uuuum yeah it was totally a euphemism for being tired. thats actually something i've been saying since middle school. because i was always tired....
ie: i wanna die, i feel like death etc etc
i actually came out of the bathroom one time talking to myself saying "i wanna die, i wanna diiiiiie" as a guest walked in i was like " oh hello!"
i'm going to answer your questions for the off chance i actually do need help though lol.
Cal me an old softie,
but this has me concerned, simply because you used the word death.
Give me a background,who raised you, how long in same spot, then all drug issues, you and your family and closest peers. Any therapy fro you? what Kind? what helped?
i'm a japanese american, 2nd generation, was born in cali and lived in 3 cities all my life. pretty much all near the south bay though... i did MASSIVE amounts of drugs. coke, weed, acid, shrooms, x, dmt, hydro/oxy codone. i rarely drink though.....
I want a list/journal of everything, everything you are taking, and you must start journaling this for yourself also. Times are very important everything you put in your body, DON'T LIE I'm waaay to busy for that, and it's pointless to lie to yourself at this stage.
um so i'm like on week three of the winstrol,i haven't done any drugs... but i'll be honest i'm not going to catalog drugs i take.. thats just weird...
Last things in you journal, obviously your training, and lastly. you thoughts. I'm interested in several. 1st thing you say to yourself or the world in the morning. 2nd what dialogue are you having when you have this feeling of death. 3rd anything you feel is prophetic. 4th.goodnight statements to yourself, and feelings towards towards those you love and hate
Get excited, I'm going to help you in a big way, I do need at least a few days worth.
If I think you are lying to me, skipping inputs, anything. Journal goes in the trash.
PM me on important observations and any questions.
If the death thing is just an euphemism for tired, then fuck you, think of another metaphor,
and don't bother me. As long as you're OK...Im OK too
journal? as in like my life or workouts? cause i don't keep either. i don't say anything to myself or the world in the morning. sometimes i do get depressed but thats really nothing and subsides in like a day or 2. i think it could be caused by all the mdma i've ingested.
really the only quirk i have is saying, "i hate my life" and " i wanna die" but i'm not really that serious.. well sometimes i am, but its not like anything i'm going to act out or on.
well thats that, sorry to have wasted your time though man.
