Withdrawal Again!.. this time Kratom

[bpayne]

The last few years of my life have been an up and down ride.. Tramadol, oxycodone, oxymorphone.. buprenorphine.. and all roads have led to one thing Withdrawal and Mainly RLS and sleepless nights.. before I started opiates I would drink a 12 pack of beer and smoke massive amounts of weed Every night.. so a part of me feels that the opiates saved me in a way.. well I got off the pills but traded it for a just as bad addiction Kratom. I have been taking up to 30-40 grams of various strains a day.. sometimes extracts with most of the time just pure leaf though.. Every time I tell myself I'm going to taper but I don't start until I'm down to 2 bags left.. then I stretch them as far as I can go .. getting down to the last little bits that will help my symptoms.. well.. I just took the last tiny piece .. dunno if it's even enough to help.. I'm so tired of this sick- cycle.. however when I take it .. I am responsible and productive and do things I am suppose to do.. things That I have never done in my 33 year old life.. that I should've been doing all along .. but only just started doing once I started the opiates.. part of me thinks that this is just an excuse to tell myself to keep using.. but there is a noticable difference in my ability to interact with the world and get things done.. but the getting sick over and over again.. it is wearing down my body.. I am in withdrawal at least 3 days every week nowadays.. I just saw a few gray hairs sprout up in my beard and I know it has to be from the constant draining of resources I'm putting my body through.. at least I'm not drinking like I use to.. are there any Free Detox clinics in NC? has anyone ever been to a free detox? I don't have any money.. and honestly I don't even really have time to go to detox.. I have to watch my kid 24/7 sick or not.. I just don't know what to do

 

[herbavore]

bpayne, that sounds terrible. You are selling yourself, and your child short however if you don't tackle this now. Are there any relatives that would be willing to take your child while you are in detox? I don't know of any free detoxes in NC (hopefully someone else from there will respond) but you can always contact your county mental health services to see if they have a recovery component. Maybe you could attend a meeting and find out there about local resources?

I wish the world of recovery services were different but unfortunately it is what it is and that is pretty minimal. With determination and the support of others around you that understand, much can be accomplished. NA/AA meetings are free. Why not start there? Good luck and hang in there.

 

[RobotRipping]

Here's an alternative view.

You need to get your kratom usage stable and sustainable. You should be able to use kratom every single day without severe issues financially, mentally, or socially. Now maybe you should taper down from 30-40 grams (which is a lot but not that excessive) to maybe 20 grams. I think if it is what keeps you stable, makes you the person you are and improves your quality of life (as well as your kids, most importantly) then you just need to make sure you have a solid supply. I really think of kratom as coffee and a lot of people do not function near as well without coffee. I highly doubt you need detox for kratom, not to mention that would cause a lot of problems.

you're off real opiates and alcohol which is a huge accomplishment. I know people get obsessed with being 100% sober but that isn't the perfect fit for everyone. IMO kratom is not going to cause you physical damage and as long as you can afford it and keep everything together, do not feel guilty for using it. I think you're doing really well in life and if you don't want to get thrown into wd once a week then buy in bulk, manage your use and make sure you don't run out. Kratom is unique in that i don't find tolerance builds infinitely so i think it is sustainable. I would not advocate you do this with any other drug (maybe cannabis).