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Write a letter to someone who may never read it! >>> v. 2

Noodle

Noodle

Bluelight Crew
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Oct 21, 1999
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As per the last thread this is a place to air out your love, infatuation, angst or frustration with someone in your life.

This thread isn't intended to generate discussion as much as it is a place to just organize your feelings through words.

Think of this as a catharsis where you can voice your feelings without fear of judgment or confrontation.

:)

( The older thread can be found here )
 
dear v,

this is fucked up. you are jealous over something that exists only in your head. i have close friends besides you, and i enjoy spending time with them. especially when you are just moping around complaining about your life. of course i am going to avoid being around you when you are like that. then i have to deal with your jealousy and the "why are you spending time with s and not me? woe is me, i was so lonely" when i do spend time with you. i am not your girlfriend or your wife, i am your friend. when s and i go out to do something, we invite you to come with us. you opt to stay home and wallow in self pity instead. you are far more jealous and possessive over me than my husband is. and this needs to stop now.

dear j,

i am glad you are not the possessive or jealous type. i think its why we are still together after so long. altho sometimes its a bit bizarre, like you and i still living apart. but that will all be changing soon <3
 
dear S,

lets do something again sometime soon. preferably not drinking at a bar. i mean, its fun and all, but i dont think ive ever seen you sober. and ive known you for years, even if we dont see each other all that much. i enjoy spending time with you. and im a fucking idiot for not kissing you when we went to the park. but you were really drunk and i was sober, i still shouldve said fuck it. i hope to see you again soon, and i hope i didnt fuck anything up by not making a move.

M
 
Dear ____,

Thank you for the emotional support you continue to give me. What I am doing to better myself is very hard - I only make it look easy when really I am struggling with a lot of it. Thank you for providing me with reassurance when I need it. Most of all, thank you for allowing me to help you too. You were right when you said we could do anything we wanted together. Thank you for helping me see the truth - that we can and will have a beautiful life walking side by side, hand in hand, and eyes into eyes.

I love you,

~me
 
hey baby,
that fight the other night where you grabbed me by the neck to keep me from getting out of the car scared me. it changed things.
you've been snappy with me ever since that one night before your birthday when you saw that man get killed. i'm not going to be able to handle your anger's manifestations much longer.
and now, you might be going to jail for your stupid shit driver's license problems. if it's 6 months, i don't know that we'll last. i surely won't be able to pay the rent by myself.
i've been really depressed about everything lately. you just don't seem to love me anymore. why stay with me?
i'm distancing myself just until i find out if you're getting locked up or not. i wish it was how it used to be.
love,
.
 
Dear Dee,

I know it's kind of weird for me to be writing you now. We haven't spoken in so long that I treasure the times when I just get to speak to B and ask how you're doing. What really kills me is realizing how much geography seperates us every day. Every morning I wake up to the thought of you living your day in full swing while I wring my wrists begging the dark morning air for a day that doesn't resemble time in hell. Every night I go to sleep with the thought of you dreaming peacefully, begging the now sullen air that I could run at terminal velocity across the vast waters that keep us apart and be at your window when you awake. The sun glows brighter when it's given the privilege of shining upon you. One day I'll mend my troubles and see you again, and on that day I promise you'll hear how I feel about you. Until that day, keep your heart safe for me.

Love, me
 
M,

I wrote you a letter in the previous thread. Apparently, you didn't get that extremely optimistic letter. At that point in our lives, I felt as if everything had come together. Then, as quickly as things came together, they were destroyed. I began to make an effort to show you my appreciation in a way not typical of most introverts. But--no sooner had I made the effort-- you found another partner to satisfy your physical desires. I, foolishly, believed that you were more of an intelligent, creative, intellectual women; capable of seven hour conversations about the meaning of life. And, while you showed flashes of brilliance, I blindly ignored the fact that I couldn't please your physical desires. And, almost as foolishly, I didn't see the signs when you had moved on to that other man. Feeling crushed, I fled--the city, the state, my lifestyle-- all because of what you did to me. Due to a change in circumstances, I've returned to the place we first met; and, by chance, we ran into each other. I, wearing a doctor's costume (full face mask and all), stumbled by you at the bar. We made eye contact, and you stopped your conversation mid-sentence. Looking down at my doctor's gown, which had my name scribbled across the front of it, you looked wide-eyed (and beautiful as ever) as you reached up and pulled the surgeon's mask down from my face. I smiled. You smiled, then looked shocked as you asked what I was doing back in town. My memory of events beyond that point are slightly blurred, but you insisted that I should have texted you. Before I left? When I arrived back in town? Who knows... I (somewhat bitterly) told you that I had deleted your number, and told you to text me if you wanted to talk again. Sadly, it has only been a few days, but I'm still waiting for your text. I don't believe things will be any different than they were before, but the few days of courtship shared between us nearly make up for the months of agony I endured on account of you (though, probably self inflicted). If you're thinking of texting me, please take a page from Weezer-- if you're wondering if I want you to, I want you to.

Yours,

M
 
Everyone says to let you go. They dont understand how it feels for me. I know I should let you go, I should move on. Im thinking of leaving this place. Too much of this remind me of you. I can go somewhere else, start a different life, and hopefully remember you and treasure the memory of you in a good light instead of the way you ripped my soul apart.

No matter what, that hope still burns for you.

I can see so clearly the truth. My heart refuses to believe it.

All I can say is goodbye
 
I can't believe the letter you wrote me got lost in the mail. Fuckity fuck fuck.
 
Dear R,


So, we've been talking again. A lot. And you're telling me that you love me still, and how you want things to go back to "the way they were." And to be honest, I'd like that as well. I would to see you everyday, hug you, kiss you, smack your ass, and cook you dinner. I miss the way things used to be. I gave you four years of my life, and I thought you were gone for good. But you're back now. Slowly rebuilding the foundation that once crumbled into ruins. But, I don't know what to do.

Can you help give me some insight? Is this all wishful thinking? Am I stargazing on a cloudy night? I'm lost. Confused, even. I wish you were here, to just grab me by the face, and kiss me, and tell me that it'll be all right. That you love me, while staring endlessly into my eyes, the way you used to. I don't know what to do... Help me. Show me the way, or guide your way back into my heart, I'll clear the run-way if you'll put down the landing gear...


Love always,
-J.
 
Dear A,

Having known you coming up 2 years now, I feel guilty in myself I've never had the guts to tell you how I feel. I know I might be well out of your league, but who knows, i don't have the chance to find out. I missed my chance while you were out of a relationship, hell, you even seemed to give me a chance that night, but I simply was the good friend. I should have kissed you when you asked me for a walk outside, instead of just talking. And after the night, I should have tried to follow something up with you, rather than just being the good friend who looked after you while you were drunk. And I left it open so long without even saying anything, that you found somebody new and once again, you're now back in a long term relationship. I look at you and hate myself for it every day. You truely are beautiful. Even though I'm still coming to terms, almost a year from that night I missed my chance, that you will probably never be mine, I can't seem to let go.

Truth is, I love you.

-B.
 
Dear S,

I've been in your life for about seven years now, and before that I didn't know you. Thing is, I can't remember a time you weren't there. I've thought about it, and I think that before I knew you, there can't have been anything worth remembering.

You know that I have problems with my head sometimes, so I can't remember what order things happened. But I remember the first time I saw you, and I thought you were a boy, and I thought, 'When I get a boyfriend for the first time, I hope he's like that boy.' I came over and said hi, and I hijacked your friends that lunchtime, and together we made that little group, R, H, you and me. We were all there together. I was there when you got the call that your little sister was born, and when she had that accident and you thought she'd be blinded, I was there too. I was there when you found out she'd be okay.

I was there when you got drunk for the first time, and you were there when I got stoned for the first time, and I was there when you first tried speed. You were there when I first kissed a boy, and I was the first girl you kissed, even though it was just a joke. I wasn't there when you took all those pills, but I tried to be, I really did. The doctors wouldn't let me see you. We were both there when R finally gave up clinging to the edge. You were there when I was grieving and you came with me when I moved on.

I was there when you announced that you'd met a guy, he was your first boyfriend, and you'd lost your virginity. I was there to listen when you couldn't tell anyone else about the time he cut you with his machete. I was there when he told you he cheated, and you were there when he raped me, and we were together when I told you I was the 'other woman'. I was there when you got the call that he ODed, and when you found out it was heroin. I'm there most of the time you two go out together, and I pretend that I've forgiven him. I only do this because I care about your feelings more than my own.

So, yes, I've been there, and we've changed so much it doesn't seem real. Do you remember when you called me the bad influence on you? Do you remember that time when we met up after I was away for the summer, and you told me, 'You've changed, but you're still the same. You're still my funny, brilliant friend, and now you're beautiful as well!'? I think you're beautiful, too. I've told you that so many times, just like I've told you I love you, over and over. I do, I do love you. I've hated your boyfriend since we were 13. Please leave him. Save yourself. He wants to hurt you.

I know you don't find me attractive- even if you are bi, like you're saying you are these days, I can tell you don't want me like I want you. That's fine, and I'm sorry for coming on to you the last time we got drunk together, that wasn't right. But I need you to be kinder to me. If I was a boy, and you knew I loved you as much as I do, you wouldn't flirt with me, you wouldn't play with my feelings. Seeing you with him hurts me, just like seeing you unhappy does. Please start eating again, you're getting too thin. Please don't try heroin ever again. Please trust me. Please don't drop out of college, and please leave your boyfriend before he hurts you in a way that won't heal.

I can't ask you to love me as much as I love you, but please, S, I need you to fall back in love with yourself. For me.

C.


(Ah, way too long, sorry guys...)
 
Dear __

From the moment I met you I wanted you. Your the perfect girl for me. We are so much alike its scary, we have so much fun together. I wish I met you sooner so you didnt have a boyfriend and a life i cant possibly afford like he can. I'm far too broke to live in manhatten with you or do the things you two do. The only thing I can do is give you my undying love and treat you the way you should be. I have never felt so much love for someone i cant have. You told me you wanted me too when you were drunk, i just want to know is there any hope? Or did you accidently play with my heart? Im willing to do what it takes to get you, I feel like if i let you slip I'll never meet another girl like you.

S.
 
K,
so we're only been talking for a few days. and we're about to meet for the first time face to face in about 2 hours and I'm SOOOO nervous. You seem like the hippie girl of my dreams. You're so beautiful. Like more beautiful than any girl I've ever dated and like it seems like we're on more of the same wave length than any other girl I've dated. Like we just vibe, and that's what I've been looking for since I've started dating. I'm trying to let the positive vibes shine through and not worry at all cuz you're so chill and I got a feeling we're gonna have an awesome time. So long as you don't mind me proving all your new age theories wrong, and you accept all my psychedelic theories I know this is gonna be a night to remember =D jk. I think you're beliefs are awesome they just need a little tweaking from me lol.

Hopefully you're nervous too ;)

I'm gonna go run around and do some exercise and try to let some of the stress go free.

I hope someday I can show you this post. <3

-Mike
 
Dear M.
It's been fun being a dad for your 8 year old son for the last 2 years. (she's 29 I'm 23)
I really enjoyed spending my $38,000 together. Now when times are tough all you can do is complain.
It's pretty cool we officially broke up right before our 2 year anniversary (my birthday)
It's also cool you don't have the balls to tell me you are moving on to a new man.

I leave the house for one day and you are now in a relationship and the dude is in our house.

It's time to promise myself not to take any bullshit/drama from people and kick life's ass.

You've been so crappy about this whole thing when honesty would have been best. I can't even cry about it because; you're not nearly the women I thought you were, and you can't compromise to make things last.

Good luck, I have lived with you for 2 years and you will need it. I have to rise above this fast.

I don't care if stuff was shitty on you while you were destroying my love for you. I suspect that as much as you hate cheating, you're probably guilty of it. I mean you were dating someone when you met me and lied about it, so what should I have expected...

In the end I just have to laugh about it. I can and have made $38 dollars an hour base pay doing asbestos and fully intend to do it more. Hope you two supposedly more older and mature people enjoy STILL living off your parents/person your dating to a large degree.
 
I am so happy you have come into my life, even if it is in a totally bizarre way. You have taught me so much and you make me feel so much better about myself. You are one of the only people who really listens to me and actually seems to care about me and be willing to support me. You appreciate all the things about me that I am proud of. And you have given me so much and basically helped me get my life back on track... I was about to become homeless two days before we met and now I have everything I need. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being such a good friend, so accepting and unjudging, making me feel like I am the smartest, most talented, most interesting and most beautiful woman in the world even though I know it can't really be true, and being so incredibly generous and giving. If I ever get married, I really hope that my husband will be like you in many many ways.
 
Dear Amber, I have fallen for your oustanding beauty once again. Your willingness to speak to me even though we've been through that trouble. It was my fault and yours to. I know your having fun and so you should, you deserve it. When I was with you the other night and you fell on my lap. We held on to each other and we wouldn't dare let go, it was beautiful. I felt your skin, stroked your hair and I cried.
Amber they won't see no worth in you but I do, I really do. All I ask is to not boast about it, don't abuse it and don't ruin it. I love you, Amber but the problem is you don't love yourself. Watch what your doing Bobo. xxxxx
 
dankstersauce said:
K,
so we're only been talking for a few days. and we're about to meet for the first time face to face in about 2 hours and I'm SOOOO nervous. You seem like the hippie girl of my dreams. You're so beautiful. Like more beautiful than any girl I've ever dated and like it seems like we're on more of the same wave length than any other girl I've dated. Like we just vibe, and that's what I've been looking for since I've started dating. I'm trying to let the positive vibes shine through and not worry at all cuz you're so chill and I got a feeling we're gonna have an awesome time. So long as you don't mind me proving all your new age theories wrong, and you accept all my psychedelic theories I know this is gonna be a night to remember =D jk. I think you're beliefs are awesome they just need a little tweaking from me lol.

Hopefully you're nervous too ;)

I'm gonna go run around and do some exercise and try to let some of the stress go free.

I hope someday I can show you this post. <3

-Mike
Click to expand...

That was really cute <3
 
Yo bitch, wuttup?

First off, fuck you. Anyway, what's been up with you? You just ignore me? Okay, that's cool. Asshole. I've got nothing against you, I just want to know why? I don't even bug you, I haven't talked to you for like a fucking year, actually it's probably almost exactly one year. You go to every length of effort to avoid me. What the hell? Just chill out for a second, FFS. But whatever, I don't think I'll ever say one more word to you, since I KNOW you're not going to say anything to me, again. If you found out, sorry for cheating on you. If you didn't find out, fuck you, I cheated on you, bitch. Time for me to go do something more important than talk to you, so peace out.

P.S: Remember every time you got mad at me for doing a "california roll" through stop signs because I'd get a ticket for running a stop sign? You remember all those times? Well guess what! I got pulled over the other day for rolling through a stop sign. Baked as fuck, too. If I got brethalized I probably wouldn't even be here today. Got a couple rolls on us, too. Anyway just like to let ya know, I didn't get a ticket, nothing.

I hope you read this. See ya never.

-C
 
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