several months abstinence from benadryl, it STILL takes at least 200-300 mg for any kind of sedation. I fucking hate my tolerance (to everything it seems). Is it possible I will crush my family with me dying of a seizure? I've been 1 month off benzos, down to 4-6 beers per day. I should certainly be fine, you agree? I want to make this weekend my detox period, and hope to be okay for work Monday. Thanks again folks.

 

[nsauce]

I think you will be ok. If you are 1 month with no benzos, then that hurdle is cleared. Not that you absolutely wouldn't feel any w/d's, you surely might, but you are likely out of danger for a seizure from benzos w/d . You are doing great. Just taper down your alcohol now . Keep your doctor in the loop, if he/she seems "on board" with what you are doing he/she could be a valuable ally . Just slowly taper off the alcohol now and best of luck to you. I am still benzo free, BTW . It can be done . you just have to want it.

 

[reggiee]

^^Thanks for the support nsauce, it means a lot to me.

I think I'm lucky to not see the awful benzo withdrawal so many people talk about. Too bad the combo really makes it hard to withstand the withdrawal symptoms, for me at least. I'm going to try to tough it out over the weekend and check in to detox Mon or Tues, if needed. Like you said, it's a matter of desire, but I can't stand going to work trembling/sweating like I do, not to mention the crushing insomnia and depression. The (mild?) hallucinations are also not a good sign. I'll update next week, out of courtesy, again. I can really use the support since it seems everyone is turning their back on me. My resentment towards them almost makes me feel more motivated to succeed, in general. It really is sad to learn who cares about you in times of need, which can often be no one, such as it seems in my case.

I need to visit other forums here on BL. This started as a question but has progressed into what I consider a statement acknowledging I need help whether it be counseling/therapy/groups/etc. I know help is there, and I'm finally realizing I need to reach out for eager helping hands.

 

[effie]

^ reggiee, I'm sorry to hear things still aren't great but big congratulations on stopping the Xanax and cutting down on the alcohol! I agree the chance of a seizure from 4 beers a day is minimal, but I would have a think about the other aspects too, like the additional support getting into a programme could offer you. Delirium tremens from alcohol withdrawal can be pretty nasty even without seizures too, so if things feel like they are getting too much for you to handle, or the visual hallucinatiions are stepping up a notch over the weekend, I would get some medical help. I'm really pleased you have mentioned counselling/therapy/groups as I think they will help hugely, and especially pleased you are considering the range - not all are for everyone, so don't be afraid to try a few before you find the thing that suits you

Have you had a look at TDS? It's the forum which covers addiction, mental health, emotional problems etc.. we have a lot of people who post on there about quitting alcohol and other drugs, and you can get a lot of excellent support and advice. There are some megathreads in the directory in my signature including an alcohol one, or please feel free to start your own thread In times of need you certainly find out who your fair-weather friends are.. Fortunately there is always Bluelight and we're always here for you!

I'm going to close this as it seems your BDD-question has been answered really, and usually we try to avoid lengthy discussion threads (definitely check out TDS, or Other Drugs which would be good for a longer discussion on tapers, managing withdrawals etc) but if you would like it re-opened or have any queries please don't hesitate to shoot me a pm

I mod TDS too so come and say hi in the intro thread! And take care, and make sure you do reach out for as much help as you can. It sounds like you've actually made huge progress and have a good plan in place, so I am confident you will succeed, but extra help is always good


Closed.