Sounds like a positive thing? I gained no such insight from breaking through; this could be for a myriad of reasons including the set and setting kind of being thrust upon me in almost an "I dare you" way.
100%
that positivity didn't come until i was able to view the experience in retrospect
That night I was the most afraid i've ever been in my life, but it wasn't as I was "descending into hell." Once I panicked, I started fighting the strings pulling me down. They still had a grip but I climbed my way out, brother. I was outside on my deck at the time. I was using so much force and willpower to just move one foot in front of the other that my jaw was clenched and it felt like the most awkward robowalk ever.... but I slid open the back door, and my only thought was I needed to say goodbye to my dogs.
So I robowalk through the downstairs and start crawling up my the steps to the second floor. With every step I take, i feel the strings pulling harder and harder to get me back to my starting point.
I persist. It's a fucking struggle though, bro, and about halfway up the steps i start to notice my house is full of this green fog/haze. Crawling up the final step, I poke my head around the corner. I make eye contact with my youngest pup and start to reach for her, but the closer I get the harder I have to fight to make progress.
I get withing a few inches of grabbing onto her and holding her like she's my lifeline, but right before I make contact her eyes snap open and she starts to growl at me.
She NEVER growls at me, man, it surprised me just enough that the strings saw their opportunity to take advantage.... and an instant later I'm right there on the deck, sitting in my chair and holding a bong that's been so recently hit the cherry's still going and the chamber's full of smoke billowing out.
What scared the life out of me is that I have no way of telling how much of this trip happened solely in my head despite the solid memories of moving through my house. When I sobered up and went inside for real, the house was quiet. It was the exact scene I saw only moments before, just without the green haze throughout the house. My dogs were all sound asleep, every other person in the house was sound asleep. Nobody showed any indication of noticing anything prior to my sober entry.
Never forego a tripsitter, yall. Or maybe record yourself or something, idk.