Mental Health Why the fuck are psychiatrists so expensive/picky with insurance

[BourbonMac]

I'm in serious mental trouble at the moment. Really the whole year, but now is sort of the breaking point.
I had major sinus surgery a few months ago, and finally seem to have recovered to a level where I no longer get headaches and such.
So what comes back, that had been gone for a pretty good stretch? Hellish, HELLISH ringing in my right ear. And as if the universe hates me, I thought to myself the other night "at least it's not in my left ear anymore" and then an hour later, it came back, after months of not having it in that ear. So all I can hear is the sound of metal scraping, like a bell ringing in my head, or like an old TV is inside my head.

This started in May of last year and gradually got worse and worse until my surgery. It seemed to quiet down quite a bit after that, 75%, then 90%, then 100%. I'd have some ringing in my right ear when I first woke up, lying down seemed to trigger it, but it would quickly fade. In any case, I often was experiencing true silence for the first time in well over a decade if not more. My sinuses have always been messed up.

So I've been having fits of extreme rage, confusion, frustration and wanting to kill myself. I want to live, but I don't. I'm 29 in a few months, I can't die before I'm 30. I have too much potential in so many areas. And yet, I've tried every anti-depressant that exists, I'm treatment resistant. The only time I've felt truly happy in the past year is when I took MDMA 2 weeks ago. I felt great for about a week. I know this is often used in therapy, but I don't think a few uses of it would be enough for me. There's a whole lot that comes down to how I became so mentally ill, and I don't really feel like going into it right now.

So this leads me to venting this thread. Why, WHY the fuck are psychiatrists/therapists so expensive??? I can't find any near me that take my insurance, and the two guys I have my eyes on charge $360 a visit, while the other guy charges...


$2,000 a visit. That's right. No typo. 2 thousand fucking dollars. Way to gatekeep people with mental illness. Oh, you want to get better? Sorry, it's too expensive. This is why suicides are the highest among people in poverty...


So I'm back to that point of thinking "well, if it gets too much, just jump off a building" and I can't help but be re-assured by this. I can tell you one thing, if I owned a gun, I would be dead right now. Thank God I don't. Meanwhile, I have a bunch of relatives coming this week because my older brother gets married next Saturday, all while I'm suffering from an extreme nervous mental breakdown. I don't know how much longer I can go on for, being like this. Even if my ears weren't ringing, I'm sure I'd find something to upset me here and there, but this really was the last straw. It's so terrible, I can't get any peace from it. I can stand next to a highway and its louder than the fucking cars!

And no it's not related to loud noises or hearing loss. I went to a concert a month ago and stood right next to the speaker, no earplugs, and when I went home, 100% silence. I know it's related to my sinuses still, and if it could go away before, it should be able to go away again. But I don't know what to think anymore. It's just gotten so much worse for really no reason at all. I have a 2nd opinion with another ENT scheduled but it's only 1 day before my actual follow-up with my surgeon.

 

[Jerry Atrick]

Hey @BourbonMac, I am sorry you are experiencing this. I have had tinnitus for nearly 20 years now and it has only gotten worse. However, it sounds like what you are dealing with may be caused by something different than how I got tinnitus. I would say to definitely get a second opinion from the other ENT and keep your appointment with your original surgeon.

As for the psychiatrist, are you in the US? If so, you should be able to use a psychiatrist anywhere in your state via video chat. I've never even met my current psychiatrist and he is located 300 miles from where I live. But he accepts my insurance and is a good doctor. I know video is less than ideal compared to real life but IMO something is better than nothing.

I really hope you can get the help you need both with your hearing and what is going on between your ears. Please keep us updated on how your ENT appointments go. Also, please let me know what you think of going the video route for finding a psych doc. You should be able to go to your insurance provider's website and search for in-network psychiatrists even if not in your city. Best of luck

 

[paranoid android]

As someone who suffers from tinnitus i can relate. I to have had it about 20 years since i worked at bricklaying where i was using demolition hammers and stuff. I am currently looking for a ENT to and my goddamn doctor is being slow with the referral. Thank fuck i live in Canada where shrinks and doctors are free or i would literally be fucking dead. I would say do a video chat if you can i just do a phone chat with my gp now and it's fine. Right now im on clonazepam and zopiclone from my shrink and morphine from my GP and that helps deal with the ungodly ringing in the ears that won't shut the fuck up.

 

[BourbonMac]

Yeah, I'm in the US. But I'm very, very picky about the type of therapist I'd like to see. It seems much simpler for most people. My GP sent a link that should help me find some therapists that might take my insurance. Video calls aren't something I'd really like to do, I would prefer to go see someone behind closed doors, as my current living environment is a major trigger for most of my mental illness. My house is what I call the trauma box. I'm 28 with 70 year old parents and watching them break down has been very disturbing for me. My other 3 siblings all got out and I was left behind, forced to face the realities that they don't understand. But they didn't necessarily get away trauma free. My oldest brother (40 in November) has a bit of a freak out any time he comes by, my older brother who is 30 is all caught up with 3 kids. He met a girl whose parents basically gave them their old house, he got lucky, considering he was a slacker all his life. But he depends very heavily on adderall and I think he's never been the same since.

As for my older sister, 37 in November, she was the first one to get out, and she lived a pretty good life at college and such. But to my surprise, all 3 of my siblings see a therapist. I'm the only one who doesn't. I had no idea they were all seeing one, it's clear the trauma from our upbringing affected them too, I just think it ended up hitting me the hardest, unfortunately. But I don't really want to get into all of this.

Btw paranoid, how do you find morphine helps the ringing? IME any opioids will make my ears ring more. Morphine in particular is associated with hearing loss, so be careful. Maybe it's just making you not care as much so you don't notice it.

 

[BourbonMac]

So my tinnitus got significantly worse today for no reason, making me wanna die. Lovely. It actually seems my left ear is hearing the ringing from my right, because when I push in my right tragus, the left ear stops ringing until I release it.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

So my tinnitus got significantly worse today for no reason, making me wanna die. Lovely. It actually seems my left ear is hearing the ringing from my right, because when I push in my right tragus, the left ear stops ringing until I release it.

Some people are helped by gingko biloba, which apparently improves blood flow to the inner ear, which can alleviate the ringing. I had tinnitus myself for a couple years quite badly, I thought I was going insane at times. Also could not pinpoint a particular organic cause. Didn't know about the gingko or would've tried it. What did help me get to sleep and shut out the infernal whistling noise was playing white noise, like rushing water etc.
PS also read somewhere that antihistamines (second generation ones, specifically) have been beneficial.

 

[BourbonMac]

I've taken benedryl some nights, I usually take claratin. Benedryl works faster so its good for night time use. I haven't noticed that helping though. There's this weird thing going on that if I plug my right ear until the ring is muffled, the left ear stops ringing for a second completely. Definitely some weird stuff going on.

At the moment my ears are ringing pretty loud after it was way, but I hit my vape pen too hard or something, idk. Getting high always made it worse but I still would be smoking monstrous bong packs. But I've been vaping oils to be safe since I had sinus surgery a few months ago and don't want smoke to interfere. I'm not sure if this contributes though I've been hitting vape pens for like 3 months. I used to get worse ringing when I smoked, and it seemed like vape wouldn't do that. It was only after a 3rd hit of the pen, so I guess I'll back off on it for now, even though I was getting baked to oblivion every night and it didnt affect my tinnitus at all. Sometimes if it was there it'd become quieter. I picked up a vape pen in cape cod and it was very wide and you can't not get monster hits from it since there's no button