That's a good question. How do you know that we exist at all? Maybe all of reality is just a sea of scattered colors that your mind has taken eons trying to arrange into something entertaining, and it's just been so long since this all started that you've forgotten the way things used to be. But perhaps this delusion is finally fading and we are the agents of your subconscious that are trying to push you towards remembering the truth. Better take some LSD and find out.
I mulled this over, last night, on a good glass of whisky. I have a very personal belief I was able to connect to our conversation here. I had also recently read a book by Eckhard Tolle. Very confusing and a bit of a struggle to get through, not because it's intellectually daunting, but because the book isn't really written like a book. It's more of a 300 page monologue with little structure. Nevertheless, an amusing read.
That book helped me complete a form or belief I had been toying with for a while. Don't take this too seriously, I'm getting a little floaty here
The essence is that we exist as our "ego" and as a "higher existence". The former is the more earthly, material, the latter the more spiritual.
The ego is the necessary evil, the part of us that troubles us with our weaknesses, our insecurities, our fears, but at the same time, the vehicle we need to find our place on this world. The ego wants, the ego is angered, saddened, disappointed and quelled with quick fixes.
The higher existence is the part of us that is inherently good, wholesome, loving. It's what we need to find ourselves, that steers us on the right path. It's what dreams, warms. It's where we know right from wrong, it's what we cling to if our ego's have been shattered or destroyed through grief or loss.
The ego can serve as a butler of sorts, to the higher existence, adding more qualities, traits or talents to the higher existence. When our physical body dies, the ego is destroyed and the higher existence remains. I can't really call it a soul, because I'd personally attach religious themes to it.
What happens next, after death, I have no idea of, naturally. But I'd like to believe that we gather all the good things we've done in our lives and move on to a next life, with more qualities to ourselves, than before.
Historical figures like Jesus, Mohammed, the Dalai Lama, maybe even Tesla, were people who were able to leave their ego's behind and were operating on their higher existences. "Enlightened", if you will, if you're able to detach the religious weight.
On a trip, depending on the dosage, I believe an ego death means we are "surrendered" or remain with our higher existence. Something we simply cannot fathom, still in our earthly shells. Maybe it's like pressing left, left, right right, up down, up down, a, b, etc. and activating a cheat mode to achieve god mode
People that are comfortable with themselves and have some sort of conscious or subconscious idea of their higher existence, might experience ego death or the impending onset of it, as something liberating, enlightening, interesting, intriguing, titillating, etc. People that are not, might get very nihilistic. It might be terrifying or at the very least confusing. Maybe, at that point, is when people start having a bad trip. Maybe it's the ego, clawing for existence.
Hmpf, something I'm definitely taking into the trip, next time. Although I'm pretty sure I'll need to have a undisturbed solo trip to fully think this through.