Hello, im not new to bl but its been to long since i ve been here to remember my login, or email i used to set up. Its ok tho, i rather just post as someone new instead of that one green dude with dumb questions. Being thats its been like 9 years since i first joined and about a year since i last logged in...im definetlly not green anymore..no..im stained..for life..lol. But anywho. I looked back at all my old post, from the start to the end and it truly sends chills down my spine. I started with post about MDMA whoooooo scary, then to tabs, and then to heroin, methadone, and back to dope..etc Reading that downfall of this user on the site i used to be makes me feel like im watching someone else fall from the 4th dimension. I want to reach in and tell this lost soul to just stop!!! But then i think back, many member told me to chill out but i didnt listen. Now that ive gone thru hell and back, and currently keeping my demons under conrtol with methadone, it seems like the days of addiction were so long ago, like a life time ago..but it wasnt...ive been on methadone this time around for 9 months...but ive been living straight..nothing but my methadone...it seems like ill never fall back into heroin again...but in the back of my head i know shit happens..and i dont want to go back to it..but i know i have no control...ii really dont...that old person i used to be disgust me..but i know hes lurking deep down waiting to get oout...anyone else ever feel like that?
Why does it seem like it was so long ago.
- Thread starter dubdidit
- Start date
nuttynutskin
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 15, 2011
- Messages
- 10,681
Honestly not really, although I don't have experience with heroin. Just give it time, the longer clean time you have the more the cravings and what not will go away.
Ehh..its not so much that i have cravings..i have a padsing thought now n then but i dont crave any drugs..i enjoy telling ppl i can pass a drug test anyday of the week....its more like the done' is just keeping my real self in a locked corner of my mind. Those methadone clinics are bastatds at times n will kick you out forjust about anything. Im a model patient but if something were to happen there is no question id go right back to dope. I guess what im asking is depite feeling like im a new man. .living right. Eating right. No illicit drugs..i still feel like a junkie on the inside. But like you all said..maybe in time this sober song and dance i out on will maybe become the real me one day.
nuttynutskin
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 15, 2011
- Messages
- 10,681
Work on self improvement... Meditation, masturbation?
Replace the time that was spent in addiction with new interests.
Snowy_Hell
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2017
- Messages
- 184
Do entheogenics, go to gym and fuck pretty princesses a lot. That usually gets me out of the self-pity hole.
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Zonxx
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2019
- Messages
- 2,860
the brains funny and likes to remember these things just to fuck with us, but on a more serious note.. thats what drugs do man, you use em, know how nice they are and simply remember that feeling for as long as you can thats how drugs work their magic, and ofcourse who wouldn't want to feel nice everywaking moment? but keep up the work, i say work because thats what it really is when you're telling yourself 'no' all the time and have to listen to that little voice saying no even though you want to kick it in the face