BrahamCracker
Bluelighter
Write something, anything, and explain your thoughts, feelings, reactions, state of mind, problems troubling you, pleasure, anything really. Whatever you want people to know about your writings, you write after you post your poem. This is more for therapy than criticism, but i believe it can be both. My councelor tells me to write stuff that i'm feeling and read it to her, while she asks me questions and responds. This is what i'm hoping for here.
This is a thread full of constructive criticism and understanding. We all go through a lot and to me, the best way to let it out is to write.
This is a rough draft for my poetry class, I wrote it about a picture i took with my grandpa when i was 12. We went to Canada with friends and family and had a whole week of fishing together. He is the closest male figure in my life and the most influencial person to me.
The young kid stands up tall.
Smiling as he holds up his catch –
6 skinny walleyes dangling lifelessly.
The kid stands up tall smiling.
Before his rusted, beat up truck
stands the proudest grandfather.
Arm over his grandson;
they smile for the camera.
His glasses magnify his eyes.
This is his only grandson he loves him.
Holding him as if he was being kidnapped;
smiling down on him like God from Heaven
The young kid stands tall and still smiling.
Both are wearing matching hats and shirts.
John Deere Greene shows the Grandfather's other love.
Their smiles a force field against sadness.
A camouflaged boat filling valuable background space.
Giant maple trees cover all but the sky,
and a small log cabin near the river.
Driveway littered with cottonwood seeds.
Behind the camera is grandma,
taking the picture of grandpa.
Ignoring the grandson's measly catch,
time well spent with family was his motto.
This is a thread full of constructive criticism and understanding. We all go through a lot and to me, the best way to let it out is to write.
This is a rough draft for my poetry class, I wrote it about a picture i took with my grandpa when i was 12. We went to Canada with friends and family and had a whole week of fishing together. He is the closest male figure in my life and the most influencial person to me.
The young kid stands up tall.
Smiling as he holds up his catch –
6 skinny walleyes dangling lifelessly.
The kid stands up tall smiling.
Before his rusted, beat up truck
stands the proudest grandfather.
Arm over his grandson;
they smile for the camera.
His glasses magnify his eyes.
This is his only grandson he loves him.
Holding him as if he was being kidnapped;
smiling down on him like God from Heaven
The young kid stands tall and still smiling.
Both are wearing matching hats and shirts.
John Deere Greene shows the Grandfather's other love.
Their smiles a force field against sadness.
A camouflaged boat filling valuable background space.
Giant maple trees cover all but the sky,
and a small log cabin near the river.
Driveway littered with cottonwood seeds.
Behind the camera is grandma,
taking the picture of grandpa.
Ignoring the grandson's measly catch,
time well spent with family was his motto.
