I was a welfare worker, my addiction got exposed by a so called random drug test 3, 4 years ago.I got fired. But the test result got sealed as my supervisor return a huge favor for me. But I can't work as welfare worker again. I didn't give up my life just because of this, 3 years past by, now I am a flash graduate nurse. I have been addicted to opiates over 10 years. Opiates is not that evil to me, it helped me a lot, I won't be able to graduate without it. Now, I have been using over 80% of my salary for drugs, today, 3 days before I get my next paycheck, I went out of everything. Oxy, codeine, DHC, EverythingThe final chapter of feeling good approached.The withdrawal was so bad, I can't even hold the iv line properly when I draw blood from the patient. "I have to do something" This is the line keep ranging over and over in my head. I have to do somethine before someone notice what is going on with me. I work with bunch of health care professionals after all.FYI, I don't have anyone to ask for help when I am in trouble, I don't have any friend. None. But I guess that is nothing surprise when you addicted to opiates for over 10 years.10 am, When the sweating start, a minute feels like a year, 11 am, I am already in white hot agony. I walk, and I walk, and I walk, next thing I know was standing inside a heavily sedated patient's room, and I stairing at his diazepam. Should I do it? I understand that it won't help much, but it is something. Not something like one take fix, but at least it would take the edge off.I can't recall how long I stood there, but eventually, it comes to "fuck it". Just like the past 3650 days.It went the way it had to, the way it was always going to. This is the 2 word that keep me going with my life."Fuck it" And here is the junkie dilemma, I stop taking opiates, someone will notice I am an addict, i lose my job. And if I keep using, eventually I will get busted, then same result, lose my job. I feel so guilty now, if you have history with opiates you would know that opiates take away all your negative emotions away. You don't feel sad, no guilty feeling, no isolated, no nothing.Now I just got my dihydrocodeine fix, I still feel so terrible and guilty, today I stole diazepam, who knows what am I going to do 25 days from now when I run out of juice again...I am so worry that I am going to steal morphine from cancer patients and they fade away with agonizing pain...Actually I don't know why I start this thread, maybe I just want to let it out...Opiates is my family, a friend that would never turn its back on me. I am willing to pay everything for it. For those who worry someday will bump into me at hospital as patient, unless you live in Toyko, otherwise, very unlikely.
. What do u take for opies daily? How do u take them, mg etc.?