TDS Worth Living

[thesaneone]

let me start by saying my life is beyond crap and feel like there's no hope and I'm having strong thoughts of suicide. To sum it all up, I've recently became a convicted felon of an unfair case over an unconstitutional law within a few years, I'm going through a divorce because I fell in love with another woman and now that woman is pregnant and due any day. I am in love with the new woman, but I love my wife soon to be ex, I've been with her for 10 years and we have kids together. I can't see myself living without being around my kids with my wife and watching them grow, I just can't see it. I do admit that I did my wife very wrong and she is a strong woman for sticking with me through my fuck ups. Ever since this new woman came into the picture my life has gotten ruined, I can't even picture myself being with her and building a new family, I'd say it was a lust thing and being blind from love, it really clouded my decision making and what a real man should've done. All the things I put my wife through over this woman is at a end now. She can't stand to talk to me. I haven't seen or spent time with my kids and it's making me sick. They were my only family and just about the only ones who loved me and I f'd that up. Whats the use of living??? No job, family broken, no degree, just nothing, I don't have anything else to give or live for

 

[footscrazy]

It does sound like a hard situation you're in. I don't think it's hopeless though. I do believe it's possible to find happiness from where you are now.

I have a lot of regrets in my life, and sometimes, all I can hold on to, is that these experiences can be learning experiences - a point from where I can at least see clearly what is the wrong way to act, so I can try not to do that again. What you have done was hurtful and disrespectful to your wife. I think though, from my perspective as a woman that's been hurt before, that sometimes, truly understanding the hurt you've caused, and conveying this, can do more to help than you realise; more than apologies. I don't speak for all women, but I know that for me and at least some others I know, behind the hard, bitch facade, that still matters. I think honesty is important, even if it's hard. But if you can step up and accept your part, without expecting any result, I think that goes a long way. Even if it doesn't have a short term pay-off, these things are remembered, and are important.

You have kids and they will appreciate you continuing on fighting, if only for them. They'll get to an age where no matter what your ex says, they'll see the truth for themselves. I think your life is worthwhile. I hope you continue fighting

 

[RobotRipping]

time will sort out those issues, feelings are going to raw for a while but i'm sure your kids don't hate you for what you did and when they get older they'll understand anyway. I'm not sure how you get back on good terms with the old wife but perhaps being honest and upfront like you did in this post would be a good start, you fucked up, now you have to be responsible for two womens' kids but i've heard of a lot more fucked up stories than that.

Certainly wouldn't commit suicide as your kids would be devastated and would never see you again, so hang in there for them for now, shit always passes over, even much more serious shit than just getting another girl knocked up.

^agreed with the above advice, what you do with this new baby of yours and how you have a family now are going to be kind of up in there air, so stay level headed, open minded, calm and reasonable and if your wife incessantly yells at you, you'll just have to take it, same with new gf.

On the bright side, you'll have a new baby and that's something special in itself. Don't leave all those people behind, pull yourself back up and people will realize how powerful you are and respect that.

 

[pro re nata]

you are at a point in your life that brings a state of tremendous loss with that comes the over whelming feelings that you are experiencing- remorse, guilt, shame.. creating a strong depression which in return is making your thoughts collapse before they even have a chance to rise, feeling completely and utterly stuck. this is totally understandable and typical for a person dealing with a situation as yours. i can entirely relate in dealing with decisions that have been made in leading to intense life altering events.

you have already done a great thing in starting to accept and process these matters in looking for support in coming to bluelight. good for you. as mentioned above i think one of the best things you can do to help your relationships with your soon to be ex, your kids, your new partner and yourself is to continue to evaluate theirs and your emotions in regards to how you feel responsible for certain aspects of this now reality. as you process these feelings more over into thoughts of realization the most powerful and humbling thing you can do is to openly and honestly share them with the individuals directly involved . exposing your full vulnerability to them will speak volumes and not only begin a new dialog but more over a healing process for all people involved. giving you the strength and courage to take another pro-active, positive step in continuing your journey. you are at a rebuilding stage all around and you have so much to re-create for in these wonderful children you have and have on the way. truly a gift.

if we do not confront our pains and regrets we do not move forward but stand still in a self confining, destructive way. this overwhelming feeling of being stuck can be broken free from with the strength of your will... for your kids will. just try and take one little step at a time and build upon those movements to help build the much needed momentum for you and these others. the more you fight and give of yourself in building a new foundation the more barriers will be broken down resulting in freeing yourself and providing unconditional love to the ones you hold so dear. one thought at a time, one step at a time, you can do this and be the great person and father that you are and will be!!

 

[sickofthisshiz]

Everybody has given some really great advice in the posts above so sorry l have to say it, think of someone besides yourself for once. You actually feel sorry for yourself when there are three children involved? You being a father to those children is what is important. You made some bad choices, make better ones, starting now