hunger,
it hurts, thats the problem
its telling you that if you dont eat you die
so what is the evil ?
its suffering
so why is there suffering ?
cuz there is pleasure
following life gives you pleasure
its all about survival and evolution and how chaos like to express itself
there is nothing "evil" about it, tho evil is just a world and i think get what you are saying
i use to wonder why life would be worth it if there is suffering in it ?
and there is torture and wars and genocide and rape and hate and hunger and disease and death and a million things thats are just not acceptable
i was in a situation where i didnt believed in god but was thinking that if there is a god that created all this my mission would be to go find him and kill him cuz he is the most awful disgusting evil thing there could be to create all that possibility of suffering (not even including the burning in hell for eternity part)
it was a time in my life where i was thinking about killing myself or maybe a little bit after that
i just wasnt at peace with the fact that life can be so bad, so so fucking bad
so lately i was watching a documentary about genocides, and genocides are at the top of the list when i think about how awful the world we live in can be, it includes all the other bad; torture, starvation, rape, murder....
and the thing is genocides have killed more people than wars this past century
but i was fine watching it, it didnt made me down or philosophical about it all
i came to the understanding or maybe i should say acceptance that there is good cuz there is bad
there is suffering cuz there is pleasure
and there is life cuz there is death
and "life is unfair so kill yourself or get over it"
which was a quote from a song i use to tell myself
i did not kill myself, i choose to live, and now i had to get over it
problem was that as a kid i was sheltered from that reality and i didnt learn to deal with it
as a kid the good guy always win at the end, and if you do it right things will go fine, and there is a reason a good reason for things to happens and adult are in control of the situation
but that whole world was wisful thinking, it was a lie
but thats what was in me, i wanted to believed that things where good, that life was good...
but it aint
life aint good or bad
good is good
bad is bad
and life is life
buddha said life is suffering
and that would piss me off back when i was depress cuz it seemed so true
and it aint like he is some random guy who said life is a bitch
hes got some authority on the mater
and in a situation where my life was hurt it made sense tho i didnt want it to make sense
but life isnt suffering
life is doing just fine
you may be suffering, and thats cause you are centering on suffering
when i was a happy kid life wasnt suffering
life was happy, i was happy
why did it became suffering ? cuz i was wondering why
why
and why
and why i was wondering why, that was the psychoanalysis part where i try to figure out why i ended up in a situation where i wonder why
and i was cuz i had lost balance
life was suffering cuz i was looking for something
something...
what was it
i wasnt sure
but thats why i ended up in that situation where life was suffering
cuz i had lost balance
but then i found it back
and life isnt suffering
life is life and suffering is suffering and if your life is suffering you are doing something wrong
and in Buddhism they have their ways of dealing with that but i didnt identified whit Buddhism much cuz it didnt work for me, it simply made me more depress...
but i found my ways to deal with it
so ill go back to me not killing myself
then what, then you learn to let go until you dont expect things to go your way
things are things and you let them be
you need to accept your own suffering to be able to accept the suffering in others
so its 2 for the price of one, once you can deal with yourself you can deal with the whole world
so ill go back to "following life gives you pleasure"
because thats how it works, you find pleasure in eating and sex because thats what preserve your life on a individual level and on a species level
life is trying to survive and its using you to keep herself alive and if you follow her she makes you feel good
why is there life, because there is death
why is there something, because there is nothing
so why is there suffering, because there is pleasure
that duality creates consciousness
you could not be a aware being without suffering
you could not experience life without duality
like if i take a piece of paper and write
something on it
the only reason i can write
something on it is cuz there was
nothing on it to begin with
and you cant write white on white or black on black or else you wont see something
you need the duality to experience something
hunger for food, hunger for love, hunger for sex...
you experiment suffering cuz you, the you in you, the ego, it wants to keep you alive
if you didnt identified with your ego you wouldnt feel pain
like some people with mental problem do sometimes
so
why is there hunger? :
because there is hunger !
...and sorry to be so unfocused in what im writing, ive just had a lot of fun lately writhing long post : )
((btw the documentary was this : Genocide: Worse Than War
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7cZuhqSzzc))