slushy muddy water
Bluelighter
ive never been more impressed by you than i was tonight. the mutual understanding we've come to is entirely characteristic of our relationship as a whole.
you said something i felt was assertive but thoughtful, honest but caring. you were realizing your own importance and asserting your own needs for once. it makes me happy. it's what youve struggled with for so long. i can be so moody and direct, you can be so absorbing and self damning. we were getting aggravated too easily, finding no middle ground and washing our hands of the mess thinking it'll sort itself out in time. we cannot hate each other. it hurts too much for both of us and recently we've gotten close enough to see that that isnt, and will not be, us. the conversation itself was so highly mutual and weirdly uplifting that the only sadness i felt was for the end of something. i hate endings.
maybe we were too young and rushed things too fast, maybe you were meant to be my bff jill, either way you bring a richness to my life that i would like to keep in a form that is best for both of us. the arguments we've accumulated over this past year seem baffling when comparing to the first blissful two. nonconstructive and circulatory arguments that cheapen the reality and sweetness of what we have together. it's neither one's fault and im awed at the honesty we have in ourselves about it, the sensitivity we have for each other, and the will to do what's right for right now.
youre a source of comfort that will be sorely missed but, as you said, our friendship will be strong. nothing has to be dramatic in change, as we're both prone to fearing that sort of thing. the same will be granted in return without force or feeling obligated. hopefully we'll ease each other into a close friendship with time, maybe some separation would be necessary to establish ourselves regularly without the other (not that we havent been doing that already). it feels genuine and selfless because i know we really do love each other but in dealing with our own patterns of change, insecurities, and unknown immaturity we're not able to meet the other's needs the way they should be met in a relationship.
i congratulate us in many respects
it gives me hope for a copious amount of good happenings
largely of the self improving variety
good form is good, sir.
you said something i felt was assertive but thoughtful, honest but caring. you were realizing your own importance and asserting your own needs for once. it makes me happy. it's what youve struggled with for so long. i can be so moody and direct, you can be so absorbing and self damning. we were getting aggravated too easily, finding no middle ground and washing our hands of the mess thinking it'll sort itself out in time. we cannot hate each other. it hurts too much for both of us and recently we've gotten close enough to see that that isnt, and will not be, us. the conversation itself was so highly mutual and weirdly uplifting that the only sadness i felt was for the end of something. i hate endings.
maybe we were too young and rushed things too fast, maybe you were meant to be my bff jill, either way you bring a richness to my life that i would like to keep in a form that is best for both of us. the arguments we've accumulated over this past year seem baffling when comparing to the first blissful two. nonconstructive and circulatory arguments that cheapen the reality and sweetness of what we have together. it's neither one's fault and im awed at the honesty we have in ourselves about it, the sensitivity we have for each other, and the will to do what's right for right now.
youre a source of comfort that will be sorely missed but, as you said, our friendship will be strong. nothing has to be dramatic in change, as we're both prone to fearing that sort of thing. the same will be granted in return without force or feeling obligated. hopefully we'll ease each other into a close friendship with time, maybe some separation would be necessary to establish ourselves regularly without the other (not that we havent been doing that already). it feels genuine and selfless because i know we really do love each other but in dealing with our own patterns of change, insecurities, and unknown immaturity we're not able to meet the other's needs the way they should be met in a relationship.
i congratulate us in many respects
it gives me hope for a copious amount of good happenings
largely of the self improving variety
good form is good, sir.
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, rushing into smoking and drinking, rushing to get out of high school, and now here I was rushing my relationship into the future that I had already planned out. I planned out everything...our schools, our jobs, our house, our wedding, and even our unborn children. All this planning and never seeing what I already had right in front of me. Thinking about it, I do this because I thought if I planned out everything, it would be possible for me to create the perfect life that I thought I never had. This has probably been the hardest realization for me to come to terms with. I was in such a hurry to grow up and caring about what everything should look like, that I completely ignored all the good that I already had right in front of me. I was with this amazing, supportive, and care-free boy who was growing into a handsome, intelligent, and good-hearted man right before my eyes. The only thing I had never planned for, was the day he would walk away from me and having good reason to do so. 
d/dx=?
Friday is going to be great, I hope you like my costume.