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Why do I keep relapsing?

H

Hiddentalent

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 5, 2022
Messages
7
Hey everyone, so I have a 3 year opiate addiction. I’m suppose to get clean this week. But every single day I’ve relapsed. Do you guys have any suggestions other than rehab, like supplements, activities, etc. to just get thru this sickness?
 
Hello and welcome to bluelight. :)
Try to focus on what it is that that means more than opioids and spend time cultivating this relationship whatever or whoever it may be.
There are other ways of distracting oneself from using but the distraction(s) may need to be strong (like difficult video games, expending copious anounts of physical energy in the outdoors, concentrating on difficult issues etc).
There are substances like kratom that can ease the "need" to dose but would use in low doses from fears of withdrawals. Blackseed oil Inunderstand is helpful to lower tolerance to opioiods so maybe taper down the use of opioids or even skip doses once in a while.
Eat healthy and drink lots of water based liquids. Water preferrable.
There really is no free ticket to get off this opioid rollercoaster and some that help may not help others.
Any other drugs involved?
Hope the best in this.
J
 
6am-64-14m said:
Hello and welcome to bluelight. :)
Try to focus on what it is that that means more than opioids and spend time cultivating this relationship whatever or whoever it may be.
There are other ways of distracting oneself from using but the distraction(s) may need to be strong (like difficult video games, expending copious anounts of physical energy in the outdoors, concentrating on difficult issues etc).
There are substances like kratom that can ease the "need" to dose but would use in low doses from fears of withdrawals. Blackseed oil Inunderstand is helpful to lower tolerance to opioiods so maybe taper down the use of opioids or even skip doses once in a while.
Eat healthy and drink lots of water based liquids. Water preferrable.
There really is no free ticket to get off this opioid rollercoaster and some that help may not help others.
Any other drugs involved?
Hope the best in this.
J
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Thanks so much for your reply J.
So I used kratom to get off of oxys. Now I’m at 30+ grams a day of kratom. And i was suppose to quit Monday. My whole family is rooting for me, and think I’ve been detoxing. I’ve relapsed every day this week so far. The longest I made it was 18 hours off it. I feel like I could handle the withdrawls but the craving takes control. I have to get stop tomorrow cold turkey. I was at 45 grams a day. Monday I did 25grams. Yesterday I did 33 grams. And today I’ve done 11.5 grams. And want to dose again atleast one more time. I don’t have any friends because of my addiction. And my family doesn’t talk to me. I reached out to everyone and told them about my addiction and they were supportive but don’t reply to any of my texts. How can I for sure get off this? What would you do if you were in my shoes? I do have an Xbox but I can’t ever just sit still. I feel like I need to be active but I get so sweaty and nervous to tgo out in public.
Thanks again J
 
Hiddentalent said:
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
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Keep dropping kratom doses. Seriously.
How many Gs and how often do you dose kratom a day at this time?
Once you get below a certain dose kratom seems to not cause any or minimal issues when stopped completely. We are all dif butbthensame so ymmv, friend.
 
6am-64-14m said:
Keep dropping kratom doses. Seriously.
How many Gs and how often do you dose kratom a day at this time?
Once you get below a certain dose kratom seems to not cause any or minimal issues when stopped completely. We are all dif butbthensame so ymmv, friend.
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Hey, thanks for your response. I’ve convinced my mind that I’m all done today, today I will have taken 23 grams. And i gave my mom my Wallet. And zero kratom left around the house. I took off of work til Wednesday next week. Do you think I can beat this and be normal by next Wednesday?
 
Hiddentalent said:
Do you think I can beat this and be normal by next Wednesday?
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Cannot say. Sorry.
I would suggest tapering the kratom to a dose that is 6g or below before jumping but thats just me.
Is there any other meds used or around?
 
6am-64-14m said:
Cannot say. Sorry.
I would suggest tapering the kratom to a dose that is 6g or below before jumping but thats just me.
Is there any other meds used or around?
Click to expand...
Tapering doesn’t seem to work for me. I feel like a junkie. If I have 10 grams, i have to take all 10. Cold turkey will be the only way for me unfortunately. But no medications or anything at home. Just Tylenol. I heard ginseng helps with withdrawl. Id like to stay busy so I don’t think about withdrawing but I can’t go to work til next Wednesday. I can’t think of what to do. What do you think I should do to stay busy? I’m sorry I feel so pathetic right now. And want to beat this really badly.
 
Hiddentalent said:
f I have 10 grams, i have to take all
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My opinion?
Work on this. Self control is the only way I have found to beat back addictions be they over/undereating, sex, drugs, overworking myself physically or any other "issue" that may be self destructive.
When I say 6Gs taper that is broken down into 2g a dose throughout the. lol
Instant gratification isnt all what its cracked up to be ime.
What "opiate" are we talking about initially?
6am-64-14m said:
Try to focus on what it is that that means more than opioids and spend time cultivating this relationship whatever or whoever it may be.
Click to expand...
 
Hi I seen ur headline 'Why do u keep relapsing' I ask myself the same question everyday, but to be honest I also see that as each day goes by I do get better, every now n then I will have a blow out, but it depends on the years u have been using, its hard because u know the feeling u get when u use what ever drug, but if u can use it less and less then u shld be proud off yourself, I started using to block things out my head, family problems, etc escaping reality for a bit, Self Medicating, but after 15 years off drug abuse daily I'm now using maybe once twice, sometimes I don't, it's hard when ur life had been revolving around drugs, ppl think it's an easy thing to quit once u get a substitute but it's not cause in ur head u only know one thing that gets u thru, just take it a day at a time, we all relapse over and over but there will come a day u will get thru and life will fall into place
 
Your right. Self control is the only way. Initially I was using hydrocodone. Then got an oxycodone connect. I was using atleast 80mg a day for 2-3 years. Then found out about kratom, at first I was using 5 grams twice a day to get off oxys. Then I started upping the dose. Last year I started taking it 3x a day atleast 10 grams at a time. My wife left me in March of this year, and I started taking it 4x a day to cope. Worked my way down to 3x a day again. For the past 3 days I’ve been taking it twice, 3x yesterday because of lack of control. Before all this, I was in a band, had a lot of friends. Went to the gym every single day. And was consistent with everything. As soon as I got about 3 months into opiates I couldn’t keep a job, all my relationships failed.. and I now only stay home alone and talk to nobody. I want my life back but feel I’ve gone too far
 
Hiddentalent said:
Tapering doesn’t seem to work for me. I feel like a junkie. If I have 10 grams, i have to take all 10. Cold turkey will be the only way for me unfortunately. But no medications or anything at home. Just Tylenol. I heard ginseng helps with withdrawl. Id like to stay busy so I don’t think about withdrawing but I can’t go to work til next Wednesday. I can’t think of what to do. What do you think I should do to stay busy? I’m sorry I feel so pathetic right now. And want to beat this really badly.
Click to expand...

Hiddentalent said:
Your right. Self control is the only way. Initially I was using hydrocodone. Then got an oxycodone connect. I was using atleast 80mg a day for 2-3 years. Then found out about kratom, at first I was using 5 grams twice a day to get off oxys. Then I started upping the dose. Last year I started taking it 3x a day atleast 10 grams at a time. My wife left me in March of this year, and I started taking it 4x a day to cope. Worked my way down to 3x a day again. For the past 3 days I’ve been taking it twice, 3x yesterday because of lack of control. Before all this, I was in a band, had a lot of friends. Went to the gym every single day. And was consistent with everything. As soon as I got about 3 months into opiates I couldn’t keep a job, all my relationships failed.. and I now only stay home alone and talk to nobody. I want my life back but feel I’ve gone too far
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I find that the hydrocodone and Oxy's just hold back the withdrawals, once theyr done the withdrawals will begin, iv spoke to a few about Kratom and I was advised not to, I'm in the UK I get the Buvadal Injection once a month and it does me great, I have a blow out now n then but the Injection certainly stops the withdrawals, using drugs is hard and so many ppl put us addicts down but if they were in our shoes it's the biggest battle you will ever go thru, and I hope u all get to the place u want to be, it does take time but it will happen, ur body will let u knw when, so if u keep relapsing maybe ur just not quite ready but Don give up cause u will be ready soon
 
kelay said:
I find that the hydrocodone and Oxy's just hold back the withdrawals, once theyr done the withdrawals will begin, iv spoke to a few about Kratom and I was advised not to, I'm in the UK I get the Buvadal Injection once a month and it does me great, I have a blow out now n then but the Injection certainly stops the withdrawals, using drugs is hard and so many ppl put us addicts down but if they were in our shoes it's the biggest battle you will ever go thru, and I hope u all get to the place u want to be, it does take time but it will happen, ur body will let u knw when, so if u keep relapsing maybe ur just not quite ready but Don give up cause u will be ready soon
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Thanks! I think I’m ready. I gave my mom my wallet and car keys and she lives 40 minutes away. So I’m ready to just sweat this shit out. I may try to play video games like you suggested. I’ll post updates. I appreciate your quick responses. You really helped my mind frame today
 
Hiddentalent said:
Thanks! I think I’m ready. I gave my mom my wallet and car keys and she lives 40 minutes away. So I’m ready to just sweat this shit out. I may try to play video games like you suggested. I’ll post updates. I appreciate your quick responses. You really helped my mind frame today
Click to expand...
 
Hidden talent, just thought I'd give u a wee post to see how u r doing? Hope it worked out, but if not don't put yourself down as its a long process, it's easy coming off its the staying off, I hope uv done what u set out to do, and I glad I helped u, more than happy to speak when u need to chat, x
 
Hiddentalent said:
Thanks! I think I’m ready. I gave my mom my wallet and car keys and she lives 40 minutes away. So I’m ready to just sweat this shit out. I may try to play video games like you suggested. I’ll post updates. I appreciate your quick responses. You really helped my mind frame today
Click to expand...
 
1) your mental attitude does wonders (im on day 7 off years of methadone WDs)
2) meds (very important) you can find my post i just did today of the meds i used but i recommend Clonidine, Lyrica and some benzo to start
3) be prepared to suffer a bit, its ok, it will pass. Im having a tango session with this bitch right now but i aint budging, not an inch.
4).......then the real battle begins.

Funghi
 
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