oxytweaker
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2021
- Messages
- 2
damnn, read the whole thread..can't compare to most of what some of you have done but I'll get shit off my chest.
i cheated two times on my first boyfriend and told him straight to his face, overall i was so so soo toxic, abusive, controlling..you name it. Never psychically hurt him. First time i just told him he's not interesting enough for me anymore(1+ year relationship)and we need to take a break just so i could fuck around a little with an older guy who i dumped two weeks later and my bf somehow wanted me back and forgave me. Second time i sent a censored nude to another guy and decided to tell him because the guilt was killing me. Still forgave me. Keep in mind i was completely sober the whole time i did all of it, i was just fucked in the head. He broke up with me a little before hitting the 2 year anniversary and it was a little hard but i finally came to the conclusion i never really loved him. I loved being praised, loved the rush of a first relationship but still felt like a needed to explore more.
4-5 months post-breakup i get with my old 7th grade hot emo boy crush, start getting into alcohol and weed. He is the best person i know and made me change, we haven't had an argument in months. Most recent fuck-up tho is perhaps competing for the first place of worst thing I've done too - current bf was out of town, i was really into benzos then and went out to meet new people everyday, took 45+ xans, 30+ zolpidems and 40+ diazepams in the course of 6-7 days, one day decided to get drunk in my room late at night on top of all those pills and some weed(got REALLY fucked, drank 500+ml vodka), called him, told him I'll kill myself and cut my hips really badly. Mother found me unconscious in pool of blood on the bathroom floor after midnight,
can't explain why I'm still alive today
i cheated two times on my first boyfriend and told him straight to his face, overall i was so so soo toxic, abusive, controlling..you name it. Never psychically hurt him. First time i just told him he's not interesting enough for me anymore(1+ year relationship)and we need to take a break just so i could fuck around a little with an older guy who i dumped two weeks later and my bf somehow wanted me back and forgave me. Second time i sent a censored nude to another guy and decided to tell him because the guilt was killing me. Still forgave me. Keep in mind i was completely sober the whole time i did all of it, i was just fucked in the head. He broke up with me a little before hitting the 2 year anniversary and it was a little hard but i finally came to the conclusion i never really loved him. I loved being praised, loved the rush of a first relationship but still felt like a needed to explore more.
4-5 months post-breakup i get with my old 7th grade hot emo boy crush, start getting into alcohol and weed. He is the best person i know and made me change, we haven't had an argument in months. Most recent fuck-up tho is perhaps competing for the first place of worst thing I've done too - current bf was out of town, i was really into benzos then and went out to meet new people everyday, took 45+ xans, 30+ zolpidems and 40+ diazepams in the course of 6-7 days, one day decided to get drunk in my room late at night on top of all those pills and some weed(got REALLY fucked, drank 500+ml vodka), called him, told him I'll kill myself and cut my hips really badly. Mother found me unconscious in pool of blood on the bathroom floor after midnight,
can't explain why I'm still alive today