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Pagey

Pagey

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Apr 11, 2012
Messages
9,428
Location
The Valley of Ashes
Sooo...I slept with this guy, let's call him S, who lives in the same uni accomodation hall as me last night. Thing is I was really depressed and had gotten somewhat drunk on my own, and anyway he started talking to me on facebook which I thought was a bit suspicious because he'd been ignoring me for about a month ever since he'd seen me kiss this guy J, who I've got annoyingly depressing feelings for (J and I are now friends as he doesn't want a relationship apparently. But I'm extremely depressed over him). So anyway S came over to my room, we got really, really drunk and yeah obviously we ended up hooking up. Big drunken mistake. And the problem is he's considerably morei nto me than I am into him...I think he wants us to be fuck buddies or something, but I mean now that I'm sober I'm not that attracted to him :(
And he even brought up something about getting together, as in a couple, and I was just wondering all day if I should give it a shot? But thing is I barely know him and I feel like it would be unfair to both of us considering how I feel about J. But it could also help me move on. But I don't want to 'use' S like that.
Should I just tell him I'm sorry, but drunken mistake and I'd rather nothing happen between us or should I give this a shot? Gaaah I feel so stupid about the whole thing, especially since we livei n the same building so we're gonna keep running into each other...I'm just praying no one finds out about it.
 
By having fun being single, you'll get over it eventually. Sleeping with someone to get over somebody else is never a good idea, you're just hurting somebody else for the sake of it.
 
StrutterGear said:
By having fun being single, you'll get over it eventually. Sleeping with someone to get over somebody else is never a good idea, you're just hurting somebody else for the sake of it.
Click to expand...

^ This...

The main thing to remember is not to beat yourself up over stupid shit you do when you're drunk. We all make mistakes and sleep with random people sometimes, haha. The worst thing you could do right now is to date someone random just to distract yourself from your feelings for 'J'. These feelings will diminish overtime, and you don't want to put 'S' into a situation like yours, with you being who he is doting over... haha confusing, but I think you know what I mean. I think you should just text or message 'S' saying that what happened was a mistake, not because you think he's gross or something, but because you're not in the emotional place to be mentally or physically involved with someone right now. Just be honest and maybe this guy could be a good friend to you, not fuck buddy.
 
I would just enjoy being single, hang out with people, make new friends, and enjoy being in college and learning things in classes.
 
Pagey , you will find much better quality people in life in general if you learn to focus on yourself, get yourself in a good state of mind with whatever it is that gets you there, and then focus on finding someone who is your partner and not someone who you need.

It's ok to get drunk and sleep with someone and say "aw dammit! Fuck I wouldn't have done that if I was sober!" What girl hasn't been there? LOL Don't beat yourself up over it, but you can learn from it and understand yourself better.
 
you shouldn't ever feel bad about turning down a fuck buddy situation. especially a one night stand. i have slept with friends while drunk and we weren't thrilled about it, but it wasn't tragic. that shit happens. even if he is not cool with it, just say you are not actually into casual sex if he suggests something again. what happened doesn't make you owe him anything
 
Thanks for the replies :) I'll just text him and tell him sorry but it was really just a one time thing. It wouldn't be fair to him for us to get together just so I can try and get over J.
As for the 'enjoy being single' replies - I've heard that so many times, and yes I've done all the things we're supposed to do when single blablabla and yeah it's nice but I have to say, I really would like to be back in a relationship. Even when my last real one was at its absolute lowest I was happier than single so I just think the time has come for me to stop being single. Might sound dumb and stuff but I just find it so much nicer to have that one person there. (actually that's pretty logical isn't it?). ANyway thanks again!
 
Pagey don't do that to yourself! We all do questionable things whilst fucked up but there's no reason to continue a drunken mistake.

You deserve someone you don't have to settle for, even if it means being single for a time. If you stick to your guns you'll find someone whose perfect for you... But it might take a little while.

Hope you're doing well :)
 
^Thanks :) (I'll answer your PM soon btw - sorry, I've become really unreliable with answering messages and stuff...)

Well anyway, I sent him a text (yes, yes) saying sorry but let's JUST be friends and he was like all right but he seemed rather pissed off. But it's okay cuz we barely ever hung out before anyway so I don't feel like I'm properly losing a friend or anything.
Also I have a date with a guy I met last night tomorrow which I'm really looking forward to so things are looking up already, yay :D
 
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